Are We There Yet?

Are We There Yet?
This is the sign that is over the front door of Aileen's and my house, our home, going OUT. Meaning that when someone leaves our house they are going into the ACTUAL Mental Ward.

I've always felt that way. When it is considered how much ugliness and killing and hatred there is in the world today, it actually makes perfect sense that this sign is over the door going out of the house.

Because that's where the real mental ward is.

Saturday, November 23, 2013

A New View

8:08 PM, EST:

I realize that my Journal is very difficult to read because I'm not talking very nicely about religion.  But then I don't really care anymore.  All my life I've seen horrible things done in this country to people as a result of religious differences.  All my life having come from a mixture religious family I have been subjected to racism and prejudice and bigotry by not only my fellow Jews.  But by the Catholic and Christian communities within the United States.  And when I was just 12 years old.  It was a group of Catholic and Christian children at Fairfax elementary school who tried to murder me.  And as a result.  Of course the right side of my face had to be completely rebuilt.  And it was at that time that I became partially crippled in my left leg.  This of course I have documentation to certify.  Meaning to certify that it actually happened.  And that documentation can be found in my biographical profile .

So when people want to go ahead and tell me that I may be lying all I have to do is pull out that documentation and then they know that I'm not lying and that this country the United States of America has been in the throes of religious bigotry and prejudice at least for the last 63 years.  Because that's how old I am.  Some of matter what anyone wants to say about America being the land of the free.  You can take it from me, a Sephardic Jew, that America is not free.  Because as a Sephardic Jew.  I represent one of the smallest minorities in the United States of America.  And as a member of one of the smallest minorities in the United States of America I can tell you with absolute 100% certainty that America is overrun with religious bigotry and has been my entire life.  And I have been victimized by that religious bigotry as a result of hatred for me by the Christians and the Catholics of the United States and my fellow Jews in the United States.

The matter what anyone wants to say about America being a really friendly country in reality America is only friendly of you are white and Christian.  Because if you are not then you are not free and you are not treated with any kind of the quality and you are not treated with any kind of compassion or care.  You are treated with racism and take a tree and prejudice.  As my biographical profile shows very clearly the good old white Catholics and the good old boy Christians and my fellow Jews acted out with hatred and prejudice against me and tried to murder me in 1962.  And if you think they stopped trying in 1962 then you don't know anything about my life.  Because the Catholics and the Christians and the Jews of hated me all my life.  Because they don't like each other.  So they of course don't like me coming from a mixed religious family.

Which is okay.  Because I don't like religion.  And that's because religion has never liked me and never treated me with any kind of respect and sense religion doesn't want to treat me with respect.  You can bet your bottom dollar that I'm not going to give them much ground anywhere in my life.  And I never have.

You people of religion have a lot to answer for.  With the you like it or not you have one hell of a lot to answer for.  You have waged wars you ever murdered each other.  You have destroyed nations you have destroyed religious and historical sites all over this planet you have murdered families and murdered children you have allowed the ground to run red with the blood of hundreds of thousands and tens of millions of men women and children.  Because of your religious hatred for each other.  And you call yourselves enlightened.  I call you what you are.  A bunch of maggots climbing around on a pile of garbage.

In 63 years.  You for religions here in these United States have not learned how to live with each other in peace.  What you have done is to develop as much hatred for each other as possible.  And if you think that's enlightened then you don't even know the meaning of the word.

And it all those years having been attacked hated most of my life I have never once struck a single human soul.  I have never struck a single human being.  I have never raised my hands in anger against the single human being.  Some a matter what.  The Jews in the Catholics and the Christians have tried to do to me with their hatred for me.  They have never made me hate them.  I have hated religion and I have hated the behavior that humans displayed to each other, but I have never hated anything that God made.  But God did not make religion.  People in their arrogance and in their hatred for God and in their defiance four God created religion.

And we know that's true because every time anyone in any of the four major religions, in the world, and dares to try and talk to God or Allah directly the reaction by the religion is that the religion either kills that person or they ostracized them or excommunicate them.  Or they laugh at them and call them stupid.  Because religions do not want their followers talking to God or doing what God tells them to do.  If you are part of a religion you are required by that religion to do exactly what you are told to do by the religion.  You are not allowed to do what God tells you to do because that is not what the religion want to to do.  The religion want you to do exactly what the religion tells you to do, not God.

And of course I have copious source notes in my see also section below to substantiate everything I'm saying.  To show you very clearly that religion hates anyone who dares not do what the religion tells them to do but instead does what God tells them to do.  Because the religious reaction is that religion will then turn and kill that person and they will murdered their family.  They will kill their children or they will ostracize them.  Meaning they will kick them out of that religion because you will either do what you were told.  Or you will not be allowed to be part of that religion.  Either you will obey what you are told to do and not do what God tells you to do or the religion will kick you out.  Or they will kill you.

And like I said, if that is enlightened thinking that we need a new definition of the word.  Because it is not enlightened.  It is nothing more than a I'm just stupid bastards claiming to be sentient beings who are acting out of some of the most primitive and ugly forms of hatred that have ever existed in the human condition.  And no matter how anyone wants to dress it up, humanity has become nothing more than its own worst enemy as a result of primitive and ugly and backward racist stupid religious antiquated dogmatic thinking.  And nothing is going to convince the religions to stop being a bunch of dumb, stupid bastards because religions take pride in being hateful and violent.  Or need I remind everyone that the only place on the entire planet where people are not trying to kill each other over religious or political differences is on the island known as Pitcairn Island.  Now that is an absolute statistical fact, ladies and gentlemen.  Pitcairn Island is the only island or the only place in the entire world where people are not trying to kill each other over religious differences.

So when all the good old boys stupid bastards from the four different religions want to claim how enlightened humanity really is my answer is simple.  If humanity is really so enlightened then why is humanity trying to kill each other as a result of religious hatred and prejudice?

Thank God I am finally getting into my 60s because that means I won't be alive much longer.  And the sooner I die, the sooner I can scrape off humanity like that piece of crap.  And garbage humanity has been to me in my life.  You did not welcome me into this world.  Like any kind of in addition to humanity from the very day I was born I was considered to be nothing more than a piece of garbage and filth.  Thank you very much.  You Christians in you Catholics in my fellow Jews had the opportunity to show me the godliness within you and instead you have shown me your hatred you have tried to kill me.  You have ruined my life in every way you possibly could you deprived me work.  You threw me out of places of business.  You miss treated my wife.  All because of your religious primitive ugly racism.  And a funny thing is that not one of you Catholics and not one of you Christians anywhere in this world can prove to me that Jesus was a racist.  Because if you think you can prove that I dare any of you Catholics are Christians to show me the words in the Bible that prove that Jesus was a racist.  And if you can't then you Catholics and Christians should hang your head in shame.  You don't deserve to call yourselves Catholics and Christians.  When you turn around and say you hate Jews because Jesus died for being one.

But because I am pro-life.  I will never take my own life.  That will never happen.  But I will ask God to let me die.  And I do so several times a week.  I know when I am not wanted somewhere.  And when I am not wanted somewhere.  I usually simply leave.  Only I can't do that right now.  Because for me to leave right now would mean I would have to take my own life and I'm not going to do that.  Because I don't believe in insulting God.  I will let the Jews in the Catholics and the Christians and the Muslims go ahead and insult God.  All they want and insult Allah all they want with their racism and their violence in their hatred.  Because the real Muslims in this world know full well that Mohammed was in fact a pacifist.  Meaning he did not believe in violence.  And he was also not a racist.

So go ahead on.  You Christians and Catholics and Jews in this world go ahead on them keep hating everyone is much as you possibly can.  All four of you religions spend more money and time and energy on spreading hatred against each other.  Then you do in trying to get along and that's exactly what our children are learning that's exactly why our world is filled with so much religious hatred because you people that are my age you are mothers and fathers are teaching your children that hatred and racism.  Because you are proud of your hatred you are proud of your racism because you really think you can shake your fist at God.

So go ahead.  It will be my soul that you turn dark with all of that hatred because no matter what any of you have done I have never hated a single human life.  I have never hated anything that God made which means all of you with your prejudice and your bigotry in your hatred against me have failed you have not forced to me to come down to your primitive ugly backward level of hatred.  You have not pushed me to the ground.  Because no human can.  God made me and God is the only one who will break me.  And if any of you Catholics are Christians want to go ahead and demonstrate your love for Jesus Christ, by coming to my home with a gun and killing me.  I urge you to go ahead and do so at your earliest convenience.  All you have to do is bring a gun to my home and knock on my front door and I will stand right out there on the porch of my home and I will allow you to kill me.  Because like I said, I know God and God knows my heart and God knows my soul and nothing that any of you Christians are Catholics or Jews can do to me will ever turn my soul heart like you are souls are before God.  Because you are the ones who are practicing racism and bigotry and prejudice and hatred for each other on the basis of religion.  Not me.  You're the ones who own guns and spread wars and spread hatred for each other.  You're the ones that are turning your backs on the very people that Jesus gave his life to protect your the ones depriving the poor of everything you are the ones screwing the people who are the meek which Jesus said would inherit the Earth.  You're the ones out there practicing racism and bigotry and prejudice and firing people because of their religious beliefs.  You're the ones that are out there lying to yourselves into the world about how you believe in Christianity what you turn around and do everything you can to crush anyone who disagrees with you.  And if you think Jesus is going to come down to earth.  And thank you for the ugliness you have spread in this world.  Then you are truly to stupid to be reading this article.

For those who aren't religious.  Just remember this every single action that takes place in the universe has a reaction.  And if you think all the negative crap that humanity has done energetically speaking is not going to have a reaction.  Then you again not too stupid to read this article.  Humanity is going to be paid back in spades for the ugliness that humanity has done to itself and to this world.  I don't have a problem with what humanity has done because I'm not going to be one of the people that has to pay for any of the crimes that humanity has done because I'm one of the victims of that hatred and of those crimes crimes that the Catholic church will never admit to crimes that the Christians don't have any guts to admit to an crimes that my fellow Jews won't even admit to.

But like I've always said you can lie to yourselves and you can lie to your families and you can lie to the world but you won't be able to lie to God.  And if you are Catholic or Christian.  That means you won't be able to lie to Jesus Christ.  And when Jesus comes back to the world or that energy comes back to the world.  You Catholics and Christians are going to find that God is not real happy with what you have done with the words of Jesus Christ.  You did not embrace the poor.  You did not embrace the disenfranchised you did not take care of the downtrodden in stead you tried to screw everyone.  You possibly could.  You have lied and cheated and stolen from each other.  You have cheated God you have cheated your fellow humans you have cheated your children you have cheated your fellow man you have treated the people who are the ones considered to be the meek with the worst possible behavior that any human being could ever demonstrate to anyone else.

Every year in the United States 6 million women are either beaten, raped or murdered.  And 78% of those crimes are committed by pro-life Christians and that is a statistical fact.  The substantiation of that fact is listed in my see also section below.  And for you Catholics and Christians did dare say a single word you had better shut your mouth because those statistics were not compiled by me, a Jew.  Those statistics were compiled by Catholics and Christians.  So the don't like those statistics that you need to hate your own selves you need to hate your own religion because they are the ones who compiled the statistics to show you clearly how ugly your own religion has become.

God's attitude is really clear.  You made this mass.  So you need to clean up your own mess.  God is not going to come to earth and clean up your filth you are the ones who made the Earth into a toilet.  And if you think God is going to come down to earth and make it all correct at all nice.  After you have destroyed this world.  You got another thing coming.  When this planet needs to correct itself environmentally and if humans get in the way this world will shake humanity off like a dog shaking off water.  And if you I'm prepared to go would meet the Almighty if you've done anything negative for all your hatred that you may have all that negative crap is going to go with you, no matter where you go.  So hey John dear hatred and your bigotry in your prejudice.  Hang on dear violence in your guns and keep killing each other in the name of your religions and see what kind of the world you have.  Because within two or three generations the level of hatred.  We have now will not even compare with what will exist.  That's the world you have given our children.  A world of violence and hatred and ugliness where Jews and Muslims and Catholics and Christians hate each other so much they are willing to kill each other and to destroy the entire world.  Because of their hatred.  That's what you are giving our children.  So congratulations it took the word of God in you made it something evil and ugly you took the word of God it made it something despicable it took the word of God and celebrated as a battle cry for racism and bigotry and prejudice at war.  That's what you've done with the word of God, is to turn the word of God into a battle cry, rather than something to be celebrated by the soul.

No wonder I'm disgusted.  What person who actually believes in the Almighty would not be disgusted at what we humans have done to each other in the name of our respective religions all you do is turn holidays into moneymaking machines.  Because that's all you can do you don't even know how to celebrate God anymore without making money.  You make money off of everything, including God.  Even know the Christian Lord and Savior Jesus Christ told you never to make money off of God and that's exactly what the Catholics and Christians do exactly the opposite.  They make money off of God because Jesus told them never to do that.  That's exactly what the Catholics and the Christians hate the poor and mistreat the poor every chance they get.  That's why in every country where the Catholics and Christians are running the government the poor people and the Meek that Jesus talked about our the very people who are being screwed out of everything.  Because that's what Jesus told the followers not to do.  And that's the one thing you don't tell anyone.  You don't tell them not to do something because the moment to tell them not to do something that's exactly what they do.

And that's exactly what the Catholics and Christians did.  Jesus told them to celebrate the meek to take care of the women and children and so what is the Catholics and Christians do?  They went out and they tried to murder and kill as many women and children as possible.  And of course history shows that's true and conditions of never changed because in the United States 6 million women are eaten and raped and murdered every year with 78% of all those crimes being done by pro-life Christians.  And they are being done by pro-life Christians because the Christians hate God and they hate Jesus Christ for telling them to celebrate women, because nobody that Intel the Christians what to do, including God.

And so we have an entire population of Catholics and Christians were so arrogant and hateful of God that they will never allow Jesus Christ or God tell them what to do so when it comes to taking care of the meek they will crush the meek they will destroy the meek they will destroy women they will eat and raped women at the rate of one every 30 seconds in the United States they will destroy women.  Because Jesus told them not to do that.  And no one will tell any Catholic or Christian what to do, because if they do try to do that to a Catholic or Christian the Catholic or Christian will sing that song onward Christian soldiers marching as to war with the cross of Jesus going on before.  Meaning that they are going to carry that cross of Jesus Christ in front of them as they go through life killing and slaughtering and murdering in his name, which is why I now call the followers of Jesus Christ the killers for Christ.

And if you don't like Ted ugly word but which you need to do is change the way you live change your religions.  Because if you don't the only thing you're going to have within two or three generations left in this world is a bunch of maggots climbing around on a pile of garbage.  And most of humanity won't even survive anymore.  Because the environmental changes are taking place in such a way so that most of humanity is actually going to die off within about 200 years and what's left is going to be so hateful of each other that you won't even believe let alone understand the violence.

And the sad thing is that you humanity brought this all on yourselves.  You could have shown me and others like me in this world the compassion that Jesus spoke of at the sermon on the mount and that Muhammad spoke of and that Moses spoke of.  But instead which you did was you turned around and you shook your fist at God and tell God that no one, including God will tell you what to do so you went ahead and you bastardized all of your religious documents like you of bastardized and propagandized almost every bit of truth left in this world in order to justify your hatred in your racism and to make yourselves as ugly as possible to each other and before God and then you expect God and Jesus Christ and vomited Moses to come back to the world and say thank you for being as ugly as you have become.  Which basically proves how actually stupid humans really are because you believe that you are actually going to be graced with the blessing of God for destroying the world and destroying each other and for all the murdering and killing you have done.  That's how deluded you have actually become.

The world you have created in 2013 is a world that is despicable where people have become so stupid that they don't know how to think for themselves anymore.  They take medications that are being pushed on them by the pharmaceutical companies.  Medications that secretly have side effects designed to cause secondary illnesses so that when the medication that someone is taking to take care of the first illness.  When that first illness is actually resolved or fixed by the first medication that medication that they were taking actually has caused the secondary illness where the person has to go back to the pharmaceutical companies to buy more drugs to take care of the second illness, which then in turn causes a third illness.  It is the way that the pharmaceutical company maintains their customer base by keeping the people they are selling medications to depended on taking the medications.  They are buying by creating illnesses within the person as a result of the medications they are taking.

That's how sinister and anti-life and evil humanity has become and that's one of the reasons I don't take any of the drugs from any pharmaceutical company.  Because I don't trust those kinds of monsters.  Just like I don't trust the medical community anymore because they're not concerned with public health their concern was money.  That's all they care about is getting their pound of flesh.  Just like the drug companies, just like the energy companies, just like the utility companies.  Just like the Republicans and the tea party and the Christians and the Jews and the Muslims everyone is always asking for money because nobody cares about human life anymore.  All they care about is getting their money.  Just like the TV stations don't care about preventing domestic violence were suicides.  Because if they did they would actually put up suicide hotlines during their broadcast.  But they don't want to do that, because of they put up those numbers then they will be able to be at the scene of the crime to photograph the crime taking place and they thereby won't be able to get the ratings on TV for photographing that crime.  So no TV stations want to put up numbers to prevent domestic violence or suicides because they want the ratings for being there to report the crime.  So they would rather report the crime than to prevent the crime because they want the ratings.

That's the kind of ugly world you have created.  Don't look at me and blame me for the ugly ways you have behaved.  I am a minority in this country, and I've been treated with your bigotry in your prejudice all my life.  Even to this very day.  So go ahead hate me because the moment you start hating me.  You start hating God.  And I don't mean that I am anything to this world, because I am not.  I am the lowest form of life God ever put down on this planet.  I am the lowest form of life God ever created.  But if you hate me you hate God and the reason is very simple.  Because not one of you with the you are Jewish, Muslim, Catholic or Christian, not with one of you can't deny that God made me not one of you can deny that God sent me back when I died it was God who saved my life not anyone from the medical community not any Jew or Catholic or Christian or Muslim.  It was God who saved my life.  So if you want to hate me.  Then you had better understand that if you do that you will hate God and if you what I hate God.  My attitude the you are my message to you is simple.  Take your best shot and see where you end up if you start hating the Almighty.

So don't blame me for the fact that the world is in the toilet.  I've been talking for 45 years to try to convince you to stop acting the ways that you have I've tried for 45 years to get you to stop behaving like a bunch of stupid backward primitive ugly racist monsters.  And all you did was try to grind me into the ground and what's funny is that none of you ever succeeded.  Because nothing you can do will ever destroying me.  Because God is the one who made me.  And God is the only one that will break me.  And if you don't like that law then throw your Bibles and your other religious documents into the trash.  Because I am a product of those documents.  I've read every one of them.  And I believe in God and I always have and I have never stepped away from God.  I have never embraced religion because it was not made by God.  It was made by human beings and everything I've ever seen that humans have made has never been perfect, nor has it worked very well and most of it has been extremely dangerous and deadly.  So I don't put a lot of faith in what humans make.  Instead I put my faith in God because there wasn't any human who brought me back to life.  It was God.

So it's Thanksgiving week.  Because this is the week where families get together I generally remain as invisible as possible.  I do not go out.  I don't make my presence known anywhere on the streets and I stay to myself.  Because I don't have a family.  I don't have any family my own family hates me.  They always have.  So I have no family.  All I have is God and that's enough for me.  The one woman in this world who love to me actually loved me for me being me is dead.

I have lots of friends in this world all over the world in different countries.  And I'm very honored to have those friends.  And in reality I actually consider a lot of my friends around the world.  Part of my family.  But on Thanksgiving and on Christmas and during Hanukkah I don't really have a family.  Because I don't have anyone in my life my darling Aileen was the only woman in my life other than my grandmother and my aunt Helen and my black maid, Georgia Myers.  Other than those three women my darling Aileen was the only one who loved me for me.  And that speaks volumes about humanity.

So you won't really see much of me on Thanksgiving day.  Nor will you hear from me on Black Friday, or that we can't after Thanksgiving.  27 November was in fact my darling Aileen's and my anniversary.  The day when we actually met in 1993.  So I generally stay completely to myself and I am as invisible as possible.  Because Thanksgiving is for families.  Thanksgiving is for families to gather together and be grateful for what they have.  God knows I'm grateful.  God doesn't need any kind of significant sign for me to show how grateful I am for every day.  I have.  Because God knows my heart and God knows my soul.  But because Thanksgiving is to families.  That's why I stay as invisible as possible.  Because Thanksgiving is for families not individuals who have no family.  And I'm not one to go out and around looking for someone to give me something because I don't ask for anything from anyone.  I never have and I never will.

So the holidays for me.  I just another day.  There's no real significance.  I've lost everything in the world I ever loved.  Personally.  The only things I have left are this house my four cats and my days in my nights.  And if God can hear me, which I know God is able to do.  That God knows how tired I am.  And that I'm fine.  They at the point where I no longer believe very much in humanity.  Humanity hasn't shown anything to believe in.  Humanity is acted out like a bunch of sewer rats.  And humanity refuses to change.  Because humanity loves violence and loves killing each other.  It's what humanity lives for.  It's what makes humanity thrive.  Which is why are most of our movies are all about violence and killing and murder and death.  Because that's what humanity celebrates.

So be proud of yourselves.  You wanted to make yourselves as ugly as possible.  You wanted to make yourselves is violent and his evil and as racist and hateful as you possibly could.  So be proud of yourselves.  Because you've done a good job at doing just that.  You have made yourselves as ugly as possible as violent as possible as hateful as possible as racist and his bigoted and prejudiced as possible as backward and as ugly as you possibly could you glided cheated each other.  You are stealing from each other.  You are late money down before God.  When God has already told you that you should never do that Jesus told you not to do that Mohammed told you not to do that.  And Moses told you not to do that.  Which is exactly why you have chosen to do exactly that.  Because you will never allow anyone to tell you what to do, including God.

Bullshit walks and money talks.  Actions speak louder than words.

And if what I am saying is not true.  That would mean that all the statistics in my see also section below and all the source notes are not true either.  Except they are facts.  They are facts reported by Jews and Muslims and Christians all over this world about the ugliness of humanity.  And yet humanity doesn't even want to pay attention.  Because humanity has become so diluted and so full of itself that you really think you could stand there and threatened God.  Just like at the tower of Babel.

No wonder God wants to wipe out this place.  It's no surprise to me.  I and others like me have been begging God not to do this but you all in humanity are determined to shake your fist at God and demonstrate your hatred for God with your racism in your bigotry in your ugliness and laying money down before God.  You are determined to show God how much you hate God and how much you hate this world.  So again I say be really proud of what you've done because you've done one hell of a good job of destroying this planet and destroying each other.  Congratulations.

For my part I will keep wandering the streets when I go out looking for that.  Like in every single person I meet.  And I will continue being a friend to those who are in need.  Not because of some religion but because it simply makes sense to do so.  Because I know that when I am doing that I am doing the will of God with you call it God or Allah doesn't matter.  I am doing God's will.  When I extend myself and friendship to someone else.  Someone who is in need, regardless of who they are or what they are.  God doesn't make judgments of humanity.  Because humanity makes enough of those judgments of each other that God doesn't even have to come into it.  The living God judges is our souls not our lives.  It's humanity the judges each other on the basis of our lives.  And then claims that it is actually judging on the basis of the soul which is not true.  Because humanity doesn't have the ability or the right to judge the soul.  Because humanity is not God.

But try and tell any of you that is like trying to talk to a wall.  So it's basically the weekend before Thanksgiving.  It's Saturday night and people are out celebrating and drinking and being sloppy and drunken fools.  People are out doing drugs, smoking crap taking crap making their lives as miserable as possible with all of the garbage they put into their bodies while they celebrate thinking they are really happy when in reality they wake up the next morning feeling like crap.  If you think I haven't seen that in more than a dozen places in this country then you don't know me.

My mother and father with all the money they had were basically alcoholics.  There were a number of times when I was 16 and 17 years old when I had to drive my parents home because they were too drunk to take the wheel.  You don't even want to know some of the stories I could tell you, because they would be embarrassing.  And they would be discussed at so I don't talk about those stories.  No good will come from my telling those stories.  So I don't tell them.  But just because I don't tell them doesn't mean they did not happen.  The images of what I saw as I was growing up and been burned into my brain.  There are things I wish I could forget that I never will.  Things I've seen that I wish I never had.  That's why would people think that they know me simply by looking at me and they know nothing.  Long before I ever came to Cleveland in 1984 I had an entirely different life one that only a few people who actually knew me are even aware of.  But the people who have known me all my life know that I am exactly.  Now the way I have always been all my life I haven't changed.  The world has I am not.

So go ahead with your violence in your ugliness when all your racism Gowanda and preach your hatred in your bigotry and carry your religious symbols before you a Jew march off to war and kill each other.  If that's the best you can do to celebrate your love of God or Allah is to go forward and kill each other and destroy this place see which you have been three or four generations see how much of this places left after you have destroyed everything you possibly could.  Because that's what you're doing every single day.

And don't blame me for the way the world is like I said I've been talking for 45 years to try and get you to stop behaving like a bunch of rats and all that I ever got from that was that most of you looked at me and called me stupid and laughed at me.  I wonder how many of you will be laughing in two or three generations when everything I am saying is going to happen actually takes place.  Not because I'm better than anyone.  Because I am not I am not that are than anyone in this world.  I am the lowest form of life got ever spit down on this planet.  But I know these things because I'm different.  And being different doesn't mean better.  It just means being different.  And that's all I have ever been.  Different.  Not better.  So don't make me out like I'm making myself a better than anyone.  Because I don't do that.  I am better than no one in this world, because I have always believed that even in the least of life in the lowest form of life that exists in this world in the smallest speck of dust the whole of God is found.  And all of your religions teach you that in one way or another.  So of you hate me you will hate God.  Because God created me and there's no way you can get out from behind that one.  So go ahead and continue hating me hate everything I write paid everything I do paid my life hate me for coming from a mixed religious family.  Maybe because I'm disabled hate me because I've battled mental illness most of my life.  Maybe because I have a good brain hate me because I'm a Jew hate me for any reason you want and all you will have left is your hatred because you won't affect my soul.  You won't affect my belief in God.  You won't affect my journey back to God.  You won't affect anything.  You will have no affect on me whatsoever.  Even if you took a gun and you are raced my life physically you would not affect my soul.  Because humanity doesn't have rights over the soul.  Because humanity did not make the soul.  God made the soul not humanity.  So nothing that you humans can do to me will ever do any damage to my soul is you didn't make that God did, and anyone of you who wants to deny that you need to then realize that if you do that.  You will then be denying your own religion and my attitude is if you want to do that, take your best shot.  Bring it on.

I have done exactly the same thing for 45 years.  When I wake up in the morning.  The very first thing I say is exactly the same thing I said when I was in high school and when I was in college.  And that I have said every single day of my life.  The same words.

" Thank you God for giving me another day to do the very best I can at being me."

I've said that statement every single day of my life for the last 45 years because that's all I ever want from any given day when I wake up.  Just to do the best I can at being myself.  Because I don't want to be better than anyone.  I don't want to have more money.  I don't want anything all I want to do is to do my best at being myself because I figure if I do that then I'm keeping my promise to God.  So that's all I ever try to do.

So you all can go on and keep on taking all those prescription drugs and smoking all that crap and drinking and filling your body's with all of the ugliness that you can at all crap you put into your body's and then wondering why you are getting sick.  You go ahead and do just exactly what you're doing.  And I'll continue doing what I'm doing.  And we will see who's healthier in the next 10 years.  And I will bet you my last dollar that I will be healthier than most of you.  And the reason is because I don't put anything into my body that has any major long-term damage or causes that which is why I smoke pipe tobacco not cigarette tobacco because there are no chemicals and pipe tobacco.

Just like I don't take any pain medication.  Like I don't take any kind of medication whatsoever.  Which is why I no longer believe in doctors.  But the medical community did for my wife was a relic.  But if the medical community thinks I'm going to give them another chance to work on me.  They have another thing coming.  Because of I suddenly get cancer.  I'm not going to the hospital.  I'm not going to the doctors if I get cancer.  It will be between me and God, not me and humanity.  Because God made me and God will be the one that decides what he wants me to go home.  Not humanity.  Which is why with all the different attempts that have been made to kill me throughout the years by the Catholics and Christians and the Jews that none of you have ever succeeded.  You've always failed to try to exterminate me in one way or another, because you can't because it was God who brought me back to life not any of you.  And God brought me back to life.  Because God wanted me in the world.  So even though most of you hate me go ahead and embrace your hatred because that's all you've got is your hatred.  I have God.  God stands with me.  And I stand with God and I always have an religion has nothing to do with God not anymore.

Humans have made everything they could is ugly as possible, including religion and if you don't believe I'm telling you the truth, all you have to do is turn on the TV on any given day and you will see those TV ministers asking for money asking her to lay money down before God.  When Jesus Christ told you never to do that.  And when Moses and Mohammed told you never to do that.  You don't lay money down before God.  Because God has no use for money only people to.  But you all know better.  That's why your world is so screwed up.  Because, you know so much more than I do.  That was a joke.

If you humans are wise what you will do is you will look at yourselves very carefully during these very dark days over the holiday season with millions starving to death with women being beaten and raped and murdered every second and you will then begin to wonder if this is really the best that we humans can do because that's the question you humans really need to ask.  And I said you humans because I don't even believe I'm part of the human race in a more because I don't believe the same things that you do.  I don't think like you do.  I don't pray like you do.  I don't drink and become wasteful and gluttonous like most of you are many of you I don't do those kinds of things I don't do those kinds of things to my body.  I don't do those kinds of things to my life and I don't respect those kinds of things either.

And if you think it was easy watching my darling Aileen battling alcoholism.  Then you don't know anything about me.  Because in my heart and in my soul and God knows every inch of those places.  It was my greatest honor one of the greatest honors I ever had in my life to love my darling Aileen is much as I do and to do everything I possibly could to help her to find happiness on any given day.  It was my greatest honor.  And my love for my darling Aileen has not gotten smaller said she died.  It has grown by leaps and bounds my respect for her has grown beyond anything I could ever imagine.  So just because I chastise you for the kinds of sluggard and extremely gluttonous ways that most humans have doesn't mean I don't love you.  It just means I don't like the way you're acting or are behaving because you are doing so out of your own personal choices choices.  You can blame God for.  No one is making you drink to excess no one is making you take drugs and turn your life into a toilet you are doing that all of your own free will choices.  And of those are the best choices you can make.  I feel sorry for you.

Because as I said I'm not better than anyone I never have been.  And I never will be and of I can make these choices where I am at age 63 rather healthy and my body is clean and free of all of these ugly imperfections the there's no reason why anyone else can do the same.  Because I am not better than anyone and if I can do it.  So can anyone.  Or are you Catholics and Christians forgetting what Jesus told you.  With but a mustard seed of faith all that I have done in greater show you do.  You need to remember that one line.  Because Jesus said those words for specific reason.  And if you don't pay attention to those words you'll never understand why he was able to do what he did just like Moses did some of the amazing things he did.  These people Mohammed Jesus and Moses and Buddha they did things because they understood the relationship of humanity to the Almighty and they were able to execute their understanding.  And most in the world have misconstrued almost everything they did and stood for, which is why human history has been basically flooded with the blood of millions and millions of dead children and murdered women and slaughtered people why human history has been flooded with the blood of all of the dead at humanity is killed in the name of the different religions that you all choose to fight over rather than to celebrate.

May God have mercy on your souls.  That's something I pray for every single day that God will have mercy and take pity on you for being so stupid.  Because humanity really is stupid cannot really that bright you think you are you think you're smarter than anything which is why you cover your eyes so that you don't have to learn anything you don't already know which is why there is so much close-mindedness in the world because you don't want to know anything you don't already understand because you don't want to feel stupid and yet in relation to the universe humanity is so stupid that humanity really does look like a bunch of cockroaches.  Because there is life in the universe it is so far advanced beyond humanity that all of our scientific equipment that we currently have can't even see most of the life that exists in the universe because it is so far advanced beyond anything that humanity currently is or ever has been.

Like I said during those 5 min.  I saw a lot more than what most people will ever understand.  During those 5 min. in 1968 at 12:02 AM when I died.  I saw one hell of a lot more than almost anyone will ever understand more than even I am able to express because a lot of that had nothing to do with Earth.  But you'll find out probably too late because a lot of you will not survive.  And it will be as a result of your own doing not God.  God gave you a pristine world of the best that you humans could do was to basically trashed the place.  Congratulations.  You took something that was really beautiful and you turned it into a toilet.  Knowledge of done that.  What's your next trick?  What you going to do now that you basically destroyed the planet?

Perhaps humans will evil all then get into spaceships so that they can go to other planets and make them as ugly and as ruined as Earth is.  And perhaps humanity.  Will have  evolved to a point where they do that on so many planets that the other life forms in the universe will finally get together and say that they have had enough of humanities ugliness.  It's up to you whether you clean up yourselves and clean up your lives are not don't put it with God.  It's not God's responsibility for the choices you make, you make those on your own don't blame God for those choices.  We all have free will and if you choose to drink yourself into the depths of oblivion where you choose to become dependent on prescription drugs or some other drug that's your own choice not God's.

So think about it, ladies and gentlemen.  In the United States alone every 15 min., another child or adult become so desperate that the only thought they have is to take her own life.  That's over 43,000 suicides every year.  Every 30 seconds in the United States another woman is pressed up against the wall of where she is living.  While some white Christian man is eating her to death or raping her work telling her.  Every 30 seconds.  And the TV stations could actually help in reducing that number.  The number of suicides in the number of domestic violence cases that take place, but TV stations are much more concerned with getting their ratings than they are with preventing any of the ugliness because they want to be there to photograph it taking place so they can get those ratings so they will never put those numbers on the air.  Because if they do that they won't get the ratings and they won't get their money.

So while you're sitting down to your Thanksgiving dinner.  Perhaps this year you'll be grateful that you are not one of those numbers that you are not one of the people who is considering and their life because they are so desperate.  Be thankful that you are not in one of the households were woman is being raped and beaten or murdered think about them.  Think about the children all over this world where every single minute 25 children are starving to death.  Every single minute, ladies and gentlemen 25 children are dying from starvation.  Good job humans.  Really good job.  You wanted to destroy this world you wanted to make it hell on earth.  And you've done a really good job of doing exactly that.  Because you got children dying at the rate of 25 every minute because they don't have enough food.  All because humanity became so selfish and so hateful that humanity's best thought is to use religion to kill each other rather than to save the very lives that the leaders of your different religions told you to protect.

Congratulations.  You've done a really good job of making the world ugly and literally hell on earth.  The rich have become stupid and selfish and hateful and murderous.  The wealthy become so ugly and mean and hateful that millions are dying every year as a result of the selfishness of the wealthy.  Congratulations, you've got your money you got your selfishness you've got your greed and that's all you have.  See how much money your money is worth when you have to go before God.  Because none of your money.  No matter how much you have is going to mean a damn thing when you die.  When you go before God.  It doesn't matter how much money you have or what color you are or what religion you are because God doesn't look at any of that God only looks at your soul.

In actuality I feel really sorry for most of you.  Because in a world of 7 billion people I would say that about one third of the human population is really enlightened.  What about two thirds pretty much living in the darkness of racism and hatred.  And that's a lot of people.  One third of 7 billion is a very large number.  And yet in comparison to the 7 billion the one third, is actually a small number.  So I really feel sorry for most of you.  Because you are going on with your racism and your ugliness and your hatred thinking you are doing the right thing when in actuality all you are doing is perpetuating the ugliness and those who are like me in this world the one third of humanity so to speak that actually believes in God and lives by God.  Well they will understand why I'm writing exactly what I am right now.  And to them I say, don't worry.  I'm fine.  I really am.


My plan tomorrow is to clean up the house a little and do some laundry and work some more on the e-mail and the petitions.  For all the good they do.  And then I will get up the next morning and do it all over again.  The way I have for the last 20 years.  The way I have for the last 45 years.  I am my brother's keeper.  The matter what.  Meaning I am my brothers and sisters keeper no matter what.  That was one of the reasons I was sent back.  That was one of the reasons I was given back my life.

It's Saturday night and it's 9:30 PM.  Which means people are in the throes here in the United States of enjoying their Saturday night.  A lot of people are getting drunk and so forth.  And I guess that's okay.  People will always do what they want.  I never do what I want.  I always do what's necessary.  And then of those any time (the funds or availability after I've done what is necessary then and only then do I ever consider doing what I want.  Because I always do what is necessary first.

So don't think me really hard, and what I'm writing right now because if I didn't love every single human in this world, regardless of who they are.  I would not have written what I have written above.  I would not have written this Journal entry.

I'll write later.

See Also:

The mind is like a book. Opened and much is learned. Closed and nothing is learned. (N. Maschke – 1994)

    For the record, I am pro-life . I do not support violence against, or the killing of any human being under any circumstances! In the entire 62 years of my life I have never raised my hands in anger at, or struck a single human being. And the only way that I ever deviate from that stand is that I do not believe that God has ever given any human the right to dictate to any woman how she is to arbitrate her life with the Almighty, and/or God . Therefore, I believe that all women deserve the right to choose for themselves the fate of their own bodies, pursuant to their relationship with the Almighty, and/or God . My position regarding this statement is more fully explained in my article entitled: Second Gear.


    My Statement On Religion

    For the record, I do not now, nor have I ever hated any human being on earth. I do not hate, regarding my spirituality, and spiritual beliefs, anything that the energy that is beyond this world that so many of us call, God, did make. Meaning that I do not hate the “humanity” that exists within any human being. However, God did not make the personal choices that humans make, regarding how they behave, and/or present themselves, to the world. So if a human being chooses, of their own free will to demonstrate their behavior with racism, bigotry, prejudice, and hatred for other humans, on the basis of their own free will choice as to how they define their spirituality within themselves, that is their own choice. So I do not hate any human being for being that which God did make. I hate only the choices and the manner in which humans have decided to demonstrate their behavior to one another. Whereby, as a result of those choices, war and mass murder have all too often been the primary result. I do not hate religion. However, I will never give my support to “any” religion, that has ever caused harm to, or killed, a single human being, in any way, as a result of the religion demonstrating, or manifesting it’s presence in the world. If any religion has ever harmed or killed a single human being, I respect the right of all humans to believe what they want in life. And subsequently, to follow whatever religion they choose. however, I, personally, will under no circumstances give my support for, or to, any religion, or theological belief, that has ever harmed or killed even a single human being. This is what I have dedicated my life to as a spiritualist and a pacifist here on earth. So any attempt by anyone to portray me as hating anyone is a lie. Because that is not so, as the foregoing clearly explains. 


    The mind is like a book. Opened and much is learned. Closed and nothing is learned. (N. Maschke – 1994)

    Lawsuits and Civil Rights Violations In Ohio:

    General Further Reading:


    "THEY CAME FIRST for the Communists,
    and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist.

    THEN THEY CAME for the Jews,
    and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew.

    THEN THEY CAME for the trade unionists,
    and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist.

    THEN THEY CAME for the Catholics,
    and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant.

    THEN THEY CAME for me
    and by that time no one was left to speak up."

    Pastor Martin Niemöller

    The mind is like a book. Opened and much is learned. Closed and nothing is learned. (N. Maschke – 1994)



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