Are We There Yet?

Are We There Yet?
This is the sign that is over the front door of Aileen's and my house, our home, going OUT. Meaning that when someone leaves our house they are going into the ACTUAL Mental Ward.

I've always felt that way. When it is considered how much ugliness and killing and hatred there is in the world today, it actually makes perfect sense that this sign is over the door going out of the house.

Because that's where the real mental ward is.

Sunday, October 27, 2013

The Dishonesty of Being Honest

11:56 PM:

I fully understand and realize that a lot of Christians and Catholics are probably fairly pissed off that I have the audacity to tell them what their own Bible says and shows that the only actual words of Jesus Christ are found in the passion story.  Meaning that all this.  Bullshit that the Catholics and Christians are screaming and yelling about from all the other books of the Bible are nothing but dirty filthy lies.  The Catholics know it the Christians know it as well and they know as a result of those lies that if they in fact believed themselves to be a Catholic or Christian that they are going to burn in hell for the lying they have done.  They know that and still they go ahead and lie.  Because they don't care.  And they will never care because they will never admit to the lying they are doing because they will always make excuses they will always try to justify their lying and their hatred and their races.  And that is a fact ladies and gentlemen, because you can look at every single nation in the entire world and where that nation has a Christian or Catholic oriented government that nation is doing everything they can to destroy and take away from the very people that Jesus died protecting as many of the civil liberties and rights of those people deserve.

And that is out right contempt for their own God.  Meaning Jesus Christ.  The Catholics don't want to hear this because they think that they are better than other people.  When in fact they are nothing but dirty filthy liars.  Because they are not supporting the people that Jesus gave his life protecting and you could see that happening all over the United States.  Just like the Christians are liars.  Because you can see how the people in the United States are being treated the very people Jesus died protecting.

And what's really very sad is that it was a Jew, just prior to Jesus coming into the world who tried to warn the world about all of the very same things I'm talking about now.  And the only thing that the good or the elite could do at the time was to cut this person's head off and put it on a plate.  So don't get angry at me if you are Catholic or Christian then you don't like me holding a mirror up to your face and showing you would dirty filthy liar you are because if you dare to claim that any other book of the Bible other than the passion story is the word of God you aren't dirty filthy liar.  Because by the very fact that you call yourself a Christian or Catholic you are in fact affirming with your life that you are waiting for the second coming of Jesus and you are also affirming with your life that Jesus ascended to heaven which means he is not on Earth which means that the only time he spoke as the word of God is in the passion story.  Which means every other word in the Bible was not written by God but was written by disciples or priests or ministers or pastors all of which who were human beings and not God.

So go ahead and hate me because when you do you will be hating the very thing that you worship because God made me.  Just like God made John the Baptist and John the Baptist tried to warn you, just like Joan of arc and the children of Lourdes in the children of Fatima.

You Catholics in you Christians.  Not only in the United States but everywhere in the world.  Every one of you has all one hell of a lot to answer for and you will answer what do you like it or not you will answer.  Because your own Bible tells you that you will answer whether you like it or not.  And if you don't believe in that Bible get the hell out of that religion and stop calling yourself a Catholic or Christian.  If you can't put up and shut up and live by the words that Jesus said at the sermon on the mount then you have no right whatsoever to call yourself a Catholic or Christian because you are nothing but dirty filthy liar and you know you are and I know you are and so is God.

And if you don't like me being that tough then go ahead and prove me wrong.  I dare any of you Catholics to prove me wrong.  Because you can't by the very fact that you are in the Catholic religion on the Christian religion you are affirming with that participation in that religion that you believe that Jesus ascended to heaven and not only that but your own Bible tells you.  So it says in the passion story.  Which means Jesus is not in the world.  He's not on Earth.  He's not alive because you are waiting for the second coming of Christ which means that every single word in your Bible other than the passion story are not the words of Jesus Christ and are not the words of God they are the words of human beings and yet you Catholics and Christians are using all those other books of the Bible to justify your racism your bigotry your prejudice your violence your killing your murder and your mistreatment of the very people that Jesus dedicated his life to protecting and you think you're going to get away with it.  That's what's really sad.  Because you're not if you are Catholic or Christian you know you are not going to get away with it.  And you reality you in your children in your family going to burn in hell because that's what your own Bible says.

Or are you Catholics and Christians for getting what Jesus said at the sermon on the mount?  That Jesus said that which you do to the least of me will in fact be done to you?  And every religious scholar I've ever talked to for the last 50 years has told me the same thing that those words mean specifically this.

That which you do to the least of all that God has made God will do to you.  The very first religious person who told me that was a Catholic priest.  And hundreds of Catholic priests have told me that exact same thing ever since.  So don't lie to me.  You Catholics and Christians don't you dare you can lie to anyone you want, but don't you dare lie to me because I won't put up with it.  I've had it.  I'm a Sephardic Jew and you could trace their heritage of the Sephardic Jews all away back to the very same tribe that Jesus came from.  Your own religion teaches you that was a Jew John the Baptist to tried to warn you about what was happening in the best that you complete selfish ugly people could do at that time was to cut his head off and put it on a plate.

So the best that you Catholics and Christians can do is to laugh at me and call me stupid.  We will see who's laughing.  Because if you are in a Catholic and Christian religions and you are not following the passion story.  Then you are filthy dirty liar and you are going to burn in hell because that's exactly what your own religion and Bible teaches you.

You Lord yourselves around the planet like you are better than everyone else.  When you are not you praise yourselves without good you are using all of the other books of the Bible, claiming that the other books of the word of God.  When in fact they are not because the only time your God ever spoke was during the passion story and when he was crucified.  He stopped speaking, because all the other books of the Bible are nothing but dissertations and opinions of the teachings of Jesus Christ.  They are not the word of God and not one of you Catholics anywhere in this world.  There is not one of you Catholics anywhere on the planet earth who can prove to me that any other book of the Bible is the word of God because it is not because he was crucified.  And if you claim is the word of God.  Then you have to disavow your own position of claiming to be waiting for the second coming of Christ and you would also have to disavow your position claiming in fact that Jesus ascended to heaven which it says in the passion story.

So you will be consistent with you.  Like it or not you will put away all of your lying.  What do you like it or not you will put up and shut up and realize that disrespect you are showing to the very people he died for what you do it because I tell you to war with the you do it because you see the face of God.  You will put up and shut up and stop your ugly behavior and with you do it now or what you do it in about 50 or 60 years when the environment become so foul that a third of you.  Just drop dad doesn't matter.  You will put up and you will shut up and you will stop your lying.

And if you think that my words are demonstration of hatred and you are so stupid that you don't even deserve to the reading this article because of I didn't care about you I would not write these words.

You praise yourselves you look in the mirror with your vanity you look in the mirror like you are better than others.  You gather money around yourselves as if you are of love other people.  When you are not above anything you have turned your back on the Meek.  And you know you have because when you look around the United States every one of you ugly states in this country.  There's not a single state in this country.  With this being a so-called Christian oriented nation.  There is not one single state in this entire country that treats the Meek with any kind of respect.  You Catholics and Christians show complete contempt and hatred for every single type of person Jesus died for.  And the evidence is everywhere.  It how you treat the mentally ill in how you treat women in how you treat the disenfranchised.  How you treat the disease and the disabled on the mentally ill and women and children.  It's everywhere.

And you cling to your money.  Like you are that are then others.  When in the very last seconds of life.  You are better than no one because when you are standing before God.  None of your money and none of your lying matters at that point because God doesn't care about your words.  God cares about what the hell is in your soul and of all you done is use other books of the Bible which are not the word of God to justify your hatred and your racism and bigotry.  You will be judged on that basis because that's what your own religion says.  And if you like it and change your damn Bible and go ahead and act like the King at the tower of Babel.  And see what happens.

All my life I've listened all of your lying and all of your cunning ways we've you trying to Lord yourselves over like you are better than other people.  When you are that are then no one you have changed your governments you have changed your religions you have changed the Bible you have lied, and competed with each other on the basis of social Darwinism when you claim has religious people not to believe in Darwin unless it's convenient another why that's all you ever do you Catholics do nothing but lie you Christians do nothing but lie the amount of you Catholics and Christians in this world the don't lie is perhaps maybe 1% of all the people who are Catholic and Christian in the world the rest of you are liars.  And you know it.

Use it.  Make money off of God.  When Jesus went into the temple and turned over the tables of the money lenders because he was repulsed by money being laid down before God and yet you Catholics and Christians make money off of God showing your disrespect for God and yet you lie about that as well.  You.  Although even know how to tell the truth anymore.  Because you been lying for so long.  And you want me.  You can take your side.  And all of this.  Why should I take your side in all of this would John the Baptist did not.  Joan of arc did not the children of Loudes did not the children of Fatima did not.  Martin Luther did not.  All through history, all you proud Christians and Catholics are lying to yourselves lying to your children lying to each other lying to the world about how all these books in the Bible are the word of God.  When they are not.  They are not the word of God and you can't prove they are and I can prove they are not.

And I have proved they are not because by the very aspect of your own behavior in your subscription to your religion you are affirming with that subscription that you believe in the passion story and if you believe that Jesus ascended to heaven when he was crucified, which means he's not in the world, because you are all as Catholics and Christians waiting for the second coming.  Meaning you are waiting for Jesus to come back to the world which means that you are in fact by saying that that you are admitting he is not in the world which means he is not speaking in the world and that all of these other books of the Bible are nothing but words by human beings who were his disciples.

And being a disciple is not being God and you can't prove to me that it is.  There's no proof anywhere in the Bible that any of the disciples were God.  Not one single word.  And I dare any of you Catholics are Christians to prove otherwise.

You all had better wise up.  You have dirtied this world.  You have room would do business in this world you are lying and cheating each other every day you are spreading bigotry in racism and prejudice you are carrying your culture some part with your hatred for each other and for what so that you can claim you are better than each other.  And what is that going to mean in the last seconds of life?  Because in those last seconds of life, none of you are better than anyone else.  You're all the same.  Your soul goes before the creator whether that is energy whether it is Buddha whether it is Allah whether it is Moses, whether it's Jesus or God.  It doesn't matter in those last seconds of life all of your dirty filthy money and all of your lying isn't going to mean anything.  Because at that moment you are not going to be looked at in terms of how much money you have or who you think you are in the world because in those last seconds of life.  Your soul is what is going to be judged because the energy inside of you is going to be part of all that energy that you all call God.

So how you then a get out of it then?  How even a lie your way out of it then?

And yet you continue your lying telling your children how much better you are than other people.  When in reality you are better than no one you of major sales dirty and unclean to each other.  And you know that's true.  You just don't have the guts to admit it.  You will admit to what I'm saying whether you like it or not and you will hate me for what I'm saying.  Just like you hated Joan of arc and John the Baptist the children of Lourdes and the children of Fatima and Martin Luther and all a lot of other people as well.

So go ahead and embrace your hatred because that's all you've got.  You Catholics you filthy dirty liars in 1962 you dirty Catholics chase to me with clubs and knives trying to kill me.  You made me partially crippled all of my life my left leg to this very day doesn't work completely well.  Because of what you did to me in 1962 and you have never said you were sorry.  Just like none of you Catholics have ever said you were sorry for what the Catholic church did to my mother and thousands of other women in 1950 where you murdered them in cold blood because she wanted their children.  You cut them open and then threw the bodies away.

And that which you have done to the least of me will be done to you as Jesus your Lord and Savior has said meaning that which you have done to the least of all that God has made God will do to you.

Which means every single dirty racist thought every selfish asinine thought and action you have ever committed in your life will be done to you.  When you go before the old man or when you go before the creator or that energy.  So go ahead and lie your way out of that one.

And don't think I'm better than any view because I'm not.  I'm the least of all that God ever made.  I have always said that in that is true.  I and the least of all that God ever created in this world.  I am nothing but aspect of dust on a very dirty beach.  That's all I am.  That is all I have ever been that is all I will ever be said don't make any claims about me making myself out better because I have never made myself out as if I were better than anyone never and anyone who is ever known me knows that's true so don't lie about me and you can get away with it because you won't because I more lies you tell your own religion.  This is going to certify the longer you are going to burden you have all because that's exactly what your own religion teaches you and if you can't put up and shut up and live by what your own religion teaches you then you need to get halon of that religion and stop lying.

Either that or you need to go ahead and change the Bible so that the Bible will say exactly what you wanted to say but then of you do that your own religion teaches you that the last time you stupid morons tried that at the tower of Babel that the creator had a very specific answer.  And that answer wasn't very good.  And you miss understood that as well.

You are all so proud of the lying.  You are doing and all the money you are grabbing after as if you are better than everyone else, which is the biggest lie of all.

And as I said don't you dare think that what I'm saying is an expression of hatred.  Because if you do that.  You are so stupid that you do not even deserve to read this Journal entry because what I'm saying is absolutely born right out of all of the love and respect I have for humanity.  You just don't understand that love just the way you didn't understand John the Baptist.  Just like you didn't understand anyone who came forward to try to warn you about what you were doing because you were too consumed with your money and your arrogance in your ego to even care understand that what you are doing is shaming yourself but for your own God.

And don't think that I'm some religious zealot because I certainly am not.  I am a pacifist.  I will never associate with, nor will I ever support your murderous Christian or Catholic religions your legacy of blood and mass murder or are you forgetting the Crusades and the Spanish Inquisition when you're religious frenzy was so out of control that you murdered millions.  How about burning times when you nasty dirty filthy lying Catholic doctors when after the women who were midwives and you slaughtered them by the millions you did so much killing of women during the burning times that rivers of blood were seen flowing through the streets of Europe.  And you call yourself pro-life.  What a joke.

The book of Saul is not the word of God no matter how much you want it to be so it is not.  It was written by a disciple I human being you cannot prove that the book of Saul was written by Jesus.  Because if you do then you will have to disavow your faith in the passion story where you believe firmly as the Catholic and Christian that Jesus was crucified and then ascended to heaven and you also have to deny that you are in fact waiting for the second coming of Christ.  Because if you say that the book of Saul is the word of God then you're saying that Jesus is actually speaking in the book of Saul which means that he could not have ascended to heaven and which means that he could not in fact be coming back because he's already are talking in the book of Saul when that's not true.

Get right with your lying.  You told so many lies you can't even remember what is the truth and what is a lie anymore.  You have lied for so long and cheated each other for so long.  You don't even have any kind of memory of how to tell the truth.  Or are we forgetting about Diogenes?  And how you walked the streets searching for an honest man?

So go ahead and give me any way you want and you will be for the most part wrong.  But like I said don't you dare lied to me about your religion.  Don't you dare call yourself a Catholic or Christian if you want willing to put up and shut up and live by what Passion story says.  If you are not willing to live and die by what he said at the sermon on the mount you are not a Catholic or Christian your of filthy dirty liars.  And you know it and so to lie and more importantly so does your own God.

You have ruined this world.  You have destroyed most of the animal species in this world you have polluted the air you have destroyed your economic system to the point where doing business in the world is practically impossible you are spreading racism and bigotry and lying every single day.  And you are not willing to be good human beings and good neighbors to each other.  When your own Lord and Savior Jesus Christ told you at the sermon on the mount love thy brother as thyself.  But you don't do that.  The number of disenfranchised.  And the number of poor people in this world the number of the Meek who are in fact being mistreated in this world clearly show that you are long on lying and short on honesty.  So you will put up and shut up with you.  Like it or not you will stop clawing around on this rock like you are rats on a sinking ship.  Because that's exactly how you're acting you're acting like will rats running around on a sinking ship screaming and yelling how you are better than each other.  When you are that are then nothing.  Because in those last seconds of life.  There is none of your religious bull.  And those last seconds of life your religion and all your books in the Bible don't mean that damn thing.  Because in those last seconds of life it's your soul or that energy inside of you and the energy that is beyond this world that whether you are a Muslim, a Jew, a Catholic or Christian or a Wiccan or anything else that energy that is inside of you is all that you have that faces that other energy and becomes part of that energy you are creator whether you call of Allah or Buddha or Moses or Jesus or God.  It doesn't matter.  So go ahead and lie.  Keep up your lying.  Because you are destroying yourselves with your dishonesty and your lying in your violence in your killing.

But don't believe me.  Most of you think that I am making myself out better when that's not true.  I have never aspired to be anything more than what I am and what I have always been.  Nothing but a speck of dust.  That's all I am.  I am a speck of dust and nothing more.  But even integrated stand the whole of God can be found.  That's what you are Bible says.  That's what the Koran says that is what the Old Testament of the Jews.  The Torah says.  So go ahead and hate me.  Please do.  Say anything you want about me and you'll be wrong.

You dirty Catholics tried to murder me in 1962 and you murdered my mother.  And not one of you has come forward to say you're sorry.  And what does that say about you in your religion?  What is that say about you and the compassion that Jesus tried to teach you?

You go on TV and you watch these people on TV representing your religion is laying money down before God.  When Jesus did not respect money.  And when God does not even need money.  It's you people who claimed that need money so badly.  Not God.  So you allow yourselves to watch always great TV shows we're making money off of God.  And you think that's been a lie your way into heaven?  If you think that you deserve exactly what you're going to get.

Of all the things I learned watching my darling Aileen die.  The one thing I learned the best was out temporary are lives are.  How every single second.  We are missing opportunities to demonstrate that like that is inside of us regardless of whether we are agnostic, atheist we can pay give Jewish Muslim Catholic Christian.  It doesn't matter every day.  We have opportunities to shine that light inside of us out word and most of you don't even do it because you are to damn busy you are too damn greedy you are lying to yourselves lying to your children.  You are cheating and stealing from each other and acting like nothing more.  Like I said that rats on a sinking ship.  You're acting like maggots climbing around on a pile of garbage.  Because you are lying and you are saying that the the other books of the Bible are the word of God.  When you don't have any proof whatsoever that they are you at every bit of proof showing you they are not.  Those books were written as nothing more than opinions of what Jesus said and stood for they were written by his disciples which means they were written by human beings not the voice of God.  And if you say that's not true then you immediately affirm your position logically speaking that you don't believe in him.  I sending to have an and if you don't believe that he coming back to the world because you are dead saying logically that he's already in the world any speaking to everyone else in the world and if these disciples did not write these books on the relative human beings.  But that they were actually unconscious when they wrote these books because Jesus was talking through them and you have no proof that that's true.

Of all the gifts that God gave me when I was born the one gift that he gave me that most of you have used and I'm used all my life that make money off of is the one thing I have always felt inside of my soul was the most important gift that God ever gave to me.  My ability to analyze anything.

As I said I'm not very good at arithmetic.  I actually have to use a calculator a lot of times to count change.  But that's arithmetic.  At arithmetic is structure and the formulae.  Mathematics is the language and the form.  And would language and form with my ability to analyze I'm extremely good.  With structure the formulae, like I said, I have trouble counting change.  So go ahead and try to prove me wrong.  Because when you duly you'll be grooving yourselves wrong and you'll be seeing yourselves for what you are in the mirror of your own souls you'll be seeing exactly what you are and what you have created what you have done to yourselves what you have done to this world and what you are doing to our children and our future and you are not good know like what you have done and it's your own fault not mine.  Not God's you're the one who made these choices to do what you did this world.  Not God so don't blame God for the way the world is your the one to made these choices to make the world the way it is.

So you will you put up and shut up as human beings and you will try to make this world better or you will find within about 50 or 60 years that about a third of you are just simply going to drop dead and and by the middle of next century it will be two thirds of you that will be dropping dead.  So that by the end of next century only about a third of you will be left in this world because you will have polluted this world.  So badly and you will live destroyed so many animal species that the entire balance of life on the planet will have been so out of balance.  But the planet will have to readjust and as one of the life forms on this planet, you better wise up.  Because of the planet needs to shake off this life on this world in order to right itself it will do that in a heartbeat.  Which means all of you humans all of us humans don't even need to be around in order for the planet to fix itself.

So you will wise up and I know that's true.  I know it's true better than almost any of you and you will never admit to that either.  Because you can't you get too much money and your ego is invested in almost everything you do.  You can't even get away from your ego every time you turn around you're looking in the mirror is making yourselves out better than other people.  I only have two mirrors in my home.  Of course I have a hand mirror in case I need to look at my teachers something.  But other than that I only have two mirrors in my home, and neither one of them are in the bathroom.  Because I don't Lord myself over anyone.  Because I am better than nothing.  I have never aspired to be an nor will I ever be.  I am a speck of dust and if you can except that that you don't even know anything about me.  I am a speck of dust.  That's all I a.m.  But in every one of your religious documents in this world.  Regardless, what religion you are, it says very clearly that even in a grain of sand the whole of the creator can be found.

So go ahead and hate me, please do.  Because when you hate me you will end up hating yourselves then see how much laughter you can muster to laugh at me.

Any of you think I'm writing this on my behalf.  Then again, you are too stupid to be reading this Journal article, because that's not why I'm writing it I'm writing this Journal article right now because somebody needs to stand up and tell you how does honest and how ugly you have made yourselves out to be.  And I don't mean physically ugly because I've never seen a human being in this world.  The matter who they are, no matter how rich or poor regardless of any of you are earthly criteria I have never seen a single human being in my life who was ugly.  Behavior is another story.  I've seen lots of ugly behavior, but never and ugly human being.

So go ahead Leidy yourselves keep on doing it is longer you can because you're running out of time.  You're running out of time.  You're running out of resources.  You're running out of air.  You're running out of money.  You're running out of everything and a best that you can do is to turn into a pile of maggots climbing around on garbage.  That's the best you can do.  Telling more lies lying to each other.

I was talking with someone this morning and they were independent business person here in Cleveland and I told him I said the smart people in business are looking at the poor people right now who are losing their homes and have virtually no money and they are looking at those people and they are extending their products and services to those people not simply and only on the basis of charity.  But they are doing so on the basis that those people will eventually be future customers.  It's good business.  It's not just being a good Christian or good Jew or a good Muslim or a good Catholic.  It's good business.  Because the dating your business starts taking for granted the customers you have.  That's the day your business begins to fail.

And why should I have to tell you all about these things.  Many of you are far smarter than I am.  Many of you have all these degrees and lots of schooling far more than what I have ever gained in my life.  So why do I have to tell you about these things that you should already know?  And don't put any religious significance on my life.  Because that's not true.  I did die for 5 min. in 1968 and none of you have ever wanted to believe even that happened.  But you will.  Whether you like it or not you will and it will probably be after I am no longer in the world.  And don't think I'm anything special because I'm not.  I never have been.  I never aspired to be anything special.  My own family taught me that I wasn't special.  The Jews here in Cleveland taught me that I was anything but special.  They've hated me all my life, because my adoptive mother was Again my adoptive father was Jewish.  Because in 1960 do.  It wasn't just the Catholics who were chasing me with clubs and knives.  In 1962 it was the Jews and the Catholics both of whom were chasing me in trying to murder me in 1962.

And when my face had that pavement and I slid on my face on the right side of my face for that 12 feet and a rebuilt my face the only thing that the Jews in my family could do was to call me damaged goods.  So why change now?  You've acted like a bunch of bastards hating me all my life.  So why the hell would you change now?  Why the hell would you ever even admit to what you did to my mother in 1950 because you're not going to you hate me so much.  You are never going to say you're sorry for what you did to my mother.  You're never going to say you are sorry for what you did to the thousands of other women in 1950, because you don't have the courage you don't have the honesty you don't have the moral stamina.

So I know that I will die.  And when I do I will die without any of you coming forward to say you're sorry for what you did to my mother in 1950 you will never say you are sorry you will never admit to what you did.  So I will die without ever having any kind of compassion shown to me for what you did to my mother because all you could do is hate me just like the people of Texas.

My family and my uncle gave and generated millions of dollars for the people in Texas and the only way that those ugly Christians in Texas could treat me was that they threaten to have mean murdered if I stayed in their state.  That's how they said thank you to my uncle and to the Maschke family for all the effort and the money we generated for the state of Texas the way they said thank you is that they wanted to have me killed.

No problem.  You're the ones who made this world ugly and you are the ones who painted yourselves into this corner.  See how well you can get out.  Because it is up to you whether you clean this world upper not.  Not God.  So don't blame God for the way the world is your the ones who made this place into a pile of garbage not God.  The creator or that energy gave humans the pristine world and the best that you idiots here in the world could do was to destroy almost every aspect of this world and you have.  You killed both of the animal species in the world.  You destroyed your economic system you've made the aerosol follow debris that people are getting sick you haven't affected the ground with enough carcinogens and radioactivity that people are dropping dead from cancer all over the planet and still you refuse to admit to what you have done.

But like I said you will admit it.  Whether you like it or not you will admit it.  And you won't like what you see.  Because you will get to that point where you will see yourself in the mirror and when you do you're knocking to be saying the physical aspect of yourselves.  You're going to be seeing everything that's inside of you and when you see that you are going to see exactly how ugly you have made yourselves out to be.  And nothing you could say will ever change that.

So go ahead Leidy yourselves about it being a happy holiday season because that is just another lie that you are going to perpetrate against each other and against yourselves, because it's not going to be a happy holiday season.  There are millions of people in the United States and even millions more throughout the entire world who don't have any jobs don't have hardly any money while you wealthier getting everything you want making yourselves out to be better than other people.  When all your damn money while he had damn thing in those last seconds of life.  So you rush around in this world like you are better than everyone else grabbing as much money as you can lying to each other thinking you are actually going to be better than everyone else when you're not.

You need to go back to one little point in the Old Testament.  When Noah and his family were on the ark and they were beginning to move away from shore because the waters had risen so much.  And Noah and his family were looking out the window at the people left behind on the shore and they were screaming and begging for know what to come back and pick them up.  Even his wife asked him to go back and pick them up.  And all Noah did was to close the window.

If you want understand me and what I'm saying to you right now.  Then you need to understand that one single action.  Because I'm telling you right here and now you will either start being honest with each other and stop all of your violence in your hatred or your violence in your hatred will destroy you.  It will destroy your government's it will destroy your countries it will destroy your religions it will destroy your families it will destroy every single thing you have.  And then you have nothing left and you will be exactly what I said a bunch of maggots climbing around on a pile of garbage.

It did not have to happen this way.  You have had choices.  For thousands of years you have had choices.  All the way back to the days of Plato and Socrates and Aristotle.  All the way back you up bad choices and every time you were confronted with choices you did exactly the same thing.  You grabbed as much as you could for yourself and said to hell with the other people.  And it's exactly what you have done just like what you are doing now.

No problem.  You're not going to make dirty my soul.  Because I haven't taken part in the same kind of lying that you have done.  I've never struck a single human being in my entire life.  I've never acted out in violence against any human being in this world.  Not once.  So go ahead, you think you're so much better than other people keep on thinking that and see how much you are able to hold on to that in those last seconds of life, because you won't be able to.  None of all of your crap that you have created in your world will mean anything at that point.

I promise all of you in this world.  One thing.  Just like I promised my darling Aileen.  And I'm promising all of you in this world the same thing.  I never under any circumstances.  Step away from my love for my devotion of my darling Aileen, no matter what I have never stepped away from her and I never will.  And that goes for every one of you in this world as well.  I will never turn my back on you.  I will never step away from you.  I will never stop trying to be a friend to all of you whenever I can.  But that doesn't mean I'm going to be easy it doesn't mean I would put up with your lying, because I won't.  But I will never step away from you and I never have whether you have seen that are not doesn't make any difference.  Because I never have stepped away from you.  Not once.

And I never will.

What's really sad is that most of the people.  The world won't even read this Journal article because in their minds.  I'm just not them Porton enough for them to even read what I'm writing.  And the ones who will read what I'm writing probably are the ones who don't really need to read what I'm writing because they already understand everything I'm saying.  It's the rest of you who will not even think enough of me to even read what I have written.  Which is highly typical.  I've seen that kind of ugly behavior and disregard all of my life.

People have hated me because I was disabled.  People have hated me because I have dealt with mental illness most of my life.  People have hated me because I am a Jew.  People have hated me because of how my father was basically a gangster.  People of hated me because my father was involved in the entertainment industry.  People have hated me for all sorts of reasons.  People even hated me because I have a good brain.  There were always excuses and reasons for people to hate me.  That's the typical form of behavior.  I was always confronted with in my life.  Were all of you made me out.  Like I was making myself out better when I have never done that.  All my life for over 50 years I have always said the same thing.  I am nothing but a speck of dust.  That's all I am your the ones that make me out like I'm making myself better.  Not me.  I never said those words.  You're the ones who tried to put those words in my mouth and you failed every time you did.

There's a reason why when people come on to this property where I live and come into my home that they feel that the energy inside this house and on this property is different.  There is a reason for that.  And if I have to explain it to you.  You will never understand.  It's a very much like that statement in the Harry Potter movie.  If you need to ask you will never know if you know you will never need to ask.

So go ahead laugh at me look at me any way you want it doesn't matter because the more time and energy you do that or spend on doing that the less time and energy you will spend on fixing your sales and if you don't fix yourselves.  You will get to those last seconds in life and you'll be clinging to your money and your self-important's and a nose last seconds of life when you are about to step through all of your money and all of your ego won't even matter anymore.  Because language is something we created not God.

Like I said go ahead and laugh at me.  Please do.  I expect that.  But there are people I meet every single day.  And when our eyes meet.  It's really remarkable.  Because no matter what we say to each other.  When our eyes meet, we just know.  I met a really amazing man today and his wife at the bus stop that I was walking by and you really understood it was great.  It was absolutely spectacular because I could actually feel the energy all around.  Right where we were.  It was just incredible you could see it in his eyes.  It was great.  And all you have to do is look.  It's not really rocket science all you have to do is lock.  You just have to use your eyes.  It's right in front of you.

I told a friend of mine tonight that I won't even take public transportation anymore.  I don't trust public transportation I don't trust cars anymore.  In my neighborhood of five-year-old little boy was just killed right near a school and the driver did not stop and actually fled the scene.  It's not more than half a mile from where I'm living and I've walked by that's cool many times.  And that five-year-old child is now dead.

The police are searching everywhere for the driver.  But whether that driver comes forward on their own or whether the police finds them doesn't matter.  They will be found.  And then in accordance with the laws that we humans have.  They will be tried for their crimes.  And all of that will do nothing to help that mother.  All that will do nothing.

It's just like I've told you before.  When you look at Liam Neeson and you look at his wife Miranda Richardson when she slammed into that tree on that ski slope.  It took Liam Neeson almost 3 years before he began to make films again.  But he did.  Then let's think about someone else.  Let's think about John Travolta.  When John Travolta's son overdosed and took his own life.  John has not made another movie since.

That's perfectly understandable.  Because John is like any other father.  He loved his son.  But what's more important is that John Travolta spent decades giving us some of them best entertainment using his skill and his brains to make us laugh to make us think.  My question is simple.  If we were willing to stand by the side of Annette Funicello and Richard Pryor when they were dying in facing all of these horrible aspects of their lives where they were dying if we were willing to stand by their side.  Why are we not willing to do the same for John Travolta?  Doesn't he deserve the same kind of support and love?  Is he not important?  He's not stupid.  He's a really amazingly intelligent man.  He's a brilliant human being.  He's a writer.  He also was a pilot.  He's a very wonderfully intelligent person he is a gift to this world.  Like almost every other human being is.  So why are we not standing by his side?

And that's only one example, ladies and gentlemen I could give you millions of examples were we are failing each other that I've seen all my life that I've been talking about for the last 45 years and the best that most of you could do was to laugh at me or do threatened to kill me.

So you go ahead and think about me.  Anyway you want.  To find me in any way you think that will fit.  And for the most part you'll be wrong.  Because I'm nothing that hardly any of you can understand because like I said I'm nothing but a speck of dust.  And those of you who understand me will understand exactly what I'm saying when I say that.  But most of you won't.  You'll attach some kind of arrogance or something else to it.  When in fact that's not the case.  I'm not the only one who died and came back.  I just came back differently.  And I am not going to nor can I adequately in words explain to what happened.  And that doesn't make me better than anyone and it doesn't make me special not by any means.  It never has.  All it has done is make me different.  And that's all.  You're the ones that put all these other associations to it.  Not me.  But yet you blame me is divine the one putting all these associations do it.  When that is not the case.  I never have.

My darling Aileen understood.  She was one of the few that ever did.  My daughter is now beginning to understand.  People who know me and who have known me in this neighborhood for the last 20 years are also understanding as well.  And everybody when they walk on this property are into this home feels that energy and hardly any of them can explain it.  But the ones who do understand never have to say a word because they understand.  If you have to ask you will never know.  If you know you will never have to ask.  It's just that simple.

Most of you can't even believe that I've actually got a manuscript in the next room in my dresser.  That's 350 pages long that I wrote in one month where I was actually offered almost $1 million, or that manuscript most of you can't even believe that.  And hardly anyone that I know physically in the world ever doesn't believe that until I pull it out.  And then when they see that I actually did it.  And then they see some of the notes I have where I was offered over $900,000 or that manuscript most of them pretty much feel the same way that I was stupid for not taking that money and yet there are others who understand exactly why.

So go ahead and make me out however you want.  Think of me in any way you think that will fit but it's not me.  You have to worry about I'm a pacifist.  I live by the law of never harming anyone that has been my life for over 50 years.  And to my dying breath.  I will remain the same.  Because I am a pacifist.  But that doesn't mean I'm week and it doesn't mean I'm a pansy.  I'm just as dedicated as any of our really it men and women in the military or our wonderful police all visitors to give my life at any second and to die at any given moment to protect my fellow Americans or my fellow world citizens and to defend and protect the Constitution.  The only difference is I won't use a gun.  I won't use a weapon.  I will lay my life down to protect the Constitution and to protect my fellow Americans.  And this nation.  I will die to do so.  That's the difference.

And like I said most of what I'm writing right now is going to fall on deaf ears.  Because most of you won't even understand what I'm saying because you're either to selfish or self-involved to the point where you won't even be able to comprehend anything I'm saying right now.  Which is okay.  It's the typical form of behavior.  I have always been confronted with.  So why let I be surprised now?  Why would any of you change.  After all these years.  When you treated me like crap.  My entire life?  Why would any of you come forward now and say you are sorry for what happened them.  I'm mother when the Catholics have never once even admitted it took place?

You need to wake up and you need to stop lying to yourselves into each other.  Because if you don't you're going to destroy everything and then you will have nothing.  And you won't be able to blame God and you won't be able to blame each other.  Because that's something that's rather interesting about death.  It doesn't discriminate.  And as I told you in those last seconds of life.  You can take all your religion and all of your money and throw right out the window.  It's not going to matter a hill of beans.  All that's going on matter is what's inside of you that you call your soul.  That's all is going to matter.  And when you call it your solar energy.  The bottom line is still the same.

If I have any hopes with my Creator God.  My hope would be that someone will take what I am saying now and put it to good use.  That's my hope.

Pay attention.  Stop lying stop centering your lives in your ego in your dirty money because you're running out of time whether you like it or not you're running out of time.

It's your karma….  Not mine….

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