Are We There Yet?

Are We There Yet?
This is the sign that is over the front door of Aileen's and my house, our home, going OUT. Meaning that when someone leaves our house they are going into the ACTUAL Mental Ward.

I've always felt that way. When it is considered how much ugliness and killing and hatred there is in the world today, it actually makes perfect sense that this sign is over the door going out of the house.

Because that's where the real mental ward is.

Monday, October 28, 2013

Official: 3 children die in Bronx fire after candle lit

Official: 3 children die in Bronx fire after candle lit 

12:30 PM:

Now this is just one of a number of stories that of course are extremely tragic.  Every winter there are stories of people with hardly any money, who are trying to get along and trying to pay their bills to the best of their ability.  The people who have money and secured jobs are generally not really very aware of these conditions unless they see them in the news.  In my neighborhood I am very aware of these situations.  As I've explained many times, in my neighborhood the people are for the most part quite poor.  In my neighborhood.  There are a number of senior citizens who are forced to eat dog food in order to be able to pay for their prescriptions.  In my neighborhood there is a lot of drug abuse and alcoholism.  There is a lot of teenage motherhood.  Teenage girls who are 16 years old and have two children.  Within five blocks of my house in any direction.  There are at least 50 girls who are 16 years old and have two children.  In my neighborhood.  There are a number of Street gangs.  There are deserted buildings that have been condemned and have not been torn down.  And not more than two streets away from my house the people in my neighborhood are like me.  If we don't hear gunshots going off.  At least once every couple of weeks.  We wonder if something is wrong.

These are realities, ladies and gentlemen.  Whether any of us likes it or not.  So when I see a very tragic story like this.  I can't help but wonder how the members of the United States Congress who are Republicans and tea party members feel about having kept their salaries while putting almost more than 1 million people in the United States out of work and not having any money whatsoever to pay their bills or to take care of their utilities.  I wonder how they feel.  I wonder if a tragic story like this even bothers the Republican Party or the tea party.  Or if in fact they are cheering because they are seeing the poor suffer as much as possible while the tea party members of Congress and the Republican Party members of Congress kept their salaries.

And they did so while they are legally defined as, our employees.  Meaning we the people of these United States are legally defined by constitutional law, as the employers of the members of Congress.  Yet it was the members of Congress, the Republican Party and the tea party, as our employees, while taking away our money, as their employers, telling us that they were trying to save the country money.  But as they were trying to say the country money they kept their extremely I and salaries and decided that the way to save money was by keeping their money but taking away money from us.

So I can't help but wonder, ladies and gentlemen if this tragedy might not have had something to do with the government shutdown.  And if it in fact did.  Then I wonder exactly how these so-called good Christians of the Republican Party and tea party feel keeping their money and taking money away from the poorest people in this country and mistreating the poor which this is a very clear example of.  When in fact the very God they claim to worship, their Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, was crucified on the cross for protecting.  Not only the poor.  But the disenfranchised, the downtrodden, the diseased, the disabled, the mentally ill, and women and children.

Yet it is all of these type of people.  The very people that the Catholic and Christian Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ was crucified on the cross for protecting.  That in the United States, the extremely religious right-wing Christian extremists and Catholic extremists claim to worship in Jesus Christ.  But as I've said.  How can any of these so-called Christians who are extremists like the Republican Party and the tea party call themselves good Christians and say that they actually love and worship Jesus Christ, when they cannot even show respect or compassion for the very type of people that Jesus died on the cross protecting?

So, it is for this very reason, ladies and gentlemen that I am asking all like-minded American citizens to join with me in calling upon the Department of Justice to investigate fully the actions in the activities and the associations of the Republican Party, the tea party, and the right-wing Christian extremists; on the basis of possible seditious behavior, tantamount to, insurrection against United States government and the American people.

Furthermore, I am asking all like-minded Americans to join with me in boycotting any and all companies owned and operated by, or that support, the Republican Party, the tea party, and the right-wing Christian extremists.  Do not do business with any of these companies, as much as possible.  Do not give them any more of your money.  And since Republican Party and the tea party as a result of their obstructionism, have turned their backs on us.  It is time that we the people of these United States stand together as one nation, indivisible with liberty and justice for all.  To protect the Constitution and to secure our rights and liberties.

And the best way that we can do that is to not give those companies that are either owned by or operated by, or that are supportive of the Republican Party and the tea party and the right-wing Christian extremists agenda, any more money.

Since they are going to take as much money away from us as possible.  Then we need not only to protect our money.  Not only for our children, but for ourselves.  And since Republican Party and the tea party don't really care about our safety.  We need to stand together as one nation, and to each other knowing that we are doing so to protect that Constitution and to be what we are supposed to be, fellow Americans.

This poor family involved in this tragedy is a much more significant loss then you might realize.  Not that one death matters.  Then more.  Because it doesn't but it is a very significant tragedy from the standpoint that it signals or it should signal to all of us that at certain times of the season all year conditions.  Not only here in the United States but around the world become a great deal more challenging.  So much so that some people and their families die.

As I said I am a Sephardic Jew.  And I am proud that I am a Jew.  I am honored that I am associated and that my blood is that of a Jew.  At the same time I don't really support religion because I don't support the violence that religion has supported and promoted.  But the core of the Jewish faith.  Just like the core of the wonderful Muslim faith and there is a tremendous beauty I mean all real beauty to the Catholic and Christian religions to their faiths.

So when you scrape away all the man-made religion and you get to the core of the faith you really see how very similar all of them are.  That's why I have always said, I have friends all over this world who I've met through e-mail or in my travels here in this country.  People of every single religion or belief system you might have.  The list would be very long if I tried to remember every single person of different religions I had met.  Well not every person.  But all the different types of religion.

And as I've always said we all referred to each other as mothers and sisters in faith.  That's all.  No hype.  No baloney.  Just brothers and sisters in faith.  Brothers and sisters of this human race who believe in their hearts that when they position their minds and their souls to believe in a certain way that it's not so much that there faith goes off in a different direction.  As much as a parallel direction.  And that's what I've really found.  And I'll tell you why.

This is something I have never written down in any journal.  And I have never told anyone this except for my darling Aileen.  Or perhaps a few others.  But I can definitely say.  Not hardly very many people have ever heard what I'm about to tell you.

When I got the southern Arizona school in 1966 basically escaping from the Maschke household.  And I don't mean I physically had to escape.  I mean that psychologically it 16 I knew I just didn't want to be associated with or around the kind of stuff that was really part of what my parents were all about.  Of course my mother and I did not get along.  And I think that's of course putting it mildly.  My old joke is the same thing.  I was eight years old.  She had been pretty much in one way or another beating the living crap out of me about every week.  Which was because she married a Jew, but she just didn't want her children being raised Jewish.  Don't ask me to explain that.  Because I can't.

So anyhow it 16.  When I basically ran for my dear life to go anywhere but to be at Beekman Place.  And I got to southern Arizona school in Tucson Arizona.  The very first month.  I got there, to give you an example.  On the first day that I got the southern Arizona school in Tucson Arizona in 1966 as I'm walking out of the administration building directly to my right by around 40 feet was the building that housed the chemistry lab.  So I'm about 40 feet beyond that building just coming onto the southern Arizona school campus for the very first time.

And when I got about 50 feet in front of that building down the patio or the campus.  Suddenly there was this rather loud explosion and smoke was pouring out of the window of the lab building so much that you couldn't see the administration building.  So I'm standing there wondering.  That lasted for about 10 seconds and then I immediately thought in my mind.  This is exactly where I need to be.

In any event, the headmaster, who was there did not leave.  Because of that explosion in the chemistry lab which basically took out the building.  And the two students and the teacher.  But he did leave within about a month.  And that's when Capt. Slade Cutter became the headmaster southern Arizona school.  And he and I were, let's say that he and I and his wife became truly a family over the years.

So, just after he became headmaster.  He and I had a meeting because I was one of only three boys in school who were Jewish.  So he was meeting with all of us individually to see exactly how to accommodate our spiritual needs.  Because of course every Sunday.  The little VW minivan buses would take the students to church.

So he wanted to talk to me and more specifically because I was of the three students the only one who is coming from a mixed religious family.  And for whatever reason, right from the start we really seem to communicate so well.  It was like we were almost synchronized from the very instant.  And as we were talking I was telling him all about or a lot about how life was back at Beekman Place.  That's what I used to call our home.  Because it was that crazy.

And so then at one point he called in another unbelievably dear, dear friend of mine.  He was one of my closest friends at southern Arizona school and also just like Capt. Cutter and his wife this very dear friend of mine was like a second father or a better father.

His name was Mr. Everitt.  And as I said, he became one of my absolute closest friends like a second father.  And that is for a separate cover.

So anyhow, the three of us meet for perhaps about an hour.  And Mr. Everitt suggested that what he would do every Sunday with all of the students who wanted to go to church is that every Sunday.  We would go to a different religious church or synagogue or even a mosque.  And that's what we did.  And I think the idea came forward because Capt. Cutter realized that just like I had been deprived of my own religion in my own home because we were not allowed to celebrate anything Jewish in the house.  Because mother was Catholic.  So the only place I really learned about my own Jewish aspect or the Jewish personality within me and my Jewish world was from my grandmother.  And of course my Rabbi because that was where my father drew the line.

And I think when we are talking Capt. Cutter and Mr. Everitt basically connected the dots thinking well if I had never really been allowed to express search.  My own Jewish faith in my own home that wasn't of course fair and then he thought about the other students or maybe hadn't ever been allowed to experience any other type of religion.  And that's for Mr. Everitt came in.  And basically agreed that it would actually be probably a very good idea to expose the students to every aspect and he said except for those wants to didn't want to.  He said it should be their choice as well.

And that's what we did.  And I think there were only two or three boys who were devout or positioned within themselves where they didn't want to be part of the rest of the group going to a different religious site every Sunday or every Saturday.  Because they offered at one point to be able to get me to Temple on Saturday.  But I said that was an important.  Because it would be a lot of extra work and I didn't want to cause any trouble or make any extra work for anyone.  But they left it with that whenever I wanted to I should just let Mr. Everitt know in the middle of the week or the beginning of the week and they would make it happen.  So I could go to Temple if I wanted to.

So the gist of it is that I ended up experiencing like eight different religions from that I was 16 until after get out of the hospital and went to college in 1972.  So that when I was out traveling the country.  Years later trying to make my living as a contract analysts and that's not what the word means.  A contract analyst back in the 70s and 80s was a business analyst of any various Friday.  Who wouldn't go into a company so much as to negotiate for employment.  As to negotiate a contract for service.

I mean, some contract analyst were actually hired because the owner of the company or the CEO wanted a certain number of people fired and didn't want to have to put the HR department the human rights Department through the logistics level of the psychological baggage.  So they would go out and hire a kind of hired hand, and sometimes because I had friends who did this.  They had to work at the company with an assumed name.  Because of the way that things were being done.  The powers that be did not want to advise employees that they were going to say goodbye to prior to the event.  In one friend I knew true story was hired to do just that except as the boss wanted, the analyst to fire 150 people.  At once.

And that is another story.  Under separate cover.

But the point of all this is that when I look back at not only that experience but all the unbelievable amazing experiences I have had throughout this entire country over the course of 45 years of traveling.  Well, let's say 40 years of traveling.  That's more correct.  I've met so many different people of different religions that were absolutely incredible.  Just as human beings.  And as friends.  Not just in the United States but from all over the whole world.  Stuff it was just incredible.

So when I look at all of this religious stuff going on today with the background of my personality having come out of that operation in 1968 it's all just so pointless.  The very first thought I had when I was in the Ward 1968 when I had left the hospital where they do the surgery on me and where I was accidentally given a nauseous drug that I was allergic to and it was on the chart that I was allergic to.  When I got to the hospital were was recovering in the ward they gave me this nauseous drug I became so allergic to it within a matter of minutes.  The ceiling was starting to drop.  And I reached out without even being fully aware what I was doing and took the metal I stray and then it in half, and I cut my left wrist.

So I was highly and then overmedicated.  To the point where talking was a rather interesting exercise.  And that's another story.  Under separate cover.

But the very next morning when I woke up, they brought out this boy on a gurney, during breakfast, uncovered, at the same time the breakfast tray was coming in.  And I was in the older boys Ward, which was from ages 14 no excuse me 12 know is 14.  Ages 14 and upward.  I was the oldest boy in the Ward.  So I'm coming off of that night before when they gave me that nauseous drug or the drug to cure nausea that I was allergic to, which was highly printed on my chart.  I hear the gurney coming down the aisle.  And in the small boys Ward.  I hear the children crying.  I mean really crying.  As the gurney goes by, I can hear the other boys in my word, the oldest one which was 14 the youngest one which was 12.  It was 12.  That's right now.  I remember.

And they began to cry.  The boy on the gurney was dead.  Uncovered.  And always children were crying and I'm lying there looking at this and I'm stunned.  I just had never seen anything like that in my life and then within a second.  I can hear all this crying all around me.

In the instant that happened like a snap a flip of a switch inside of me.  I suddenly saw every single thing that I had ever been with my mother and father at Beekman Place completely disappear it.  Like just evaporated right out of my brain the way I was or whatever I was the way I live or what I associated with it just all vanished in an instant.

And what I was left with was only one thought.

No child deserves this.

And so age 17.  After going through all that I had or whatever.  My reaction to everything I just described was of course no child deserves this, but I was literally made aware that no one was going to talk to these children that no one was going to speak with them.  Otherwise they wouldn't all be crying.  So I knew that no matter what.  For the time I was here I was going to have to be their big brother.  In every sense of the word.

And the members of that are definitely another cover.

So when I look at what we're doing with our religion and politics and economics it's just ridiculous.  There is so much good in this world and in every single person I've ever met or ever written negatively about or positively about.  There is so much good in a every single person.  And in a huge number of cases that good struggles like hell to get out and very little of it does.  And there are so many different reasons and factors why that happens that that would probably take 10 different Journal entries to even talk about.

So there are all these negative emotions and negative energy and behavior in the world for all those reasons that I said would take a number Journal entries just to talk about.

And that's a given.

So with that being a given the it really does.  behoove, meaning it to humanity's best interest, humanity to realize there's always going to be that negative element to the human equation.  And it the best that we can do as humans are in this world is to potentially decrease the degree of or the amount of negative aspects or that those negative elements within ourselves and inhumanity.  That's the best we can do is to simply diminish it slightly or taken down slightly reduce it's slightly reduce the great deal.  But we won't ever be able to eliminate it, at least as the way things are now for humanity with all those various criteria being considered.

And those criteria are not only anthropological and sociological and political and theological and philosophical.  But they are biological geographical.  So there are a huge number of elements of criteria that play into a humans life as they are growing up and act as tremendous dynamics in how much of the goodness inside themselves actually becomes part of what they display to themselves and to others or how they relate to themselves and to others.

And that's without casting any kind of psychological baloney.  That's not important.  I'm just simply talking about positive and negative behavior.  Negative behavior.

So that being said, again the way that countries and populations are acting and governments in the world.  Not to mention the various groups in the world with respective to their own countries and internationally is for the most part not only counterproductive and theological but it's really anti-progressive or anti-evolutionary not from the standpoint of biology, although somewhat but tremendously from the standpoint of the evolution of humankind, intellectually and actually putting limits on how much further we can progress.  By limiting as and tying is down to antiquated perceptions and various types of dogma.

So given all of this.  It's going to be impossible to eliminate the negative aspects of humankind unless under a some circumstance all of those other elements can be resolved first.  And the only way something like that has ever been shown to happen is with cataclysmic event so severe that it gets everyone's attention.  And there have been circumstances like that in history though very few.  And I wouldn't wish that on humanity.  For anything.

So I live a human rights and I look at Republican Party and the tea party and all of the conniving in all the propaganda and all the other junk.  And I look at the similar types of activity throughout the world.  Then, based on my experience in life how I grew up.  What I saw how things change to me.  Because watching that little boy on October 1 know is October 2.  Go by the front of my bed like he was definitely changed every single thing inside of me.

So my perspective of what's going on in the world is of course decidedly different.  Not to mention the fact that I died for those 5 min.  It's almost like I'm standing on some train tracks have like I have binoculars.  And I can see way way down the train tracks.  And I see this train speeding down the tracks.  But not many others can see the train because not many have binoculars where they can see the train.  Yet the train is still coming.  So then you have that choice.

Do you ignore your fellow man.  Meaning men women and children?  Or do you do your best to try and warn them of that train that is coming.  Even though it is so far away that most may not be able to see it?

And on a much more individual and smaller scale when you think of this poor family and then you think of the firefighters who were there bravely trying to save their lives.  And we read about these really amazing things in every country.  Where someone will see that happen who is not a firefighter in their first instinct is to do everything they can and they all rush right into that building or whatever.  Because that ladies and gentlemen is the reality.

All of our fighting all of our screaming and yelling at each other all the wheeling and dealing all of making the wealthier, more wealthy and making the criminals more criminal.  All the stuff we're doing by spreading more and more hatred and complaining and not taking responsibility for what we do not only is it catching up to us, but it's basically showing we don't even have respect for ourselves because we don't even want to get out of the way of that speeding train.

So it's a loss.  No matter which way you look at it is a loss.

We can do so much better.  I know we can.  Because I've seen it done.  I've seen doing absolutely nothing and no hope in situations where none of that mattered.  Rich poor didn't matter in situations were all that mattered was getting it done doing it.  But that's not the way the world of Regina more.  Everybody's got their own separate little Hill.  Which of course they were.  It's our attention away from that speeding train.  And that's a problem.

Which does not in any way diminish the severity or the sadness of this tragedy.  But that absolutely makes it a marker.  Something we can use to jar are thinking.  Because the reality is that all of this hatred basically took the economy of the United States and blew it up in our faces.  No matter what anyone says.  That's what happened.

That's my reaction.  That's my reaction, socially, psychologically anthropologically politically theologically philosophically.  That we are basically becoming our own worst enemy.  And the explanation or explanations thereof are again a different and separate cover.

So either we put up and shut up and get it right, but we may not get out of the way of that speeding train.  Then what?

I wrote a story a number of years ago called what comes after 10.  Because approximately every 10 seconds another child is dying of starvation or at least it was back when I wrote that article.  And I explained that every 10 seconds.  There's a mother that is so completely in shock and destroyed that no matter where she is living in the world.  She is like every other mother in the world who has gone through that or who is going through that no matter where they are.  So, a woman who loses a child in Beverly Hills or Hollywood is exactly the same as a mother who is just burying her son in the ground in Africa.  At that one instant they are exactly the same.  And I defy anyone to say not so.  Because there is a connection that goes way beyond anything.

So when you think about that.  You then think that every single 10 seconds.  It goes by.  There's another one of those mothers in the exactly that same situation.  So, I wrote the article from the standpoint of wondering, what comes after 10?

Meaning I was curious what the hell these mothers were going to do?  The amount of sadness and tragedy.  Something that they worked so hard to protect.

What comes after that?

So when you think about that.  Then you start thinking about that speeding train.  And then you wonder.  So.  Are we going to get out of the way?  Or are we simply going to stand here on the tracks beating the hell out of each other hating each other trying to blow each other up without really trying to focus on that speeding train.  Or perhaps getting off the tracks.

And that's exactly where we are.

Which is why I see most of this stuff has really pointless and so terribly tragic and sad.  The point where I can only do it for a few hours every day.  Because that kind of sadness combined with losing Aileen is just a bit overwhelming.  At least emotionally.  And probably, psychologically and in every other way.  But just because it's tough doesn't mean you back down from it.  You just keep going.

But what is humanity going to do?  That's the real question.  What are we going to do?  I we get a continue acting like a bunch of rats on a sinking ship?  Standing on those tracks kind of low each other up and destroy as much as we can trying to suck the life out of this world.  Or are we perhaps going to stop and think for a second and realize that it's in our best interests to help each other.  And as many of us to survive as possible.  Not so much from the physiological standpoint, although that is of course a huge part of it.  But from the informational point of view.  Which states in all the other forms of how we express ourselves.  Because from that point of view if we take the point of view where we don't protect as many as we can.  Then of course fewer survive.  But that whole experience will position their thinking in such a way where once it is happened the potentiality of it happening again increases.  Meaning the psychology moves in that direction.

And I think that would be a very bad mistake.  Informationally.  Because it would position the psychology in an expedient manner whereby as reduced as the population had become that in one way or another.  Informationally, it could and would, or possibly could and would, be looked upon in terms of control rather than simply a historical fact.  And that distance between those two concepts informationally is incredibly small.

That's the danger ladies and gentlemen.  You need to look at and read Lord of the flies.

So consequently that's why think most of what we're doing is absolutely silly and absolutely counterproductive to our own survival.  Whether we like it or not.  In my perspective is of course, tempered because I'm a pacifist but also because of what I just explained.  I don't look at life the way a lot of people do.  At least individually.  Generally I am part of a huge, huge number of people throughout the world millions and millions and millions of people who feel very similar if not exactly like I do.  Individually the perspective that I hold is of course based on exactly what I've written above.

But what we as humans we are doing is not helping the process.  We're not getting control of our companies were not getting control over economics were not getting control of our money were not getting control of our emotions or our thoughts or the various aspects of our lives.  Like greed and gluttony.  And I'm not preaching religion.  I'm talking logic.

And if we don't get control.  We've got no chance.  Because informationally the living experience of humanity would changed rather dramatically and the book Lord of the flies, while seeming to be rather representative of where I am going as I'm talking is really not anywhere near as severe as the distortions informationally that will take place based on those choices.  The choice whether to save as many as possible.  Or the choice not to.

Which of course makes the concept of social Darwinism look rather ludicrous.  And I speak specifically of social Darwinism.  Not Darwinism.  Because it is almost a way of us making an excuse for the negative aspects within the human condition, informationally speaking.

And I don't think that's a very wise thing to do.  I mean making excuses for negative behavior.  I don't think that's going to help us grow very much at all.  Informationally speaking.

And then of course makes this tragedy.  Even more significant.  Because it is like a marker.  A marker in our history in this world.  Just like all of the other millions of children and mothers and fathers and families better being murdered and dying every day.  They are markers and they are so informationally whereby as a result of that collective experience informationally speaking again, we as human beings are developing various ideological and informational constructs collectively and individually which is actually promoting a lot of this violence.

But that's a hard sell.  Meaning, humanity doesn't want to hear things that are so abstractly defined.  Again reaffirming how resistant we have been to progress and progression.  It's like I said.  We are standing on those tracks.  And that speeding train is headed right for us, even only a few of us have binoculars to be able to see that speeding train.  And we are on those tracks trying to blow each other up and kill each other in every way possible.  Individually in neighborhoods and families all over the world.

And if we don't stop.  If we don't cut it out.  We will be standing right smack dab on those tracks when that train comes right through and then all those choices.  Informationally speaking will be right smack dab in our face.  And of all we've done is to continue all this fighting without ever looking at the other choice.  That when things begin to become more aggressive and more strenuous as for survival.  The potentiality, logically speaking, of us being able to see that other choice becomes more difficult as well.  Which means the higher probability are potentiality exists with not making were saying that other choice.  Meaning that the level of hatred and negative behavior.  We are exhibiting will continue.  Whereas, the Lord of the flies will look like a comic book next to what will be taking place.  Informationally within the human condition.  That's just logic.  No smoke and mirrors.  Just logic.

So you figure it out.

At 63 years old having lost Aileen lost most of my family.  I laugh a lot.  And it's just really incredible out turned out.  And I don't mean that negatively.  So for me it's not really an issue.  Because by the time that train really gets down that tracks to where it's right where we are I won't be around anymore.  At least in all likelihood.  You never know.  I know there are people in the world are hoping that I don't make 65.  Then there are people in the world who are probably convinced that I will perhaps make 100.  I and the other hand, have always felt that the good die young.  And since a good die young.  I will probably be the last man on earth throwing little tiny rocks into the water at the edge of the world.  Just kidding.

But the reality is I probably won't be around when the worst of it hits.  And we already are doing so much damage to ourselves and that everything.  All because of what I've been saying above, meaning in the above paragraphs.  So it's not up to me I made my choices a long time ago and they were not easy choices to make those kind of choices always cost you something.  And I'm not talking about money by any means, although sometimes that happens too.

So what will it cost?

What will the cost for humanity to finally realize what I'm writing in this article right now and would millions and millions and millions of other people drop the entire world are saying in so many different other ways.  That if we don't stop we are done.  We are done as anything we have ever known.

And like I've always said in this is true.  Don't think I think I am anything to this world because I don't.  I am just one single human being out of 7 billion in the world.  Just one.  And I ain't nothing special.  I do have a good brain.  But so what?  As I always say, and I've said all my life,….  That and a cough drop and a holy card, will get you dinner with Satan.….

He and the explanation of that is yet another cover.

So.  That's the choice.  That's the choice, humanity has.  Will humanity take it upon itself to see the speeding train on the tracks and get off of those tracks to get out of the way the speeding train or not?

I of course am sending my prayers and my thoughts and all of my hopes to everyone involved in this tragedy and I'm so very sorry.  And I'm also sending all of my thoughts and my prayers to all those everywhere who are suffering.  And like I said.  I never turned away from my darling Aileen.  Not even now.  And I will do the same for everyone in this world.  I will not turn away from you.  No matter what.

I'll write later.

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