Are We There Yet?

Are We There Yet?
This is the sign that is over the front door of Aileen's and my house, our home, going OUT. Meaning that when someone leaves our house they are going into the ACTUAL Mental Ward.

I've always felt that way. When it is considered how much ugliness and killing and hatred there is in the world today, it actually makes perfect sense that this sign is over the door going out of the house.

Because that's where the real mental ward is.

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

A Closer Look

Now as I just wrote Evelyn got in touch with me and explained that she was having difficulty coming over to the house.  Because, of course, her sister, my darling wife Aileen was basically dying here in the house.  And I have long suspected that really was the case ever since Aileen died.  Which makes my earlier Journal entries not quite as accurate as they possibly could have been, and indicates that some of what was going on with my writing.  At that time was probably old baggage within myself dealing with Aileen's death and my relationship with her brother and sister, meaning Claude and Evelyn.

The reality is that Claude is really overburdened with taking care of his granddaughter, and dealing with his daughter, because there are a lot of real issues there that are more private, but that's really what's going on.  That he is just really tremendously busy while trying to take care of his own life in his own home with also taking care of his granddaughter, and his daughter.  And I've known that for a long time.

Besides Claude is not quite as what could be called, touchy-feely as Evelyn is.  So while Claude and I still love each other.  I'm sure.  We just aren't really seeing that much of each other.  Evelyn is different.  She and I were always connected throughout Aileen's marriage.  At one point or another in one way or another.  So her getting in touch, and explaining what I have always believed is probably a very good thing because it helps her to deal with what's going on inside yourself by stating it.  And it's a good thing because she's attempting to reach out to me and to basically try to be part of my life and that's fine as well.  That's a good thing.

But that's what this Journal is.  Not only is it a lot of the news posting like I did today and not only is it periodically where Aileen and I actually talk together.  And not only is it where I sound off about human rights, but it is that repository where I put my thoughts down as I'm working through my own life process.  Like I said it's a kind of map.  That's all it can be.  At least in that one regard.

So I have telephoned Evelyn and assured her that it's okay and that she should simply take her time.  Not to worry.  That she should call me when it's comfortable and that I still love her.  Just like I do, her brother Claude.

But I wanted to record all of this in my journal again because this Journal is that kind of map of my life.  And I don't want to go into a lot of the specifics or personal aspects of someone else's life.  Like Claude or Evelyn because I don't believe that's appropriate or fair to them.  So basically I don't do that.  That's one of the reasons I left Facebook.  Because that kind of junk or crap is all too easy to happen or to be done.  And I just don't go in for that kind of stuff.

I might describe her castigate the behavior of someone in the neighborhood, but I will never name who they are or I will never identify them in any way.  Just like I might do the same with someone I met earlier in my life where I have some old memory the comes to the surface.  Because I don't believe in character assassination.  And that like I said is one of the reasons I left Facebook because on Facebook.  It's just too easy to do that kind of thing.

So I wanted to record this as its own separate Journal entry so that I could at least clear my thoughts about the whole matter, and then move on from there.

Thanks for reading.