Are We There Yet?

Are We There Yet?
This is the sign that is over the front door of Aileen's and my house, our home, going OUT. Meaning that when someone leaves our house they are going into the ACTUAL Mental Ward.

I've always felt that way. When it is considered how much ugliness and killing and hatred there is in the world today, it actually makes perfect sense that this sign is over the door going out of the house.

Because that's where the real mental ward is.

Thursday, March 7, 2013

The Big Picture

Okay.  Now I have just presented some really rather interesting stuff.  Stuff that sort of really seems to string together a number of different events that, at first glance, appear unrelated.  And yet, with closer inspection you really seem to have some degree of connectivity.

So in order to be fair to those people who really hate me and hate everything about me and hate me so badly that they would love just to beat the living crap out of me like a few of my neighbors living in my own neighborhood.  Because I really do want to be fair to them.  Because it's important to pay attention to their hatred.  It's important to give their hatred the same degree of fairness that we would to anything else.  Because after all of these neighbors in my neighborhood who have all his hatred for me are really spending a lot of time with their hatred.  What of course they could in fact spend their time with other things, but instead they're not because they really enjoy hating not only me but hating everything they possibly can because they are all about hatred.

So that's important.  And I don't want these neighbors who have all his hatred for me to feel that I don't respect their hatred.  Because it's important that they understand that I really do respect them and their hatred for me.  I just don't hate me anywhere near as much as they do.  Will what I really do want these neighbors to know that hatred they have for me.  I think needs to be respected.

And I'll even go further.  I'll be more than happy to communicate to anyone that any of my neighbors who have hatred for me.  Want me to.  That these neighbors hate me and that these neighbors want everyone in Cleveland and everyone in the world to know that these neighbors hate me so badly that they want everyone in the world to know about their hatred.  Because these neighbors have so much hatred for me that they want everyone in the world to accept their hatred and to understand their hatred and to know that they are right and everyone else in my entire life is wrong that these neighbors who hate me the way they do are the only ones who should be considered correct.  That their hatred for me is more important than what anyone else might feel for me.

I'll even go to that extreme.  And now do so because I do realize that it's important for people to be validated.  And these neighbors who have all his hatred for me just can't stand the fact that anyone might actually like me.  Because they don't like anyone liking me.  They want everyone to hate me just as much as they do.  So I am talking about their hatred, because I'm hoping other people will see their hatred and realize that these neighbors are the only ones in 62 years, who should ever be believed in their view of me.  And that no one in the entire world should ever be allowed to like me because these neighbors hate me and they're the only ones who should be considered correct that they are the only ones who should ever be considered being able to have any value to opinion about me because their opinion is worth more than any other person's opinion in the 62 years I have lived.  And that everyone should believe them and embrace their hatred, because that's what these neighbors want.

And if the world wants to do that.  No problem.  Because I'm sure that these neighbors would love to talk to have one and get her to hate me and then they would like to talk to everyone I ever knew and get them that hate me as well.  But of course I'm not the only object of hatred that these neighbors focus on.  Because they actually hate most of the people in this neighborhood except for the other people who are like them, who also hate.  Because that's what these neighbors like to do.  They like to focus on hatred.

So let's look at that for a moment.  Let's look at that very seriously.  Because I'm not the only person in the world who has people or groups hating them.

You can look all over this world and you can find millions and millions of people like these neighbors in my neighborhood.  Who thrive on hatred.  And who thrive on lying about other people.  Who thrive on racism and bigotry and prejudice and demonstrating as much ugliness and hatred as they can.  Because that's what these neighbors do of course.  They thrive on racism and bigotry and prejudice.  And then they lie because they attempt to demonstrate that they are not racist.  And then as soon as the object of their racism is no longer present day of course demonstrate their racism proudly.

So again, let's look at that.  Because I said.  I'm not the only one who is the object of this kind of hatred.  And that's really sort of unfortunate because these people who embrace the hatred they have for me in my own neighborhood really think that they are tremendously important.  And they really want everyone in the entire city of Cleveland have as much hatred for me as they do, because they believe that their hatred is more important than what anyone else might feel for me.

Just like so many other groups of people and people in our world who thrive on hatred and racism and bigotry and prejudice and all sorts of other ugly despicable horrible primitive back word and extremely disgraceful behavior.  But we have a huge number of people and groups in this world who really enjoy that kind of ugly and disgraceful and horrible and primitive than really stupid behavior.  Because all over the world there are groups of people and people who thrive on hatred and racism and bigotry in all sorts of other ugly disgusting and despicable and primitive and ugly kinds of thinking.  Just like these neighbors in my neighborhood do.

So in all fairness, their hatred needs to be a paid attention to.  Because that's what they want.  They want attention.  They want everyone to pay attention to their hatred.  They want everyone to shut up and put up and not like anything unless they meaning these neighbors say it's okay for others to like anything.  Because these neighbors don't want anyone liking me.  They want everyone to hate me as they do.  That's why of course they tell lies about me in this neighborhood.  That's why they have tried repeatedly to spy on me and to invade my home illegally.  That's why they tell lies about me to anyone they possibly can.  Because they don't want anyone ever to feel anything for me other than what they meaning these neighbors tell them to think or feel about me.  And they hate anyone who feels anything for me other than the same hatred they do.  Because in their mind, everyone is nothing but a stupid piece of garbage, who feels anything for me other than the kind of hatred they do.

Just like so many other people in our world and groups in our world who thrive on ugliness and hatred and a good tree and prejudice and then lie about it.  They go about their public lives lying and pretending to be people who value peace and love when in reality, they thrive on ugliness and hatred and all the other despicable disgraceful ugly backward primitive horrible types of thinking that people who embrace hatred promote and support.

So that's fine.  So we in the world are then given a choice.  If we attempt to fight against his hatred and then we are not only becoming part of their hatred but we are actually sinking down to their ugly despicable filthy primitive back word horrible behavior.  To the same dark and ugly violent terrible behavior that they embrace.  And if we sink down to their ugly horrible behavior filled with lying, which is what these neighbors do.  Just like all the other people who act like them.  If we sink to that level.  Then of course we don't ever really reach our own highest good.

And I really think it's important for us to look at that.  Because what's going on with me in this neighborhood is not simply going on with me in this neighborhood.  It's happening to people all over this world.  There was just a young man here in the United States, a boy in high school, who has recently died from the same kind of ugly filthy lying and hatred that these neighbors have for me.  Because these neighbors are bullies.  They support bullying.  They support the beating and the bullying of children.  And this is in fact, knowledge.  And it is also provable.

So nothing that these neighbors could ever say is ever going to take away that prove.  Because there are physical events that prove that the hatred and the bullying and the lying and the hatred that these people support and have supported have actually caused harm to other people.  But they don't care because they love their hatred.  And they don't care how many people they hurt and they don't care how many people they will lie to.  Because all they care about is their hatred.

Just like so many other backward primitive stupid disgraceful despicable ugly horrible people in this world and just like so many other ugly horrible despicable negative lying and bullying groups in this world.

And of course that's really sort of sad because these neighbors think they are better than everyone when in reality.  They are pretty much very typical.  Typical of the same ugly filthy lying back word primitive disgraceful.  And very ugly behavior that so many other groups and people in this world support and embrace.  Which means they're not really that special at all.  There just a bunch of filthy ugly liars who lie to everyone and embrace hatred and all sorts of ugly horrible despicable monster as talks thinking they are better than everyone when in reality.  They are just like a bunch of ugly people who have hatred like so many other groups and people in this world.

So when we look at all of that hatred in this world.  And then we look at the sequence of events between the time when my mother gave her life.  So that I could live.  And the time when I first met my darling Aileen in 1993.  And the connectivity and the synchronicity seems so blatantly clear.  The bigger picture becomes even more important.

Because the same connectivity and synchronicity that is evident in my life, where my mother is 62 years ago.  On December 30, 1950, while she was dying.  Somehow had inside of herself a feeling that she had to get to that hospital.  That she had to get to that hospital.  So that I would be born.  Because she had something going on inside of her were she felt it was imperative that I was brought into this world.  She felt it was so important that she was willing to die so that I would be born.

And when you think about that.  You then realize that what my mother went through is not really abnormal in any way.  Because there have been literally millions and millions of mothers who felt inside themselves that the child they are carrying had to be born.  And that these mothers felt this way to such an extent that they were willing to give their lives.  So that those children would be born.

And then years and years later, those children and encountering someone else in their life.  Whereby as a result of that encounter a tremendous amount of synchronicity and connectivity immediately takes place.  From that moment of that encounter all the way back to the very moment when their mother gave their lives, so that child would in fact be born.

Which then means that either there is that connectivity.  And either there is that the synchronicity.  Or, the people like these neighbors in my neighborhood who have all this hatred for me are actually right.  That people like me are nothing but a piece of garbage that need to be hated.  And that we should really be nothing but bullied and lied about.  And that we shouldn't be looked upon as anything of any value.  And that we should be spied upon, and we should have our rights taken from us and we should be pushed around and made to feel like we are nothing but crap.  And that our mother dying to bring us in the world means that our mothers were basically just stupid pieces of garbage who should have been murdered.  Because that's what these neighbors who hate me so badly feel.  They would have loved to have murdered my mother.  So that I would never have been born, because that's how much hatred they have for me.

Just like so many other ugly despicable back word primitive and really stupid people who are filthy liars and who embrace lying and they lied to everyone.  Because it's happening all over our world and it has happened all through history.

So if we give into the lying despicable ugly filthy back WordPress grateful and terrible behavior of these ugly monsters like these neighbors who live in my neighborhood.  Just like all the other liars and the supporters of bullying and the supporters of violence and hatred.  Just like these neighbors are in my neighborhood.  Then we as a world will then focus on all his hatred and all this killing and all this ugly violence, and we will begin to believe that people like my mother who felt it was so important to make sure I came into the world were nothing but stupid pieces of garbage who needed to be murdered.  And we will feel like this young boy who recently died from bullying was just another piece of human refuse and human garbage who needed to be murdered because that's exactly how these neighbors who live near me feel.  They love seeing children being beaten and bullied.  They love being bullies.  They love lying and spreading their hatred.  Because that's what they do about me.  And in reality, there are provable events, where these people have in the past been involved in that kind of ugly behavior, where they have actually harmed other people with their hatred.  That is a provable and documentable fact.

So that means that we really do as a world have a choice.  And that this choice has nothing to do with me in as much as it has to do with everyone else in this world.  Because we are looking then at the synchronicity of life itself.  The mother of this young boy who recently died as a result of bullying, went through the entire birth process, whereby she brought this young man into the world.  And she did not do that lightly.  She did that with all the love inside of herself feeling that she knew inside herself that this child was special.  But this child was someone inside herself that she knew had to be born.

And so that child was born.  Born into a world with ugly people who support hatred and violence just like these neighbors of mine do.  And this child lived their lives.  In such a way so that what eventually happened was that the people who have nothing but hatred.  Just like these neighbors in my neighborhood.  Eventually just couldn't stand having that child in this world.  So these ugly people.  Just like these ugly horrible monsters in my neighborhood decided it would be a much better idea to bully this child and beat them down and to destroy them.  Which they did.  Just like the ugly despicable horrible monsters who live in my neighborhood who fill themselves with hatred and tell lies about me.  Because that's what they do.  They try to spy on me, they lied about me they spread lies to everyone they can about me.

Just like the ugly horrible monsters who bullied this young man to the point where they actually injured him.  And then he died.

If that's what these neighbors would like to do to me.  Because that's how strong their hatred is for me.  And no matter what filthy lie they might tell to anyone in this neighborhood.  Everyone can see their hatred.

Just like everyone could see the hatred that was being demonstrated against this young man who recently was bullied and then died.  Which means that no way that his mother knew that her son this young man was in fact special.  And he was.  Because his death actually brought about a kind of national discussion.  Because now the world is suddenly looking at all of the hatred and all of the bullying and all the lying that these horrible monsters who support hatred are doing.  Just like these people in my neighborhood.  Who thrive online and and who have tried to spy on me because they hate me so badly.  And who have in the past bullied other people to the point where they have actually harmed them.

And of course these people who support this kind of hatred don't like that.  Because they don't want anyone thinking that their hatred is ugly or bad.  They want everyone thinking that their hatred is justifiable.  And that their hatred has value and that there is a really good reason for them to embrace that kind of hatred and ugliness.  So, just like these horrible ugly people in my neighborhood do.  These purveyors of hatred to tell lies.  They lie about everything.  They lie about how they are really good people when in reality they are nothing but ugly monsters who support hatred they are bullies who love to bully other people and to be belligerent and pushed their violence on everyone else.  Which means that we as a human condition then have some very serious questions.

Are we going to give into this kind of ugly despicable primitive backward filthy horrible behavior of people like these ugly monsters in my neighborhood who lied about me and tell lies to everyone they can about me and try to spy on me in my own home?  Are we going to give into these kinds of ugly horrible monsters in this country and throughout this world?

Are we going to denigrate and showed disrespect for the mothers of these different children in this world who believe that inside themselves that bringing those children into the world was so important?  Are we really going to show that much disrespect and hatred for those women?  And if we do that then what does that say about our respect for women in general?  But of course that's easy to see.  Because these neighbors in my neighborhood have very little respect for women or women's rights.  They don't really show very much respect for women at all.  Because their lives are full of hatred and being bullies in being violent and thinking they have the right to push their way into anyone's life they want.  That's why they have spent so much time and money and effort lying about me and trying to spy on me in my own home.

Because they really are that typical.  They are so typical of the ugly despicable backward primitive and horrible ugly behavior that abounds in our world.  The behavior where people feel they have the right to invade other people's lives and to push them around to the point where, for example of very nice and very good person like this young man ends up being bullied to the point where he dies.  And the people of hatred.  Just like these ugly monsters in my neighborhood sit back and they laugh and they pat themselves on the back for every child they murder for every bit of hatred they demonstrate because that's what they thrive on.  They thrive on hatred they thrive on violence they thrive on mistreating women.  They thrive on beating up children they thrive on being bullies they thrive on the lying and being ugly.  Just like these neighbors in my neighborhood.

And the world is full of these types of people.  Because if it were not that we would not have this young man who recently died as a result of that kind of despicable, primitive ugly behavior.  Just like these neighbors in my neighborhood demonstrate and promote.

So again, the question comes to point.  If these people who have all this hatred are correct.  That means that when my mother was struggling with her last ounce of life to give me my own life.  That my mother was nothing but a piece of garbage and should have been murdered.  And then I probably should have died with her.  And of course if that would have happened that I would not have been in this world.  Which means I would not have ever met my darling Aileen.  Which means I would never have been able to love her while she was dying.  Which means I would not have been able to be there while she was dying to try to save her life.  Which means I would not be here now to lend comfort and support to her sister, Evelyn.

But that's what these neighbors want.  Because they hate everyone.  So they would love to see Aileen's sister falling into that tends level of hell and dying because they support hatred they love hating everything.  Just like so many other typical ugly forms of behavior in this world and they lie about every one they lie about everything they can just like they lie about me.

Just like the purveyors of hatred and bullying lied about their behavior to this young man that they bullied.  That they bullied to the point where he died.  And that's exactly the kind of ugly despicable behavior that goes on in my neighborhood by this group of neighbors who thrive on ugliness and violence and hatred.  And then close themselves up and hide themselves away, because they don't want anyone to see their hatred so that when they come out in public they tried to demonstrate nothing but peace and kindness and yet they anything they can that will be looked on as ugly in terms of me.  They do everything they can to spend their money and their time and energy to get everyone in this neighborhood that hate me.  Just like so many other groups and people are doing throughout this entire country heard just like group of people or the people did to this young man to the point where he became so injured physically that he died.

And then these ugly monsters in my neighborhood have the audacity to go to church and to claim that they are in fact good and righteous people.  When in fact, they embraced lying and ugliness and violence that are telling lies about me and they hate my mother they hate everything they hate my mother for giving birth to me they hated my wife they hated us both they hate our lives.  Because that's all they ever do is hate and compile upon that even more hatred.

Just like the ugly monsters who bullied this young man to the point where he became physically injured and died.  And then these ugly horrible monsters who support hatred are really left with nothing.  Because then they don't have anyone left to bully and to demonstrate their hatred on so they become even more means filled with even more hatred and ugliness and nothing is too ugly and nothing is too violent.  Nothing is too dark for them to embrace in order to promote their hatred.

So there are two sides to the question, ladies and gentlemen to extremely important sides to this question, whether we like it or not those two sides to this question ours they are.  And nothing that any of these filthy ugly horrible monsters of hatred ever say will remove those two sides of the question.  Because those two sides remain despite their ugliness despite their lying and all of their violent horrible despicable behavior.  Those two sides of the question remain.

And that is that on the one hand, the mother who gave birth to this young man when she was carrying him inside of herself she knew inside of herself that this life was special.  It was special to her it was going to be special to her family.  And that this child was going to have all the love she could ever give to that child.  Until the child was born.  Born into a world filled with ugly hatred and violent bullying.  To the point where ugly horrible monsters just like these despicable neighbors who live in my neighborhood with all of their hatred got their way.  These horrible ugly purveyors of lying and bullying and hatred being dump on that young man as he was growing up.  This one live that his mother dedicated her life to make sure that he was born.  And she didn't have to do what my mother did.  She lived.  My mother did not.  But both mothers dedicated their lives to making sure this child was born.  This mother dedicated her life to this young man and my mother dedicated her life to me.

And in the case of this young man these ugly horrible monsters these filthy liars like these ugly horrible liars in my neighborhood got their way and they bullied that child and they beat that child and a bead on him again and a bead on him again and they've been on him again until they injured him to the point where he died.  And then they turned their back and celebrated their beating and their ugliness and then they lied about it.  Just like these ugly horrible monsters in my neighborhood lie to everyone while they spend as much time as they can hating me.  And the result?

In the case of this young man he died.  He is no longer part of our world.  The bullies and those who embrace hatred won.  They got their way.  They wanted this young man is dead.  So they got their way.

Just like these ugly monsters in my neighborhood.  They're doing everything they can to lie to everyone.  They lied to the police, they lied to other neighbors in this neighborhood they tell lies to anyone who will listen they tried to get everyone they can to hate me as much as they do.  They've even used people in this neighborhood lying.  So that these people in the neighborhood would actually come up and try to be friends to me.  Always with the hidden agenda of trying to spy on me and to get as much information from me as possible, because that's what these people who hate me so badly want.  They want the right to be able to spy on me and to push their hatred into my life.  Just like these bullies did this young man, who eventually died from their hatred.

And yet ladies and gentlemen the other side of the question still exists.  Whether any of these monsters of hatred like it or not.  The other side of the question still exists.  If these people who hate me so badly had gotten their way.  Then I would have died along with my mother.  And if that would have happened.  Then I would never have met my darling Aileen.  I would have never been there to try to save her life.  I would have never been there for those 18 years to bring comfort and love to her while she was dying.  I would have never been there in the last eight months of her life to do everything I could to make those last months meaningful to her and I would not be here right now to lend comfort and support to her sister, who is in such need.

But that's what these neighbors want.  They wanted my wife to die they wanted her to suffer.  They wanted her to go to hell and burn because they hated her so much.  Because they hate me.  And you can't have one without the other.  Because the synchronicity and the connectivity of life exists.  Whether these people filled with hatred and all the others like it or not.  The synchronicity and connectivity of life exists.

Which means my mother did in fact survive long enough to bring me into the world.  And that 62 years later as a result of that single action.  Not only did I meet and fall love with my darling Aileen.  But I was there during those 18 years the last 18 years of her life to give her love and support.  And I was there during the last eight months of her life to make her life as comfortable as possible to give her as much love as I possibly could, just like I am right here and now to continue that love and to demonstrate love and support for her sister Evelyn.

So if we give in to the filthy lying and ugly despicable horrible monsters piece of crap behavior of these neighbors in my neighborhood who go around the neighborhood lying about what wonderful people they are and how horrible and ugly and despicable and what a piece of crap IM if we give in to that kind of thinking.  Then, we also say that my mother should have never given birth to me and that I should never have been allowed to give my darling Aileen the comfort I did for those 18 years and that I should never have been allowed to be there in those last eight months that she lived to love her as much as I did and that I should not be allowed to be here now to give comfort to her sister.

Just like that young man who died.  But because those monsters like these ugly horrible monsters who live in my neighborhood telling all the lies they tell spreading all the hatred they do.  The same ugly monsters who did that to this young man actually succeeded.  They murdered him.  They killed him in cold blood.  And it's done every day, ladies and gentlemen.  Every day.

So that's the choice ladies and gentlemen, we either put a value on those women carrying a life will believe within themselves that the life they are carrying has a certain degree of being special.  And if we don't and we allow those children to die.  Or we murdered them after they are born, if we bully them and beat them to death.  And then laugh about it just like these ugly horrible monsters who live in my neighborhood will laugh at me.  What do we have?  We have all of the missed opportunities that this young man would have been part of in his life.  All of those events that this young man will never be part of.  Because these monsters these purveyors of hatred.  Just exactly like these ugly horrible monsters who live in my neighborhood got their way.  They are raced his life.  Just like the horrible ugly people who live in my neighborhood would like to erase mine.  And the effect of that would have been that my darling Aileen would have died alone.  She would not have had me there.  She would never have been able to find the love she was searching for all her life.  And he's horrible ugly monsters living in my neighborhood would have succeeded.  And basically crushing my mother's soul.  They would have succeeded basically telling my mother that she was nothing but a piece of human garbage who should have been murdered.  Like she was.  But that I should have been murdered with her.  Just like my mother told me.

But in my case these monsters who live in my neighborhood were not successful.  They were not able to murder my mother and then to murder me.  Even though they have made threats to murder me in the recent past.  Even though they make it very clear they would love to have a chance to kill me at any given second because they hate me so badly they would love to murder me because I would love to take away from Evelyn any kind of comfort she might have.  Because they hate Evelyn they hated my wife they hated her so badly that they wanted me to die because they didn't want Aileen to have any kind of comfort whatsoever, unless they gave Aileen the comfort is they are the only ones who should have any rights at all in this world.  Just like the monsters who beat this young man and bullied him to the point where he died.

So that gives us a choice.  Like I said.  It gives us a very clear choice ladies and gentlemen.  Do we support this kind of ugly despicable lying?  Do we support this ugly stupid backward primitive racist prejudiced bullying behavior?  Do we allow these filthy liars in these bullies in these monsters of hatred to continue murdering our children denigrating and disrespecting our women?  Or do we instead, stand up against this hatred and to proclaim with all of our heart and soul that our mothers did not die for nothing.  But our mothers did not carry us as a result of some asinine mistake.  But that the hand of God guided them.  But the hand of God guided our mothers to bring us into the world.  So that through the synchronicity and connectivity of life we would in fact find our destiny that we would find that one special moment in our life for why we were born.

Which then brings the really dark and very sad question.  What was this young man's destiny?  Was his destiny to be subjected to the same kind of ugly horrible monsters behavior that these neighbors in my neighborhood demonstrate toward me?  Was that really his destiny?  Because that's what these neighbors who live in my neighborhood want everyone to think.  That child that God didn't adapt and murdered deserved it.  And as I've said, there are provable events that will show very clearly that these neighbors in my neighborhood who have demonstrated their hatred have done so in the past, where they have actually injured other people, gravely.

So you tell me.  You tell me where you want to stand.  Or better yet tell yourself.  Tell yourself where you want to stand in all of this.  Do you want to stand on the side of ugliness and hatred and lying and bullying and eating the hell out of our children to a point where they'd die as a result of bullying?  Do you want to support lying and deceit and racism and violence and murder and ugliness like these neighbors in my neighborhood support?

Because you have to ask yourself.  What happens when you take away someone else's destiny?  If all the different people who beat on me in my life and try to murder me in my life had succeeded that I would have never been here for those 18 years.  The last 18 years my darling wife Aileen was going to have to battle cancer.  If all those ugly horrible monsters in my life had gotten their way.  And murdered me that I would never have been here during those last eight months.  When my darling Aileen was dying and she desperately needed my love and my support and my help.

So what about the destiny of this young man?  What connectivity does he have now?  What synchronicity to his destiny is there left?

So it's a very important question whether anyone likes it or not.  Because whether anyone likes it or not including these ugly monsters who live in my neighborhood.  Those two sides of the coin still exist.  And nothing that any of the filthy liars like these people who live in my neighborhood will ever be able to say will change that fact.  That there are two sides to connectivity and synchronicity.  And that when you allow your ugliness and your hatred to become so strong in you that you basically destroy someone else's life.  You don't only destroy their lives.  You destroy any synchronicity or connectivity their life might have had.  You destroy any possible chance of that person's life where they may in fact have been put into a situation where as a result of their lives they might have actually been able to save someone else's life.  Because you take away that synchronicity you take away that connectivity when you destroy their life.

But bullies never really think about that.  Just like these ugly monsters who live in my neighborhood.  Because they don't give a damn about anything except their own hatred.  Their own selfish arrogance, how they are better than everyone else and how they want everyone to believe their lies.

Until the argument rages on.  With more and more of our children being beaten and murdered.  With more and more nations trying to elite each other and to intimidate each other scaring the hell out of the people who live in the nations that are being bullied.  All because nobody wants to stand up and say no.

And yet the reality still remains.  Because I am living proof of being bullied all my life including now after my darling wife Aileen has died.  I am living proof of being bullied and intimidated in my own home and lied about and spied on by these ugly purveyors of hatred.  And the world continues to make excuses why it's okay for these purveyors of hatred to tell their lies and to spread their hatred.  Because instead of standing up and saying no.  We give in to these liars and these monsters of hatred and violence.  And we give them all the attention they are desperate for and as we do that more of our children die.  And as those children die, those children lose any connectivity or synchronicity with the rest of life that they might ever have.

So will never know in the case of this brilliant young man who died what lives he might have actually saved.  What people he might have actually become friends with.  How many different men and women or boys and girls he might have met as he was growing up that he might have actually been a friend to.  We will never know how many lives he might have actually helped by simply being a good person.  Because the bullies and the liars just like these monsters in my neighborhood got their way.  And nobody wants to stand up and say no.  And yet for every one of us that does stand up and say no the bullies yell louder and louder and scream about their rights.  Like their rights of hatred and lying and bullying are more important.  But the reality is always the same.  Regardless of any of the filthy lying and the ugly horrible monsters behavior that these liars might tell just like these filthy liars in my neighborhood who spread lies about me.  Regardless of any of those lies.  The reality still is the same.  Had any of the people in my life been successful in murdering me or destroying me.  I would have never been here to be able to meet my darling Aileen and to give her every single thing I ever had in my life to make the last 18 years of hers more endurable.  I would have never been here during those last eight months of her life to stand by her side.  So that she would not have to face death alone.

Which means the ultimate question really is.  Is it worth it?

Is it worth all the hatred that all of the lying and all about bullying that we do in order to destroy each other.  Just so that we can destroy that connectivity and that synchronicity that every single life has?  Because my mother was not alone.  There are millions of mothers throughout this world every single day, who are being intimidated and bullied with many of them dying and not being able to bring their Iraqi list child into this world.  So we will never know how many lives that child might have saved how many lives that child might have enriched.  We will never know whether that child might actually have met someone who was in desperate need.  Just like my darling Aileen.

Because no matter what the filthy liars and the ugly monsters of hatred.  Just like these people in my neighborhood are.  No matter what any of them say they will never be able to deny the synchronicity and the connectivity of life.  Because they themselves would not even be here without synchronicity and the connectivity of life itself.  Which brings us back to that ultimate question.  Is it worth it?

People in my neighborhood think it's rather strange that I have blocked off my Windows so that no one can see into my house.  Yet everyone who comes into my house says the same thing.  At the energy in my home is nothing like the energy outside of this house.  But the energy in my home is one that is extremely positive and peaceful without any of the ugliness that exists in this world.  And every single person who comes into my house is amazed at the amount of love and peace that exists in this house.  Because I won't allow that ugly horrible monsters bullying lying despicable disgraceful primitive ugly behavior into this house.  And that of course really upsets these neighbors who live in my neighborhood because they hate the fact that they can't push their hatred into my home, because that's what they do is they lied about their hatred they lied about their ugliness to everyone they can.  Just like the murderers of this young man are lying about what they did screaming and yelling that it wasn't their fault.  When the reaction of their bullying and their hatred murdered this young man.  They killed him in cold blood.  They know what and so does God.

Which like I said brings us back to that ultimate choice ladies and gentlemen it brings us back to that ultimate question.  Is it worth it?  Is it worth it for us to continue to subscribe to this ugly hatred.  So that our children will be beaten to death and murdered?  Is it worth it for us to subscribe to our ugly violent despicable lying ways.  So that we can destroy the synchronicity of someone else's life, the connectivity that their life might have?  Because that's the final result, ladies and gentlemen the matter what any of the filthy liars might say.  If they had been successful at any time in my life and exterminating me.  My darling Aileen would've died alone.  And her sister, Evelyn Wood now not have me to lean on.  When she sometimes does need someone to lean on.

It's all well and good for us to make fun and to poke jokes at our own ugliness.  It's a much different thing for us to put up and shut up and do accept the responsibility of our own ugliness and to realize that our ugly form or our ugly forms of behavior.  Like our bullying and are lying in our violent despicable ways are actually destroying the synchronicity and the connectivity of lives.  In such a way so that we will never know how many lives.  Those who we bullying be down and destroy might actually have connected with.  How many people would have been beneficially affected by that person's life.

In my case I have to believe in my heart that God was always following me around making sure that the ugly monsters like these horrible despicable people in my neighborhood who spread lies about me and who have tried to spy on me in my own home will not succeed.  Because God wants me in the world.  God wants my love of others to be in this world.  God wanted me to fall in love with my darling Aileen.  God wanted me to be there when she was dying.  Just like God wanted my mother to be able to make it to that hospital in 1950.  Because God knew that my mother made it to that hospital, that somehow or other the strength she showed inside herself with her last dying breath to get to that hospital so that I would be borne would somehow be transmitted into me.  And that I would have that same degree of drive and that the same degree of spirit and soul so that no matter what kind of ugly horrible monsters I might ever meet in this world I would keep on going no matter what.

And I did.  Despite the same kind of ugly monsters I met all my life that are just exactly like these despicable monsters who live in my neighborhood telling lies about me spreading their hatred and trying to spy on me who try to destroy me in every way they can.  And yet they never succeed.  Because God is on my side, because God made sure my mother gave birth to me.  Just like God was there so many other times in my life when people were beating on me and trying to crush me into the ground.  They never got their way, because I kept going.  And I kept going not ever realizing in my own life.  The real synchronicity or connectivity of my life, because I had no idea I was ever going to meet Aileen until I did so.  But the moment I met her I knew the reason why God would never let me quit.  Why I kept going.

So what do we do now ladies and gentlemen?  This young man has died.  He has died as a result of the bullying just like these monsters in my neighborhood support.  So do we give in to that kind of bullying and allow these bullies to be our children down and to destroy them and to kill them?  Or do we stand up and say no?

It's not my choice ladies and gentlemen I have made my choice.  Because I did make it through my life.  I got there in 1993.  When my darling Aileen was dying of cancer and she was not able to tell anyone, including me.  But I got there.  And I fell in love with her.  And I gave my life to her in every way possible.  I gave her my support I gave her my belief I gave her every ounce of my effort and did so with a happy heart.  And did so realizing it was the greatest honor God has ever given me.  In spite of the monsters in my life but tried to beat me down and to destroy me.  Just like these neighbors in my neighborhood are trying to do right now.  So I made my choice.

But that's not the ultimate question ladies and gentlemen, because the ultimate question really comes down to is it worth it?  Because it's not about me at about all the other boys and girls in this world.  My age and younger all the way down to this young man and even younger still.  The ones who are using every ounce of their drive in every ounce of their soul to keep going.  While we have monsters in this world just like these ugly monsters in my neighborhood who are dedicated to murdering them and eating them and bullying them to a point where they will either kill them or they will drive them that killing themselves and every time we let that happen we destroy the synchronicity in the connectivity of that child's life.  We destroy every opportunity that child might ever have to be a friend to someone else to fall in love with someone else to be there for them when they are dying.  And if we do that, what does that say about us?

It's easy to laugh at me and call me stupid.  It's easy to tell lies about me.  People of done that all my life.  And if I would have paid attention to their filthy lying or given into their bullying and their beating me down.  I would have never made it to 1993, where I looked into my darling Aileen's eyes.  And I knew in every ounce of my soul I knew she was my perfect moment.  She was my synchronicity, she was my connectivity.

So how many more children are we going to murder and beat down and bullying and destroy just because we are giving in to these liars in these monsters and believing their filthy ugly lies?  How many more lives of these children are going to be destroyed.  Because we are going to believe the filthy lying of these monsters just like these ugly neighbors in my neighborhood who tell lies about me?  Because every time we do, we don't destroy just that person's life that these ugly monsters are trying to destroy would destroy thousands of other lives in the process.  Every single life that young boy or girl might ever encounter, where they might ever have the chance to do any good in this world.  And who knows.  When we destroy that child, who actually knows if that child might have actually grown up and later in life found their own perfect moment.  Just like I found mine, that one single soul in this world, desperately searching for them.  Like my darling Aileen was desperately searching for me.

When we destroy that life we take away that synchronicity and that connectivity.  Just like these horrible monsters in my neighborhood would like to destroy me.  Just like it so easy for people to laugh at me and call me stupid or call me a dirty Jew or call me a number of other ugly names, because I live as a transgendered female.  It's always so easy.  Because these horrible monsters to support and promote hatred never really think about any kind of synchronicity or connectivity except their own.  Because they always feel they are better than everyone else, which is why they feel they have the right to beat our children into the ground to beat them up to bully them to drive them to suicide or to tell them.  Which is exactly what happened to this young man.

Which brings us right back to the very same question.  Is it worth it?