Are We There Yet?

Are We There Yet?
This is the sign that is over the front door of Aileen's and my house, our home, going OUT. Meaning that when someone leaves our house they are going into the ACTUAL Mental Ward.

I've always felt that way. When it is considered how much ugliness and killing and hatred there is in the world today, it actually makes perfect sense that this sign is over the door going out of the house.

Because that's where the real mental ward is.

Friday, March 15, 2013

Looking out the Back Window

I am bound to be somewhat more reactive or perhaps involved at certain times of the calendar year versus others.  I mean, my darling Aileen became ill or was it least to those publicly as being ill with liver cancer.  On March 20, 2010.  At which point they said that she only had two months to live.  And I told her that nobody knew anything.  But this was up to her.  So consequently there are times during the year, partially because of how long we were married with each other and of course how much we love each other.  We are each other's heart beat.

Anyhow, finally beginning to feel a bit more comfortable being here in the house.  Of course I have good days and bad days.  The one thing I did was to go back to using the chair will actually than doubled sure method for sleeping.  It's just in better shape, and more comfortable.  But I did want to share that with the Journal in case any of you are curious as to where I do a list stuff in my Journal.  I sometimes think that people who are reading my Journal have a picture in their mind of me working on this little computer.  In this chair in this little tiny quiet park right in the middle of 100 volcanoes going off at the same time.  (Just kidding).

But really.  It all comes down to the position of my spine, while I sleep.  That's all.  No big deal.  But like I've said before, I'm still really amazed that with the government yelling and screaming about how we are running out of money that suddenly they now have the most or one of the most expensive benefit packages in the history of this nation.  I just wish I knew where they got the money.  I mean, if the government is really out of money and cutting all the services and where did they get the money to have this huge benefit package?  I mean, if it's true.  That we're running out of money, so there's really no money around for the government to use.  Except the members of Congress somehow found some money to use so that they get a much bigger benefit package.  Like one of the largest in the history of this country.  So it's just natural that we the people of this country who are actually the employers of the members of Congress would basically like to know.  Where did they get the money?

Not to mention the fact that while it is good that they passed the domestic violence act in Congress showing their support.  That act is important, absolutely.  I just wish there was a better network in place so that we could finally eliminate this national tragedy.

Anyhow, the headset microphone I'm using is working a lot better and not having to strain my voice is much.  Plus it's more accurate.  And as I said earlier, judging from the differences between Dragon NaturallySpeaking version 12 home edition as compared to premium and premium actually isn't over the top as far as features, but what it does have are those extra features that can be taken for granted because they were actually included in as part of Dragon NaturallySpeaking version 10.  Or at least in version 10 from what I was looking at.  There were more to a certain extent of the services in the home edition down there are now.  But in any event, the premium edition has things like multiple profiles and so forth.  And as a result, anyone using Dragon NaturallySpeaking 10 at this time it's basically a tossup.  Because if your system is doing well in version 10, which I believe is a central core program.  Then, version 12 might be more of the same of version 11.  Being a multi-core program, which of course was a problem on my machine before.

But in any event, as I said, it's interesting that on the Dragon NaturallySpeaking website.  The only available downloads for Dragon NaturallySpeaking at this time are version 10.  And of course if you purchased version 12.  But there is no down link or reference to version 11.

But like I said, I'm probably going to go ahead and test out version 12 sometime this summer.

One of the things I do best is I am able to analyze pieces of information.  I can analyze just about anything.  So where the past 20 years, with one computer or another over those years with my darling Aileen.  I was reading and still am between 200 and 300 news articles a day.  So in all those articles there were a number of different types of stories that seemed singular in nature.  And yet in reality have a tremendous synchronicity.  But the reality is discussing that synchronicity is probably a very bad idea because understanding the information doesn't resolve the information or resolve the situation.  And the situation is that the environmental conditions on the planet are at the very least becoming more challenging.

Furthermore, as I said, it anyone who's reading this Journal can look on the right-hand sidebar of this Journal page under my more significant or most significant Journal entries under that heading.  There is an article for the nuclear accident in Japan.  And it's entitled what's really going on in Japan.  It was done three days after the nuclear accident approximately.  And if you read that article, you will see that every single thing that I said was going to take place did in fact occur.

Plus, I also met with Dr. Al Armstead of NASA, who was a very good friend of my darling Aileen's father, Dr. Lynn Albers.  And Dr. Armstead actually is one of the leading physicists in the nation.  I only had an occasion to meet with him one time socially, which turned into a very interesting discussion.  But the point is that understanding why things are taking place is not going to help us resolve the things that are taking place.  Only the evidence of why things are happening is going to really help us figure knowing the exact cause isn't going to help us at all.  But the signs of what are the causes is what we used to be able to figure out how to slow it down or change it.

Obviously were not doing a very good job.  So as I said, according to all the estimations this summer, the warmer temperatures in the Northern have as her might go approximately as high as perhaps 5 to 7° hotter than last year.  That seems to be the consensus from what I have been reading.  Additionally, the other thing is that I've seen a number of articles talking about various forms of melanoma.  And there is an explanation for that but again, that's not to do any good.  It's not going to do any good at all.  The fact is that sunlight is changing as it reaches the planet and has nothing to do with those of.  But the bottom line is that if you go outside.  You should have a very good sunblock or not have any exposed skin and wear a hat and a have more than 60 minutes exposure.  Which actually makes sense.  But it's going to be warmer and there are things happening.  The unfortunate side effect is that humanity is acting like a deer in the headlights because all we are doing is arguing about it and we're not seeing the oncoming speeding train.  And I'm not talking about the end of the world or anything like that.  I'm talking about changes that have been taking place for a number of centuries.  Mostly as a result of the Earth itself going to process changes but also because of what we have been doing to each other and to the planet.

But at this point trying to figure out why the bottle of ketchup tell on the floor isn't going to get the bottle of ketchup off the floor.  Meaning, we should stop fighting about why it happened or if it happened.  And start paying attention.  Because if the environmental conditions continue, however slowly or quickly or how ever, inconsistently becomes more negatively oriented or has a more negative impact than conditions that are already becoming somewhat strenuous are going to be even more so.  And according to the articles I've read, depending on how April goes as far as whether that this will basically depend whether sunlight will become more intense during the last week and a half in May or beginning later around the beginning of the second week of June.

But these are changes.  Just like with domestic violence.  We don't want to talk about the hard things.  We'd rather talk about stuff that doesn't really have much meaning.  Like money.  Not that I say that if we don't have money we could still exist, which we could.  But we've chosen not to.  But with all the arguing on and on about money were not pay attention to some of these other things.  Like how in most of the products that we use there is one level of carcinogen or another.  Like how when I wrote the article about the nuclear accident in Tokyo I talked about how the groundwater was going to be affected.  Which it appears it really is.  Which of course affects the water table throughout the different areas of the world because all the water is in one way or another connected.

So all of a sudden we're seeing a huge surge in all forms of cancer all over the world.  But I explained in that article.  When the accident happened that this was going to be one of the side effects.  All you have to do is read.  The facts are right there.

So instead of us fighting about money and fighting about, whatever else we can come up with.  There are real dangers that we are facing part of what we have created ourselves and partly because what you're just going through that if we don't start paying attention.  Life is going to get a lot more strenuous.  And I don't mean emotional or spiritual life.  I mean physical life.  We have to address these issues that we are partially responsible for.  Just like dropped the world we as humans are responsible for this horrible war on women were millions and millions of being beaten or raped and murdered every year.  It's all about responsibility, but that's something that the world doesn't have a lot of these days.  Which is okay.

As I said people are going to do what they want.  That's all there is to it.  So the United States continues to want to try to tear itself apart, with all of this divisive behavior, while things around them are sort of slightly coming unglued.  Then sitting back and watching those I don't see much difference between what we are going through and what Emperor Nero went through.  Do you?

It's like I always say.  Who is stupid?  Is the child who is putting their finger in the Dyke trying to prevent a flood.  The one who is stupid?  Or are the people walking by that child laughing at that child putting their finger in the Dyke, stupid?

Because that's what it comes down to.  There are a lot of explanations for why some of these things are going wrong.  And there really is easy to understand explanations things that people wouldn't normally think about or think of.  But the right in front of us.  But knowing those explanations isn't going to do a damn thing about getting us to stop fighting about it and actually trying to do something about it.  Just like with domestic violence or child abuse.  Just like with almost anything else that we can possibly discuss.  Because these days.  It almost seems like discussion doesn't exist.  It's all-out war right from the outset.

In the dynamics of that go in a completely different direction.  But the reality is as long as all were doing is fighting nothing is going to get done.  The only reason the money got done is because everybody cares about money.  That's what took so long to get the domestic violence against women act passed.  Just like it's hard to get the United States or other nations to take seriously the needs of the mentally ill.  Or just anything else.  When not paying attention to ourselves were not paying attention to the planet were fighting about ourselves and the planet.  And almost anything else except where money is concerned.  And although I were doing that around those various conditions, socially and anthropologically and environmentally are changing.  And in rather negative ways.

So we do we get out of the barn and get some water, because the bar is on fire or were going to stay in the barn and it's going to burn down all around us.  And it's not going to be fun.  I've never stood inside a burning garden as it was crashing down all around me but I just don't really think it's something I could ever get insurance for.

Which means we have to stop.  We have to stop trying to kill each other and hate each other and realize that if we don't withdraw to the left, if the potentiality of what appears to be taking place actually has the degree of potentiality that appears to have.  Under those conditions which again is in a state of semi-flaccid this point as to how potential or to what degree of potentiality there is.  But in any event, along those lines was left just is not going to be a real fun time on the planet.  Because of these massive anthropological and sociological and environmental changes continue to move in the direction they are those changes are going to impact humanity unilaterally regardless of culture regardless of economic status regardless of any other of these idiot variables that we create.  Which means depending on the degree of severity of whatever changes may in fact be taking place in the sequence and/or interaction of those changes.  It's conceivable that entire societies, let alone countries and governments could become extremely fragmented.  Like, some might not even exist

Again, that's in a potentially moving in the direction of worst-case scenario or worst-case scenario and the potentiality of that again is in question because of a number of other elements that are still in a state of flux.  But the potentiality does exist that humanity could become severely diminished as a result of all these changes taking place.  Which means we are standing right in the middle of that burning barn and all we are doing is arguing about whether the barn is actually on fire.

As I have repeatedly explained in this Journal.  Things like the foregoing are not about me.  At 62 years of age, having lost Aileen.  As I have said these are however many years and there are or whatever timeframe there is the last amount of years or the last time frame I am going to be in this world.  And of course that's true for every single one of us.  I'm just incredibly more conscious of that of course because I watched my darling Aileen died horribly of liver cancer during those eight months.  And that changed me to change may dramatically.  It changed me in every way conceivable.

But Aileen and I had worked for those 18 years shoulder to shoulder for these various human rights issues and environmental issues.  As I've said.  She was the activist and I was the advocate.  But that's immaterial.  The fact is that the conditions I'm explaining are actually happening.  And if all we are going to do is to deny what is taking place.  Then the outcome of what is taking place.  We are going to end up deserving as a result of our own disregard and potential denial.  Which seems to be expressed with this unbelievable amount of conflict and polarization in almost every aspect of human life.

So either we stop fighting over this small bit of rock in the water.  While we are all scrambling to get above the water line or hardly anyone is going to be left on the rock.  When the water finally gets higher.  Figuratively speaking.

To all about choices and values.  And it's about making better choices.  And that gets complicated.  Because everybody has different priorities.  Or a different sense of certain priorities.  Then you have to throw in the perspectives of symptomatic logic versus problematic logic.  And you begin to see how difficult it's going to be trying to get humanity to understand its own denial and its own conflict.  When in reality, humanity is not only acclimated to those kinds of conflicts.  But in fact derives upon them.

Like I said.  Peter we stop arguing about whether the barn is on fire or were going to be inside one that thing crashes down on us.  And it's not me that it's going to crash down on because I probably won't be here.  But our children will our future will.  And if all we define our future is in terms of money than our future will be bankrupt.  The animal species are having issues meaning other animal species other than the animal of human beings.  Those stories are legion.

So I taken a few days to reorganize the den and my life and the system, because I'm starting to finally feel like I actually own this house, which has been a really huge concept to get around in my head.  And with some of the other things that are taking place like maybe getting finally some transportation to get to the Dr. and maybe little help around the house plus finally getting then the brakes on my knee all these things all number of other things altogether.  Probably millions of little elements just like with any one of us.  Because we all go through different things in our lives from one month to the next and were bombarded with millions and millions of pieces of information most which were not even conscious of that govern the way we react and express yourselves in any given situation.

So for my part.  That's how my life is just like anyone else's.  Only in my house.  My wife is dead, her ashes are in the next room.  And people have seen her in the house.  I haven't others have.  I have felt her in the house.  I guess we have conversations sometimes.  And every single morning I go over to reactions in my kiss those ashes.  Just Lancaster before she died, and the strangest thing is that almost 2 and half years after she died every time I kiss those ashes.  Not only can I see her almost physically.  But I can feel her physically kissing me back.

So I talk about some of these real problems lie with going on in Congress were what's going on in this nation or domestic violence or suicide so mentally ill the rights of the poor or out two thirds of the homeless population in the United States are American veterans.  Why died about these issues, whether in the United States are globally the fact is that it's not about Aileen and I it's about all of you.  And I don't mean people that are about my age, I mean, in a generation younger than us.  And in the generation younger than them and in future generations.  It's about you.

If you guys can't stop fighting, if you can't stop trying to kill each other long enough to realize things are doing with the out-of-control and not just with our human condition.  But throughout the world and of those conditions continue to have the same degree of negative impact that they have so far.  Things are going to be not so pleasant.  So if you are walking along a trail on a mountain slope.  And you found something that could cause someone else.  Some degree of difficulty you have two choices.  You can either walk by that thing and ignore it.  And thereby have the presence in your mind that you don't really care whether that's person walking by has a problem with that same thing or not.

Or, if you see that thing on the trail that could cause someone else.  Some degree of difficulty you fix that thing on the trail or you mark that thing on the trail.  So if you can't fix it, you flag get so that the next passerby on the trail will either not be confronted with that particular difficulty or will be aware of the difficulty and have their own chance to either fix it or flag it for the next person.

So it is on a mountain trails always humanity.  If we from one generation to the next can't fix any of this stuff that we were left with or improve on those things that we are not giving our children a world that they can in fact built on we are giving them a world they need to fix.  So it's not about me.  Hell no.  At 62 years of they would've the stuff I've got going on.  Who knows.  I might live to be 100 or I might drop dead next month.  But I don't think so.  But it's not important.  What's important is what we leave behind, whether we improve on what we have and what I'm doing that and were not doing that at a time when it's really much more critical that we not do that than ever before.  But we don't see that.  Because we're too busy chasing money.  And then we wonder why the world is about to blow up in our faces.

So consequently, like I said, we are either going to get it right or things are going to get just not really a lot of fun.  And it's our own fault.  We can do better.  We can be friends.  We can pay attention.  There were only a handful of people at the time of the nuclear accident in Tokyo who were saying exactly the same thing I was and that I was saying that same thing as they were.  And that was all about how the water table and potentially the food chain would in fact be affected.  And when you look at the recent news stories over the past 13 months about different forms of manufacturing the product for making and the medications were taking and so forth.  It becomes very evident that the nuclear accident in Tokyo and the radioactive material leaking into the water table is in fact having some effect or an affect on various forms of manufacturing our products, to some degree the water table in the food chain.

So in other words, there were people trying to explain what was really going to happen and no one took him seriously.  And now all of a sudden, what they said was going to happen is happening and no one wants to believe them even though it's happening.  That's denial.  When two people argue they are never arguing about what they are really angry about.  At least on the surface.  They may be yelling at each other over a parking space.  But in reality they are actually angry about something else that they are just not talking about.  And the only time people argue was when they are scared scared of not getting what they want.  So there you go of course the excuse for arguments gets down to skin color political party religion as the city global location.  It doesn't matter.  We argue about money, we argue about almost everything we can because it's easier.  But it's not working.  Nothing is getting done and the only thing that is getting done or things that have to do with money away not paying attention to the real causes of why these things are happening to you for paying so much attention to the symptoms that were just not understanding the true nature of why these things are happening.  So whenever addressing the root cause, which is fixing one symptom after another.

Symptomatic thinking versus problematic thinking.  Thinking that is reactionary or symptomatic as compared to thinking that is anticipatory or problematic.  Symptomatic thinking chooses to attempt to deal with the major cause of any given problem by attacking the various symptoms problematic thinking actually looks at the actual cause of whatever is going on in conjunction with all of the systems in addition to that affect of all of those symptoms upon all other aspects of what those symptoms interact with or have synchronicity to.  And much more pervasive look at the problem rather than the linear or reactionary symptomatic thinking.

But that as I said, is a very difficult thing to talk about coherently from one culture to the next level own get people to understand the dynamics of in order to be able to give humanity a better chance of choosing not to destroy itself.  Rather than to behave like a train wreck that humanity is currently acting as.  Because that bar is on fire.  That speeding train is coming toward us.  But we don't pay attention, if we don't stop arguing and start trying to make this thing work.  Meaning the human experiment than human experiments going to change probably in ways we just don't really want to see.  It has to.  We are just one of the animals on this planet.  The other animals are being affected by everything going on in this world, in conjunction to what we are doing.  It only follows is we are in fact, one of the animals on this planet that we will be affected to some degree and possibly in one form or another.  Just like the other animals in this world are being affected, all things being true.

So the bar is on fire and all we are doing is arguing about whether the burning.  And then we wonder why stuff starts happening.  Not a good idea.  Not really a good idea.  You don't check to see if the elevator car is the air after you stepped through the doorway.  Not when she got really strong ankles.

Were not even looking before we take the leap we are rushing to judgment were blaming Medicare for skyrocketing when in reality the cause for Medicare going opposite cancer cases in the United States are at probably the highest level ever.  There are more amazing medical advancements being made giving survival rates of various cancers incredibly more positive potential.  But the level of cancer cases is pretty much out of control.  And the best that we can do is blame the money.  Blame the symptom not the cause.  Because the cause is a cancer cases of other diseases are skyrocketing so fast that Medicare is going up as well and if we were smart a set of attacking Medicare we be looking at why the hell all these diseases including cancer are increasing at the rate they are.  And we be saying okay, let's fix that.  If we fix that the money will take care of itself.  But were doing it backwards.

Don't actually as I have already said many times before, I love every single human being in this world, past president future regardless of what they have ever done intentionally or otherwise.  And I loved every single person in this world just as much as I love my darling Aileen.  Only of course in a very different and special way but just as powerfully and it's just as much.  How could I not?  I don't care what anyone says during that last week at Malachi house.  That energy that we all call by so many different names as God was right there in the room.  That's all I can say.  If you're in that situation where the presence of whatever energy there is beyond this world is right there in the room with you do know it's a much different experience than you probably get every day.  So if you're smart, you pay attention.

Either we stop what we are doing with all his hatred of negative behavior toward one another major we start taking responsibility for each other and learn how to compromise or were just not going to do real well.  But don't believe me.  Please don't believe me.  Read that article I wrote at the time of the nuclear accident in Tokyo, which is located on the right-hand column of this page in the section entitled my significant Journal entries.  When you do.  That's all I can say.  Just read that article and you'll see that what I was talking about and what others are were talking about the same time.  What all of us realized was exactly what is happening right now.  And that is not said, for we were right, everyone was Ron that's not said that way it's said because if we could see it.  Why couldn't others.  That's the perspective.  Because it was visible to everyone.  If you paid attention to the details it was visible at the moment of that nuclear accident to see exactly what's happening now.  Everything you need to be able to draw that conclusion and see the pattern and see the progression is exactly what happened visible to everyone.

And that's what's remarkable.  That so few people really see the sequence.  Even though it is so visible.  And that's how a lot of things are right now in the world people are not looking at the sequence of meteorological displayable vents pursuant to various Earth's climate potential changes.  Just like I not seeing the details pursuant to any of those times.  The loss of one animal species over a year or the change of another over here very well may have certain synchronicity to various environmental changes taking place.  Or vice versa or in fact, it is probably an informational exchange and existence exchange a change of the existence of one aspect of life as compared to another.  They are being affected and so are we.  They are not in denial of what is happening.  We are.

They're getting out of the way of the speeding train.  We're standing there looking at the speeding train deciding whether or not, it's really coming.

So it's okay.  If that's what people want.  That's what people will get.  For my part.  It doesn't matter.  It doesn't matter.  Because when I go I go back into the arms of my darling Aileen.  I just know that's true, and I cannot put it into words.  But it's true, I mean, I died in 1968.  That is a fact people could sit here all my life and deny it for as long as I live.  But that's not going to mean that it's false, it just means that they are denying it.  Just because someone does not see the validity of truth in what I might say does not mean that the truth than speaking has no validity.  It simply means that the people who are saying that it has no validity are not seeing the validity or the potential of the validity within the truth.  And that's all it means.

So, I know what happened.  And I saw stuff and I learned how to do things.  And when you read some of the things I've written over the years I haven't really been wrong in what I've been talking about and that does not make me in any way better.  It never has it makes me strange.  It makes me different but not better.  As I've always said I am the lowest form of life and God never threw down on this rock.  And that's fine.  I don't have a problem with that.  People, humanity, are having a problem with all sorts of things right now.  And if humanity does and wise up and stop acting so primitive.  And so conflicted.  Humanity is going to find that they're going to wake up one morning and try to get through the day is just going to be one hell of a lot more difficult.

And like I said it's not going to affect me or Aileen.  She's already on the other side of the veil.  At 62.  Maybe I'll be around for the beginning of the but I don't think I'm going to be 100 years old.  If I do I want to start wearing a T-shirt with a target on it when I'm 90.  (Just kidding).  I mean, really.  Let's look at the facts.  With the junk I have going on right now.  Does anyone really think I want to be 90 years old, with his idiotic garbage going on in my body?  How about, I'd rather stand on the service of mercury without any kind of space suit.  Or how about I'd rather be tried to pick up ON the highway during rush hour, and everyone's drunk so no.  I don't want to live to be 100 years old.  But who knows.  The fact still remains that even if I am here for some of it or even whatever part or if I'm not here at all doesn't matter.  Because the things are still going forward the things are still behaving disproportionately and erratically and they still are indications of things that this kind of activity is not good.  Sociologically anthropologically and in every other way and environmentally and every single way.  These things that are taking place are not good.  Global and Earth history cultural history error reach single thing we have for all the years we've been around more than documents that every single thing were going to right now is not a good thing to be doing.

So here we are doing exactly that.  Standing right here on the tracks looking at that train coming at us and thinking that we can just go ahead and stand here because we don't even know if it's coming so were to argue about whether it's coming or not, while this thing is barreling down the tracks I was at 200 miles an hour.  Which is okay.  If that's what humanity wants.  No problem.  Doesn't bother me.  It doesn't matter to me how I cross over from this world to exist in the total spectrum of consciousness.  It just doesn't bother me.  Because no matter how I go.  I'm still going to go to the same place.  One of which is back into the arms of my darling Aileen.  The other person might go to the nearest bar.  (Just kidding).  But really, it's really not about me.  It's about this place.  It doesn't matter what argument I might use.  Because none of the arguments have worked.  Humanity is in this huge amount of denial and polarized conflicted distended thinking extremely flat minded thinking reactionary thinking linear thinking.  And yet that kind of thinking is also in conflict, which goes to kinds of energies are always and always have been in conflict.  But the degree in the proportion of those two aspects of thinking are in conflict now in the world is having a tremendous amount of negative impact on every aspect of the world.

Me will clean up our act things are just going to get even worse.  But don't believe me.  I'm not afraid to die.  Now this is significant.

As I said my darling Aileen was actually dying of cancer in 1991 and never told anyone whatsoever.  I met her in 1993 we fell madly in love and we were together deliriously for 18 years in a love that is so profound that it now just gets larger every day.  So, the very week before March 21, 2010.  When Aileen was lying on the sofa in the living room resting after she'd just gotten up to she was a little tired.  I walked over to her and I said, the following.  I said Aileen you going to listen to this because I'm only going to say at once.  And she said, I don't want to hear it.  And I said we are going to listen to this bizarre moment of us at one time.  And she said fine.  And I said to her, I mean, I love you enough to watch you die, but you don't have to do that.  And I was talking about her battle with alcoholism as a result of all the things you had gone through and the different issues.  She had going on, and even then I did not know she had cancer, because she had told no one.  From 1991.  And that was said just one week early of when she was publicly told she had cancer.  So naturally, that has followed me in the back hallways of my brain.  And I look at that one remark as evidence that this energy beyond this world that all of us call by so many different names as God was actually present right in the room at that moment.  Unless you want to give in to possible paranormal forms of expression.  Because somehow or other I made a statement about Aileen's condition and her life situation raised only on the information I knew yet in actuality relevant to every bit of information that was regarding Aileen and much more pertinent than anything I was consciously aware of their so either I got it through some kind of paranormal experience or that energy that is beyond this world that we call by so many different names as God was probably in the room.

And that's not really that strange.  It happens all the time and has happened all the time through history.  We just don't really pay attention much to it or we may try to make money off of it but we really don't pay attention to the significance of it.  Just like without paying attention to the significance of what we're doing to ourselves and this planet, which is why nothing is getting done.  But you can't tell people anything.  All you can do is remember the jubilee doors to water but you can't make him drink.  Which is really tried but it's pertinent it's the most applicable thing to say.  Because we are fighting ourselves.  We all realized any of the negative impact of we are doing or what is actually taking place on its own were not paying attention were looking at them symptomatically and seeing only the symptoms of what's actually going on and were attacking the symptoms without attacking the cause or without understanding the cause are paying attention to the cars to consequently, anything we might apply to the symptoms has less effectiveness.

I mean, again, the answers during is right in the face.  The answers are obvious.  And that's what makes me sad and makes me somewhat frustrated.  Because I know that I'm not the only one who can see what is going on and what is taking place.  But there is so much conflict and there's so much confusion and mistrust and distrust with a host of other  thingsare primarily as a result of our symptomatic perspective, which ends up keeping is very limited and focused more on the limits than on the actual growth or progress of evolutionary advancement.  Intellectually, spiritually and in every other way.  So are actually focused more on the train wreck than on the train that is approaching to the train wreck.

And that's not good.  But like I said, when you have the current kinds of political environments going on.  In addition to the environmental things taking place.  It's not real good recipe for constructive thinking, or possibly progressive thinking.  It's just not.  The struggle with the in our is one good example.  The struggle between political parties or social groups or countries nations, cultures, you name it struggles in our own personal lives.  It's all the same.  Because the kind of thinking is more pervasive.  Meaning one kind of thinking are one the logical perspective were one view of the world.  Which means one form of application pursuant to the world is primarily of one kind of thinking.  The minority is the other kind of thinking.  And the two are in conflict.  So if we don't get a handle on those conflicts were screwed.  But at the same time that conflict between those two types of energies actually goes on throughout the entire universe every second in various proportions and in various ways and in various places in the universe.  It's just part of how things function.  There is that exchange between the two different polarities of the same energy.  In any of the physical nomenclature pursuant to that kind of conflict is about some of the most antiquated and superstitious thinking that is imaginable, which is why it is ridiculous to use those kinds of terms.

But that's what's happening.  And we don't have a handle on the conflict were not taking any measures to deal with the conflict were not aware that we are in conflict to the extent that we are at least on the particular conscious level, where we need to be in order to be able to deal with the conflict because were not looking at it that way were looking at it systematically from a very linear standpoint rather than problematically pursuant to being anticipatory of the conditions continuing whereby we would be looking more pervasively at the root cause of the condition but were not doing that were behaving in a reactionary manner looking at simply the symptom of the condition and attempting to deal with the symptoms thinking that by doing so we will do with the root cause and that's not working.

No problem.  If that's what humanity wants that's when humanity will get because that's what's happening in the future would just get worse.  It won't be much fun and we won't do very well.  And neither will our children, and neither will the world on the other hand, we could put up and shut up and stop acting like a bunch of babies and start acting like the sentient beings we are and realize that if we don't get out of the way that speeding train.  It's going to be messy.  In other words, we roll up our sleeves and we understand that regardless of what nation what nationality ethnicity or any other spurious criteria that we might apply that we are part of the human race and then if we don't try and understand those differences and put them aside as quickly as possible.  And the chances for us as a human species doing well are going to be diminished if by no other reason than by our own collective discard denial disregard negligence conflict arguments.  The more we spend time and all that junk the less time we have to be able to do anything about what's actually causing the problem.

And that is something Aileen and I have been working on all the way up to the moment she died and that I truly believe she'll say with now.  Because it's not about her and me.  It's about all of you it's about all of your families.  It's about all of our children it's about us as a human condition.  Maybe in another reality, what my actually happened is that this thing with the human condition to get so bad that what we ended up looking like losers with a birdlike feet.  (Just kidding).  But of course we get also and up looking like perhaps a bull for.  And I don't mean it the way it sounds.

It's up to us.  It's not up to anyone else.  It's not up to the next guy.  It's up to us.  And we don't do the work.  It's not going to get done.  And if it doesn't get done things are just going to get worse.  And if things get worse our children won't like us anymore.  Of course that's already true.  But that's neither here nor there.  The reality is if we don't fix what's going on it's going to get so bad that like I said, we're just not going to have any fun at all.

But like I said.  Most people see me and they think I'm either stupid or crazy.  All are they think that I am deluded or a host of other unbelievably silly be a manic phrases that people can come up with.  But I'm not.  But you will either think.  That's all.  I think a lot.  And I really do love this world and I love the human condition.  And if we don't fix what's broken or tried to at least put a lid on things than the human condition is just not really going to be anything anyone's going to want to have anything to do with because the conflict and the fragmentation of all this other junk is only going to get worse and it will be giving worse at a time when the planet is having possibly a little bit of difficulty of its own.  So, I said we do get out of the way that speeding train stop arguing whether or not it's on the tracks or lives going to get a lot more interesting.  And I probably won't be here.  But even if I am.

Aileen and I always had an agreement.  We always thought that if the world was actually going to blow itself up, that what we wanted to do is if we looked out our window and saw like 40 miles away the big mushroom cloud in the sky.  She and I would take a cigarette that was not lit.  And we would walk out to the porch in front of our home.  And we would put our arms around each other with our cigarette extended.  And we would simply say, light me.

That was our attitude.  So consequently, I am the same way.  I've dealt with pain all my life.  And I've dealt with living between life and death every single second since I was 17.  Plus I died for five minutes.  This is not about me.  This is about always people all over the world really fantastic people of every walk of life of every kind of particular criteria we could ever apply.  People everywhere rich poor every ethnicity, every nationality every nation doesn't matter.  So, what about them?

I mean, if we are all in this one hallway which we are.  We are all in this one huge gigantic hall way.  Some of us can actually see the end of that hallway.  And some of us can even see a door at the end of the hallway.  But most of us just see the hallway.  But here we are in this hallway together.  Because that's the reality.  So what's our excuse for not turning over to the person next to us and saying hello?  I mean, they were all going to the same place.  If we are all in this hallway going in the same direction.  Then what's the harm in simply saying hello to each other.  Because we are all going to the same place the same common experience.  Where the consciousness that is inside our bodies suddenly won't be inside our bodies, but will be part of the entire stream of consciousness throughout everywhere.  And we call that death.  So we are all in the same hallway and yet we don't have the guts to say a little each other because we're too busy fighting with each other.  And as a result, nothing is getting done and we are standing in the front of that speeding train.  Things are getting worse in every way conceivable.  Because we would rather argue about the problem then fix the problem.

And that's pretty much where we are.  I'm going to try and get some rest and will probably try to write tomorrow.

Thank you very much for listening.