Are We There Yet?

Are We There Yet?
This is the sign that is over the front door of Aileen's and my house, our home, going OUT. Meaning that when someone leaves our house they are going into the ACTUAL Mental Ward.

I've always felt that way. When it is considered how much ugliness and killing and hatred there is in the world today, it actually makes perfect sense that this sign is over the door going out of the house.

Because that's where the real mental ward is.

Friday, February 1, 2013

System Update: Comprehensive

Dragon NaturallySpeaking:

After a lot of consideration I have gone back to using the Logitech headset microphone for a number of reasons.  To begin with.  It is of course much more accurate than the desktop microphone.  But additionally, it is a great deal more comfortable than the Koss headset microphone.  And that is really a very big factor.  And, by going back to the headset microphone.  Not only am I increasing my accuracy.  But I am also making sure that I can continue to use Dragon NaturallySpeaking and have it work as effectively as I possibly can.  While at the same time being able to adapt to some of the changing needs in my own personal environment.

Additionally, because of how I have set my system up the meeting the tower or the box that actually the as it is going to various stages of processing.  And doing things in this matter.  Of course means that the loudness of the system, depending on its processing will not in fact affect my dictations.  Because the headset microphone doesn't really pick up as much extraneous environmental noise as does the desktop microphone.  So in all ways.  It is actually just a much better choice.

Web Browsers:

A few weeks ago I made the change and moved over to IE 9.  And I did so based on three different technical memos that I read regarding a new form of hacking that is taking place on the Internet, whereby as a result peripheral programs or support programs for web browsers were becoming the target instead of just the web browser itself.  However, in reviewing the technical papers that have come out since that time.  One thing that has happened is that Java has actually upgraded its security to the point where it is no longer vulnerable this new type of hacking.  In point of fact, the recent attack on the government website actually is one aspect of the new wave of hacking that is starting to show up.

So.  Because IE 9 is really so.  Extremely cumbersome to use.  Because it just is not very user friendly at all.  I have gone back to Firefox.  And I'm really glad I did.  Because the security add-ons that Firefox has are absolutely top drawer.  They are some of the best that you could possibly ever want.  And I have reviewed all of the potential options for security add-ons and have Ulster and the security of my system.  Meaning using Firefox.  At least threefold.

Again, the reality is, regarding browser safety is that browser safety really falls on the user.  Meaning you have to use common sense when you are browsing.  Which of course means you just don't go to websites that are known to have possible Trojans or that could in fact attack you.  But the other thing of course is to have a good antivirus program and also to secure your browser as much as possible.  And that is in actuality, where IE 9 sort of falls short of Firefox and Google Chrome.  Because Google Chrome and Firefox have add-ons that can bolster the security tremendously, where IE 9 just does not have very many add-on options.

And again, Firefox has always just been more comfortable for me, intellectually because it is much more in line with how my brain processes information and is set up more logically consistent with the way that I conceptualize and think as I am in fact browsing the Internet.  So that is really my main choice.


As I said before, I have gotten rid of Windows live writer.  And I did so because I just can't really stand how top-heavy a lot of the Microsoft products are.  The worst thing about Microsoft right now is of course Steve Ballmer.  He is just the absolute worst thing that has ever happened to the Microsoft Corporation.  He is selfish and self-centered.  And he is extremely control oriented to the point where he doesn't really give a damn about customers and giving customers what the customers want as much as he is concerned about getting what he wants.  Which is why Windows 8 has the look and the feel of Windows Vista.  And the reason for that is what you are looking at with Windows 8 is another creation of Steve Ballmer.  He of course did not do all of the technical aspect of the design of Windows 8.  But he is the one who basically set the agenda.  And as a result of setting the agenda, he has basically done the same thing that he tried to do with Windows Vista.  He tried to force operating system on the customers that the customers just don't want.

It's like I told.  Bill Gates actually not only is a fantastic computer genius.  But he's also a tremendously adept businessman.  Because he understands the basic principle of business which is to give customers what they want.  Steve Ballmer is almost exactly like Donald Trump.  He doesn't care how much money he loses of his own money as long as he gets what he wants.  Because he doesn't really care about the customers.  Which is exactly where Windows 8 came from.  Steve Ballmer is just basically hysterical about trying to compete against Google Chrome and Apple to the point where he is becoming his own worst enemy.  Because if you were actually thinking intelligently he would understand that Windows 7 is exactly what the customers want.  This is what Bill Gates totally understood when he was running Microsoft.  Because the customers really did like Windows XP.  And that is where Bill Gates and Steve Ballmer basically got into it.  Because Bill Gates was firmly behind the that Windows XP needed to be upgraded but he did not like the hysterical design regarding security that Ballmer was attempting to apply.  Windows 7 is more in line With the Way, Bill Gates, at least from how he has talked, wanted XP to upgrade.

So if Steve Ballmer were actually thinking intelligently he would put aside Windows 8.  Just like Windows and me and Windows 2000 and Windows Vista which were all failures.  And he would do exactly what Bill Gates did with Windows XP.  He would get behind Windows 7 and he would improve Windows 7.  Because it is exactly what the customers want.  There have been dozens of articles talking about Windows 7 becoming the new XP.  Which is true.  And every single report I have seen on Windows 8 draws tremendous comparisons between Windows 8.  And Windows Vista.  There are so many workarounds that are being published on the Internet right now with the technical papers regarding Windows 8.  That it's ridiculous.  You don't see those kind of workaround articles for Windows 7.  Or it because Windows 7 was where the software people of Microsoft basically told Steve Ballmer to just go away.  They told Ballmer to go away and let them do the work.  They know how to do.  And Ballmer realized.  Because of how badly Windows Vista was failing that he had no choice.  Which is how Windows 7 actually came about.

So basically what I see taking place is that Windows 8 will go through a kind of mutation where the problems that plagued Windows Vista will in fact be corrected in Windows 8.  But that Windows 8 is in a situation where its marketability is going to be somewhat limited.  Because again, computer users or customers are the key to any business.  And the majority of customers are not really fantastically keen on using a computer that they have to.  And they also don't want to have to buy all sorts of hardware or a new computer just to be able to use the new operating system, especially when you consider the level of unemployment and the.  Current state of the American market and the global markets.

No one with any brains is ever going to say that the desktop computer is still the main choice.  Because it's not.  The desktop computer is basically on the way out.  The new format of course is the laptop and these android phones and the iPhone or the smart phones are actually becoming the new laptops.  So in that regard the concept of a touchscreen computer in fact does make a certain amount of sense.  But trying to force that choice on consumers before they are ready.  Especially when the markets are so depressed is just the absolute worst marketing idea in the world.  Because again it's not giving customers what they want.  What customers want is to be able to use their computers without having all sorts of problems.  People don't like to have to constantly tweak their computers.  Just to make them work.  They don't like to have to make constant adjustments to their computer systems.  Just to have them operating correctly.

So consequently Windows 8.  The way it is right now.  I don't think is a really good idea.  However, given time.  Perhaps another three or four years.  Windows 8 very well may find a much broader marketing shared than it currently has.  But again, this depends on the consumer.  Because the baseline in marketing is the customer is always right.  Regardless of any kind of ego issues that Steve Ballmer or anyone else might have the baseline is the customer is always right.

So I would expect to see in three or four years Windows 7 mutating into a combination of Windows 7 and Windows 8.  As an operating system whereby the customer would be given the opportunity to either use the operating system.  As a touchscreen oriented system or to continue using their standard mouse and keyboard or their touchpad in order to operate their computer.  So under those circumstances.  Windows 8 is going to have to have some modifications made to get.  So that it will be more broadly defined in order to take into account the interests and the desires of the larger population of customers who are very comfortable with Windows 7.  And that gets back to exactly what Bill Gates understood about how to do business.  You give the customers what they want.

That's why I suggest strongly that Microsoft start getting back to the basic practices that the company was founded on by Bill Gates, which actually again is giving the customers what they want.  Bill understood that as he understands that now.  And that is where Windows XP came from.  And in reality, as I said, from everything I have read Bill was totally behind and upgrade to Windows XP.  But he was not behind an upgrade that was going to be so foreign to the customer that they were but I have lots of issues.  Just being able to try to use their systems.  Which is exactly what happened with Windows Vista.  So if Steve Ballmer wants to be smart he will get behind Windows 7 and make improvements with Windows 7, whereby in reality over four or five years.  Windows 7 will almost literally merged with Windows 8.  As an operating system giving customers the choice of whether or not to use their system as a touchscreen computer or to use their system with their standard peripheral equipment such as their standard mouse and keyboard.  That would be the smart move.

So in that regard, my personal plans are that I'm going to maintain my Dell XPS 410.  And continue using Windows 7.  I have no plans to upgrade to Windows 8 under any circumstances no matter what.  I would consider upgrading my Windows 7 operating system.  As it possibly changes in order to enhance or to possibly merge with Windows 8.  But I'm not going to switch from Windows 7 to Windows 8 because that's just the dumbest thing in the world.  I'm not going to go out and spend $200 on peripheral equipment just to use some operating system that I would have to then reached down to the end of my chaise lounge just to be able to touch the screen.  That's not going to happen.

So for myself.  I see my Dell XPS 410.  At one point simply becoming my television.  Because it really does a good job of doing exactly that.  And I see the android phone as literally becoming my second computer as a lap top.  Which it is almost doing at this point.  And that is where some of my personal habits are going through a process of change.  Because I have always been the kind of writer where whenever I would be extrapolating any kind of thesis regarding human rights.  I always would rely on source notes.  But because of the way that the blogosphere is changing.  I am now relegated my source notes to my side panels on my Journal page.  So that I can interface more easily with the blogger new post template.  And that of course is making things a lot easier.  Plus I'm using Dragon NaturallySpeaking which is an excellent program for being able to accomplish this.

So, over time you will probably see more and more posts being generated by my android phone.  Meaning my news posts rather than my desktop computer.  Although at this point.  It's about 50-50.

But the other side of it of course is that personally I have been going through a tremendous amount of personal growth and change.  As a result of losing my darling Aileen.  It has been one of the most significant moments in my entire life.  I have never gone through the kind of growth that I'm going through right now and have gone through over the last two years as a result of my darling wife dying.  But as I have explained just recently in two separate Journal articles I finally have gotten to a moment of closure on one of the most troubling aspects of why Aileen died.  And these are not answers anyone could provide for me because I had to work through them on my own.  And I'm not even going to hazard to say whether I did well or not.  Because in my mind, I don't think I did very well at all.  But I did the best I could.  That's all I can say.  I did the best I could.  I haven't even allowed myself to get in touch with my own feelings about all of this because I know that if I do I will end up in tears.  And that also is just not going to happen.  I've been crying almost solid often on for the last two years at least until the anniversary of Aileen is death meaning her second anniversary.

So as I said before my plan is to enhance and to expand the side panels to the point where there will be a lot more resource information for you, the reader.  And in addition, I'm going to be making some changes in my house where I'm going to have a better indoor outdoor thermometer so that I can continue my clock project with my Journal.  Plus I'm going to be doing more photographs in my Journal.  Plus I'm also going to do videos.  I've got lots of plans.  But everything has to be done in sequence.  Whether I like it or not that is exactly how it has to be done.  You can't go to positions six before you go to position five or position four.  Everything has to be done in sequence.

And that means I have to deal with a lot of the baggage that I have.  As a result of Aileen dying.  And the hardest promise I had to deal with of all the ones I have completed so far is this one promise of investigating to its conclusion the issues surrounding her September 2006 emergency room visit.  Evelyn and I have talked and Aileen never said a single word.  During the 18 years that we were married either to or Evelyn or to me about her having liver problems.  I suppose in a different reality I might be really angry that she never mentioned that to me.  But at the same time.  I can truly understand.  I really can't.  What might appear to some people as denial.  I don't think was.  I don't think Aileen was in denial of her condition.  Not at all.  I think she knew that the clock was ticking.  And I think that because she knew the clock was ticking that she also felt comfortable in her heart and her soul knowing that no matter what.  I would never turn my back on her.  I would never desert her.  Just like I know in my heart and my own soul that she is really pleased at what I have done.  I know she is.

And two friends that I have really not kept in touch with but have known since I was in college have both said exactly the same thing.  That in one regard my filing a complaint regarding the emergency room visit from September 2006 was basically to an extent hysterical.  But they also agree that it was absolutely necessary for me to do that in order to achieve closure.  I had to find out for myself.  What really took place.  And then when I did I gave it to the ruling authority for which is the Ohio medical board for them to be able to make the decision as to whether or not MetroHealth was expedient.  And as soon as I did that the choice or that promise I had made to investigating into its conclusion was immediately taken off of my shoulders.  I finally got that one choice done.  Thank God.  And when I say that tears to come to my eyes.  But they are not tears of sadness.  They are tears of joy.  Because I really am proud of myself that I finally got that one choice completed when in reality I wasn't really sure if I was ever going to be able to do that.  I knew in my heart that one way or the other.  I would somehow get to a point of resolution.  But I wasn't sure that I could actually get it done.  And that's remarkable.  Because I've never been confronted with anything in my entire life that I was not able to get done.  One way or the other.  The matter what.  I always got it done.  It's sometimes I ended up.  Someti tears ded up.  But I always got it done is just so unbelievably cleansing.

I just miss her so much.  I love her.  I love her more than my own life.  I love her with every ounce of everything I have ever been or will ever be.  That choice that one promise was really the hardest thing I have ever had to go through since what I went through during the second year in July and August in 2012.  I wrestled with that promise.  And that choice.  Like nothing I had ever struggled with before.  And to be sure.  It was painful.  You can bet your life on that it was extremely painful.  But I got it done.  And now I can move on to the next series of promises.  One of which is of course to move on with my life.

People see me as either being an Asshole or being crude or mean or spiteful or hateful.  When I'm not any of those things.  What I am and what I have been most of my life is tortured.  But I never allowed my internal demons to make me act out violently.  That I did not allowed to happen.  Because I am a pacifist.  And that will never change.

So it is.  Onwards and upwards from here.  And to say that I am grateful and deeply honored by all of you who are reading my Journal for the support you have given me by reading my Journal is a huge understatement.  Because I am.  And I shall always be eternally grateful to all of you.  Regardless of whether you communicate with me or not.  I will always be grateful to all of you for the attention and the fact that you are finding my Journal worthy enough to read.  That just means so much to me that I don't even have any way to put it into words.


Today with my check being released I will be engaged in paying the bills which I'm going to begin doing in a little while.  And then I have a lot of cleaning and household chores to do today.  But I will be posting.  I have to put together a legal letter regarding my final mortgage payment.  Which I will be doing later today.  Because that payment has to go out over the weekend.  So I will be around and things will move forward.  Sometimes fast sometimes slow.  But, ever onward.

Thank you so very much, with all my heart, dear God, thank you all so very much for listening.