Are We There Yet?

Are We There Yet?
This is the sign that is over the front door of Aileen's and my house, our home, going OUT. Meaning that when someone leaves our house they are going into the ACTUAL Mental Ward.

I've always felt that way. When it is considered how much ugliness and killing and hatred there is in the world today, it actually makes perfect sense that this sign is over the door going out of the house.

Because that's where the real mental ward is.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Wrestling with My Soul


As you can see by the thermometer, meaning my indoor outdoor thermometer, it's only 7° outside right now.  So it is definitely cold.  For this reason I am basically not going to be doing a lot of physical activity around the house.  Because I'm trying to basically lay low until the temperature moderates slightly.  This is supposed to happen later this week when the temperatures come back into the 20s.

However, now that I have the system fully set up.  Meaning my android phone.  I will be able to do a lot more pictures in the future.  And I really think that putting this clock into my Journal post is probably a very good idea.  It connects all of you with me.  Just a little bit more closely.  Because you're actually saying all conditions are right here at my home when I am doing my Journal articles.

I have explained.  I believe the number of times for now that I short while before it was found that my darling Aileen had cancer MetroHealth medical center actually had the opportunity to investigate what was wrong with my darling Aileen and to make a medical assessment.  This medical assessment took place in 2006.  And MetroHealth medical Center charged my wife and I $900 or services that were performed in the emergency room.  And during all of that testing Metro did not discover in any way that Aileen had cancer.  Then suddenly four years later, we're told.  Not only did my darling Aileen have cancer but that in fact she was going to die in two months.

I remember that I asked Dr. O'Brien who is the director of the cancer center at MetroHealth medical center whether or not.  If Metro had actually found the cancer which was fairly obvious means Metro is basically at the very least guilty of malpractice.  But I asked Dr. O'Brien whether or not finding the cancer in 2006 would have in fact made any difference in her longevity.  He said that it probably would not have made hardly any difference because the cancer was not being caused by simply her drinking.  The cancer actually was being caused by hepatitis C.  And as Dr. O'Brien explained to me with hepatitis C once it takes hold.  It's virtually impossible to stop.

So then the burden falls not only on MetroHealth medical center for not finding the cancer in 2006, when they put her through all those tests  and said  that she was healthy, even though she had Cancer in her liver at the time.  Meaning MetroHealth medical center was far more concerned with the money they were getting from my darling Aileen then they were with trying to save her life.  And it also means that even though I was begging my darling Aileen to go to the hospital in those years before 2010.  There is a part of me that feels I should have been stronger that I should have done more to get my darling Aileen to the hospital.  But I have never been one to try and force my will on other people.  All my life people have done that to me.  Force their will on me whether I like it or not.  So that would of course be the last thing I would ever want to do to anyone else.  After having been subjected to that all of my life.

Still, I wonder.  If I would have been stronger could I have saved my darling Aileen?  If I would have been stronger had gotten her to the hospital before 2010 would Metro had been able to save her life or at least extend it more?

And that is where faith comes in.  Not the kind of faith find in some common book church or synagogue or anything else.  The religions of our world actually do make a modest attempt of attempting to connect people to their spirituality as clumsy as our religions really are.  But more times than not the attempt that religion makes that embracing human spirituality ends up in disaster.  We know this is true.  Because if we look around the world today religion is not used in order to bring people together.  It is used as an excuse for people to murder each other and destroy each other's countries.  Because that is what takes place every day.  We don't see religions reaching out to one another.  The Muslims hate the Jews.  And the Jews, hate the Muslims.  And the Catholics and Christians hate everyone.  So naturally, when you have that kind of hatred being promoted and supported by the various religions, it becomes impossible for the religions to actually do anything positive as far as attempting to demonstrate the love on which they are based.  And so consequently, religion becomes the tool of the industrial militarized complex to the point where religion is just another weapon that the world has used to try and kill each other.  Which I said, is going on every day.

So when I talk about faith.  I'm talking about faith that doesn't have anything to do with the ugly violence that religion promotes and supports.  I'm talking about faith in one's own concept of spirituality, whether that person is an atheist or agnostic or of any particular religious or theological derivation doesn't matter.  Because when you're faced with an issue like what I'm looking at right now.  It comes down to what your real faith is.  Because I have to ask myself the question.  Is my investigation into whether or not MetroHealth medical center actually committed wrong against my wife in terms of wrongful death really worth the effort?

Already MetroHealth medical center has basically taking the attitude that they do not like the mentally ill in Cleveland.  Because MetroHealth medical center has set up rules so that no mentally ill person in Cleveland will have the right to be able to see their doctor for more than 15 min. and only once every three months.  And then to make things even more difficult MetroHealth medical center is going to charge anyone who is mentally ill $150 for 15 min. of conversation.  Just the way that MetroHealth medical center was so expeditious in their handling of my wife and 2006.  That would $900 worth of medical testing they did not find the cancer that was in actuality inside of her body at the time.  Which very clearly shows that MetroHealth medical center was far more concerned with how much money they can charge me and my wife than they were with providing any real legitimate medical care for my wife.  Because that cancer festered inside of her for four solid years and MetroHealth medical Center did not one single thing to save her life until they were absolutely forced to.

And then MetroHealth medical Center lie to me, meaning they misrepresented the truth with the intention to defraud me.  Because they lied when they said that the hospital chair that was going to be given to my wife would be free.  Because it was not.  And MetroHealth medical center and the state of Ohio and Dayton at going in.  But they wanted to hurt me and they wanted to hurt.  My wife is much as possible, because all the state of Ohio was concerned with and all that MetroHealth medical center was concerned with was getting the money not saving my wife's life.

And so consequently, within six months after my wife died.  The state of Ohio hit me with a bill of $40,000 of Medicaid that which where the Chargers for all of the hospice care that was given to my wife.  Hospice care that MetroHealth medical Center assured me was going to be free.  Meaning I would not have to pay the money back.  Which means they lied.  And so did the state of Ohio.  But they got what they wanted.  They got their money even though they actually had to allow my wife to die in the process.  Because that's how the medical system is if it comes to getting money or saving the life the medical system in the United States will always choose to get the money unless saving the life will actually do something for them as far as publicity.

And because my wife and I were basically very unimportant people in Cleveland MetroHealth medical center in the state of Ohio but it would be a great idea to simply let my wife die rather than to do anything legitimate to save her life and that while saving her life with.  They would do is make sure that they can screw me anyway they could and they did.

So here I am faced with this reality that MetroHealth medical center is now in violation of Ohio and federal law because they are basically taking the attitude that they will not release my medical records for transfer until I pay them $150 for 15 min. of conversation with my psychiatrist and MetroHealth medical center is taking the attitude that they will not allow me to have any medical care whatsoever with my mental health professional.  Except for 15 min. every three months and that they will make those 15 min. is expensive as possible to make sure that I have as little access to medical care.  As they possibly can deprive me of.  And that's because the medical community.  Like I said when given a chance to take money from someone or save their life.  They will always make the choice of taking the money from the person because they don't really give a damn about saving their lives unless it will be expeditious for them or advantageous for them as far as publicity or notoriety.

So on the one hand, if I go forward with any kind of investigation into why MetroHealth medical Center chose to allow my wife to die and to miss treat her the way they did.  I will probably not be allowed to see anyone in the medical community in Cleveland ever again.  Because that's how the medical community works.  It's a fraternity and they all stick together.  So if you ever dared to speak out about something wrong in the medical community the medical community will turn around and tell you to simply go to hell and die.  Because if you dare to try to challenge the medical community.  They will bring out their lawyers and they will spend millions and millions of dollars to make sure that you look ridiculous.  And that they look guiltless no matter what.  Which is why there are so many people in the United States who are basically murdered by the medical community every year at the medical community covers up.  Because the medical community is far more interested in the money they are taking from people that in saving their lives.

Just like the medical community doesn't really give a damn about public health as much as they are much more concerned with turning American citizens into medical consumers because it's all about money not about saving lives.  And I know that's true because I'm looking right now at a $900 medical bill for my wife that was never recall, meaning those charges were never taken off of what I hope MetroHealth medical center.  Meaning that MetroHealth medical Center stands by its medical assessment in 2006 that my wife was in fact cancer free when their very own director of the cancer center at MetroHealth medical center has told me and Aileen's family that in 2006.  I mean did have liver cancer and that MetroHealth medical center failed to see or to deal with that cancer.  Which means that in 2006 MetroHealth medical center was guilty of negligence.  Meaning medical negligence.  To the point, where they have the opportunity to ascertain whether or not.  My wife had cancer.  And yet they chose to make lots of money off of my wife my giving her all sorts of unnecessary tests so that they could charge her almost $1000 and yet not one of those tests that they did was designed or had the purpose of attempting to find out if she had cancer.  Because MetroHealth medical Center didn't give a damn whether she had cancer or not they just wanted our money.

And that's the way the medical community in United States works, ladies and gentlemen.  And if you think what they have done to me and how they basically allow my wife to die is unusual then you really do need to take a closer look at the statistics on medical mistakes in the United States and you will see that the lack of medical care that many Americans are getting is tantamount to the practice of eugenics.

So given the fact that MetroHealth medical center is that hateful of me.  And given the fact that MetroHealth medical center and the medical community in Cleveland is that hateful of me.  I realized that I will never be given their medical treatment in the city of Cleveland.  Just like I will probably not be given any kind of their medical treatment in this country.  Because America's attitude toward those who are mentally ill, is that America wants the mentally ill of the United States to know that America hates all of us.  And that America has no intention whatsoever of giving us in the mentally ill community any kind of meaningful access to mental health medical care because the medical community of the United States basically has nothing but hatred and contempt for us who are mentally ill.  Which is exactly why MetroHealth medical center has gone to such an extreme length to make sure that I, as a mentally ill person in Cleveland have virtually no access to any kind of mental health care.  And that when I do get any access to any kind of mental health care that MetroHealth medical center will make that care so expensive as to make sure that I hardly ever have the money to afford to get the care I need.  Because MetroHealth medical Center is truly representative of the medical community.  MetroHealth medical Center hates people.  They don't care about anyone because all they want is people's money.  They don't care about saving lives.  Because MetroHealth medical center has also gone to such a length has to make it virtually an obstacle course for anyone to be able to get any kind of financial help at MetroHealth medical center.  Which is just another tool that the medical community is using to deny people of getting the proper medical care they need.  Because like I said, when the medical community has an opportunity to either steal money from someone and take money from them or to save their life the medical community will always choose to take the money from someone and to let them die.  Just like they did with my wife.

But if you speak out against the medical community their reaction is that they will not treat you.  They will not see you.  They will not give you any medical care.  Because I dare to speak out about what they have done wrong are any crime they have committed the response by the medical community.  Because it is a big fraternity is that they turn around and tell you to rot in hell and die and they will make sure you get no medical care.

Which is exactly what is being done to me now.  MetroHealth medical center is basically taking the attitude even though such attitude is in violation of Ohio and federal law that they are not going to transfer my medical records to the new hospital where I'm going until I pay them the $150 for 15 min. of conversation I had with my doctor and that of course is in violation of Ohio law with regard to patients rights as well as the patient's rights bill under federal law.  But MetroHealth medical center in the medical community don't care about the laws in this country because all they care about is getting their money and turning American people into medical consumers.  Because it's all about the money, ladies and gentlemen.  That's all it's about.

So please don't give me any excuses or try and tell me how the medical community really cares about me.  Bullshit walks and money talks.  Actions speak louder than words.  If the MetroHealth medical community really gave a damn about me or my wife, then why did they take $900 from us and tell her in 2006, that her health was fine.  When in reality in 2006 she had cancer?  If MetroHealth medical Center really gave a damn about my wife, then why was it so easy for them to take money from us and to lie to us about her medical condition.  And how much of her medical condition did they know about in 2006 that they did not tell us?  And why did that take place?  And why did my wife have to suffer in pain for four solid years before the medical community even acknowledged that she was dying?  And why after her death has MetroHealth medical Center made it impossible for me to see him medical professional regarding my mental illnesses?  And why has MetroHealth decided to charge me $150 for 15 min. of conversation with my own mental health professional?  And why are they allowing the only to see my mental health professional once every three months and only for 15 min.?  And why is MetroHealth medical center refusing or taking the position that they will make it as difficult as possible to transfer my medical records to a new hospital simply because I won't pay them the $150 for 15 min. of conversation after they will lie to me about the hospice care for my wife being free?  And why has MetroHealth medical Center not recalled or repealed those charges of $900 they charged my wife when they know that those charges were bogus and false because those charges did not show that she had cancer, which he did having 2006?

So the right wing Christian extremists of the United States have succeeded.  They wanted to demonstrate to America how much they hate Jews.  They wanted to show America how much they hate transgendered females like myself.  They wanted to show America that has good white Christians in this country.  They will kill every single person in this country and they would deprive anyone in this country proper medical care unless they are white and Christian.  Or unless it is advantageous to them to do so.  No problem.  Now that I know that the right wing Christian extremists in the United States will stop at nothing to kill me and destroy my life in any way they can.  I have no problem.  Hoping that God will allow me to die as soon as possible.  Because the sooner I die.  The sooner that I will no longer be abused by the MetroHealth medical system and the medical system in Cleveland or the United States simply for being a Jew and transgendered in a nation that is 78% Christian.

All my life I've lived as a minority in this country.  All my life I've lived with the sum of the 78% Christian population of the United States pushing their views on me making jokes about me and treating me like crap.  If my wife would have been white and Christian.  Instead of Wiccan.  If I would have been Christian rather than a Jew.  My wife would've gotten fantastic care from the American Cancer Society and from the medical community of the United States.  But because I'm a Jew because I'm transgendered meaning a transgendered female because my wife was Wiccan what we got basically was MetroHealth medical Center lying to me about everything lying to my wife turning their back on my wife and allowing her to suffer for four years with cancer lying to her and telling her she was fine.  And then after my wife died the right wing Christians of the United States banded together with the sustainable Island the medical community Ohio and they made sure that I would have so much medical debt placed against me that I would never be able to dig out from underneath it.

So fine.  The medical community of the United States run mostly by white Christians got what they wanted.  My wife is dead.  And I am basically living on virtually no money.  And I don't have access to any real meaningful mental health medical care.  Because that's the way white Christians or the white Christian extremists want things.

And I know that's true because of everything I have just said.  So I get the message.  The white Christians of America hate the mentally ill they hate Jews and they hate me.  Just like they hated my wife.  So they allow my wife to die and now they are working hard to deprive me of any medical care whatsoever.  Because I'm nothing but a Jew and this is a nation of Christians.

No problem.  This is why I was saying last night.  I pray to God.  I die as soon as possible.  I pray that God comes for me as quickly as he can.  The sooner that God allows me to die, the better my soul will feel.  There is no place for me here on Earth anymore.  There's no place for me in this world.  The only reason the state of Ohio and the other hateful people in this country are coming after me and taking my home for me is because it would be too visible.  They would be seen for the ruthless murderers.  They are.  But you can bet your bottom dollar.  When I make my next payment my last payment for my mortgage in February at the state of Ohio and Huntington bank and the other Christians of the United States will do everything they can to take my home for me because they don't want me to have a home.  They don't want me to have any rights.  They don't want me to have any medical care they don't want me to have any liberty or freedom.  They don't want me to have anything other than for me to die.  That's message they are sending me.

And that's why my living will states very clearly that if anything goes wrong with my body.  Meaning if I become sick with any kind of terminal illness.  Meaning immediate terminal illness other than the progress of arthritic conditions I'm dealing with that.  I will under no circumstances allow anyone from the medical community to come anywhere near me.  I don't have to take their lousy lying piece of crap medical care.  I don't have to have them lying to me in determining for me when I in fact go and meet God.  That is between me and God.  Not me.  And these monsters who call themselves good Christians when they basically turned their back on my wife and allowed her to die.

There was a time I was excited to be alive.  It was actually partly when my darling Aileen was alive.  But by the time I had met my darling Aileen in 1993.  I knew full well that the Christians of the United States hating me and wanted me dead.  That's how they treated me all my life.  So I knew that I was hated in this country.  And I knew that my meeting.  My darling Aileen would be a liability for her.  And it proved to be exactly that.

But I'm not excited by life anymore.  I realize that my mother and the medical community of the United States have finally agreed on something together.  My mother always said to me that the only thing.  My birth mother did wrong by dying was that she did not die alone.  That I should have died with her because I am nothing but a failed abortion.  That's how my mother referred to me.  That's how the woman who was my adoptive mother treated me.  That was how her Christianity and her Catholicism taught her to relate to me.  I telling me I was nothing more than a piece of garbage.  And that's exactly how the medical community has treated my wife and treated me along with all of these other so-called wonderful white Christians in this country who have turned their back on my wife and they allowed her to die simply because I'm a Jew.

No problem.  Don't be surprised when I say that I pray for death every day because I do.  I am not suicidal.  I will not give these ugly bastards of the medical community.  The satisfaction of me thinking are contemplating suicide under any circumstances.  Because I will not give them background.  So I am not suicidal.  But I am a realist and I know that as a Jew in United States I am hated more than anything else.  And then I will never get any care, treatment, I will never get any justice and that the Christians of this country basically allow my wife to die and then lying to me about it because they had the ability to save her life in 2006 and their Christianity taught them to turn their back on my wife and to let her die because he wasn't white and a Christian.  And because I am a Jew.  I get the message.

And in reality I'm not really angry.  Because I fully understand the hatred that Christians in America have for me.  I understand how badly Christians and Catholics hate everyone and how they hate Jews how they hate everyone in the world who is white and Christian.  I fully understand that.  I understand that kind of ugliness and arrogance.  Because as a minority in the United States, I have been treated to that ugliness and arrogance all of my life that condescending ugly arrogance where I am not allowed to have the same equal rights as anyone else.  And where now the fact that my wife's life could have been saved is being quietly swept under the rug.  Because I'm not white and a Christian I'm nothing but a dirty Jew.  That's what the Christians of America and the medical community want me to understand that I am a dirty Jew and as a dirty Jew.  I don't get equal rights in the United States and I don't get medical care and I don't get any kind of honesty and that when my wife was in desperate need.  And I went to MetroHealth medical Center they charged me $900.  Instead of actually finding out what was wrong with my wife and they did that because they wanted the money more than they wanted to save my wife's life.

No problem.  As I said, I get the message.

But don't think under any circumstances that I hate anyone.  Because I don't.  I'm not angry.  Because I understand the motivation of what drives Christians better than they understand themselves.  I understand their arrogance far better than they do.  And the reason I do is because I have been the target of their arrogance and their cruelty for so long.  When you want to know about how someone is being cruel to another you do not answer the one who was demonstrating cruelty you ask the victim.  Because they are the ones who receive the blows of that cruelty they are the ones who receive the cruelty they are the ones who have to live with the cruelty that is being shown them.  So if you want to get an accurate or of the cruelty and the ugliness of Christians.  You don't look at the Christians and ask them if they are ugly you look at those that they are treating badly in you ask those people instead.

As I said, there was a time in my life when I was actually hopeful about life there was a time in my life when I actually enjoyed life.  Not anymore.  My enjoyment of life.  Virtually doesn't exist anymore.  Except within the confines of this property that I still own.  At least until the Christians in the United States take this away from me as well.  And it's only a matter of time.  Because they hate me that much because I'm a Jew.  That's what it means to be a Jew in America.  You don't get equal rights.  You don't get equal treatment you are denied medical care.  You are lying to you are cheated and when the chips are down and your wife is dying the medical community will lie to you in order to get money from you.  And then it will turn thereby as a fraternity and they will lie to protect each other and they will bring out their lawyers with all of their money and you'll end up exactly where you were alone with your wife dead.

So the Christians in the medical community of the United States have done everything they could to destroy me and try and make me hate them.  But they have failed.  Because for one they have not destroyed me.  And for two.  They have not made me hate them.  Because there is no one in the world and nothing that anyone in the world can do to me that will make me hate anyone.  I will never hate any human being in this world.  I will never hate anything that God did make.  The matter how hard the Christians trying to force me to hate them or to have hatred.  I will not embrace their hatred the matter what they do they could burn me alive.  And the last words on my lips will be God bless you.

So the medical community and the Christians in the United States.  Like I said have failed.  They wanted to try and make me hate someone and they can't do that.  The matter what they do they can't push their hatred into my soul even though they would like to try and that's why I'm not to have this matter investigated.  Because I refuse to play their hateful game.  I refuse to allow them to take their hatred and push it into my soul and I most certainly will not ever allow them or any Christian or anyone in this world to speak for God as to when I go home to God or how I do so.  And I dare anyone or any group to try.

Terra, my arms and I'll walk care of my legs and I will crawl then to me break me beat me the only way you will stop me is to kill me.

But because I have written this Journal article.  Now everybody knows that unless you are white and Christian in the United States or unless it is advantageous politically or economically or some other way the medical community and the Christians of the United States will turn their back on you.  Just like they did on me.  Because what they have done to me.  They can just as easily do any of you.

So I spend my days and nights now begging God to please let me die because I'm not suicidal.  And I never will be.  So instead what I do is I give it to God.  And I ask God to please let me leave this place.  And please let me come home.  There is no reason for me to be in this world.  No one wants me here and they have shown me very clearly they have no respect for me.  They have no respect for my being a Jew.  They will never tell the truth about what happened to my mother.  They will never bring forward my medical records of my operation in 1968.  They will never tell the truth about why they refused to be honest in 2006 about my wife's cancer.  Because that is the way the world is.  The world hates Jews.  No problem.  I get the message.

In all likelihood I will probably lived to be rather old.  God doesn't usually listen to prayers praying for death.  Not unless the body is in extreme danger and my body is not in extreme danger.  So God will probably not consent to allow me to go home.  Probably because God wants me here is a reminder to all of you of your own ugliness of the fact that you had an opportunity in 2006 to save my wife's life and the best that you could do was to simply ignore her.

And be assured I'm not talking about everyone in this world.  Not by any means.  I know a lot of very wonderful people in this world of all different religions and all different forms of spirituality and different political parties and different countries.  The amount of wonderful people I have met in this world is huge.  It's a list it is so long.  I would never be able to write down all of their names and to say that I'm not grateful for every single kind person in this world.  Shown me kindness would not be true, because I am extremely grateful.  But I also them extremely hurt.  My feelings are hurt that this world found it so easy to turn their back on my wife when she was in such desperate need.  My feelings are hurt that MetroHealth medical Center found it much easier to take money from me and my wife rather than to be honest about what was actually going on inside of her body.  I am heard that the medical community has basically turned its back on me and refused to locate my medical records from my operation in 1968.  I am heard that the medical community has refused to investigate why my mother was subjected to barbaric cesarean procedures to the point where she died.  I am heard that the medical community.  Even now takes the position of such open hatred for the mentally ill that I, as one of the mentally ill in this country don't even have the ability to be able to get to a mental health professional to even talk to them let alone get any kind of mental health help.

So I'm grateful for all of the wonderful people in this world and all of the really good Christians and good Jews and the Muslims and good Catholics.  I'm very grateful.  I'm grateful to all of the moderate Republicans and moderate Democrats and all of the kind people in this world who really do care.  But my heart has been torn out of me.  And I have been wounded inside of my soul.  I haven't heard more deeply than I have ever been hurt in my entire life.  My wife very well might have been alive today if MetroHealth medical Center would have not lying to me and her in 2006.  And what's really the most hurtful part of it all is that MetroHealth medical Center will get away Scott free.  And no one will take any action.  No one will do anything in any way to defend the rights of people like my darling Aileen.  Because this Journal article is not just about me because as I've said how the medical community has treated me and how the white Christian extremists of this country have treated me.  They can just as easily do to anyone of you and how do you know they are not already doing some of it now?

That is why I now pray several times a day almost every hour on the hour.  And always is part of my prayers I'm asking God to please let me go home.  I pray for death.  I am not suicidal.  I eat regularly I exercise I take care of my body.  I take care of this house.  But always in the back of my mind.  I'm praying to God to please let me die as soon as possible because the sooner I finally leave this world.  The sooner I will really have any kind of freedom at all.

The hardest thing I've had to try and find since my darling wife died in 2010 was a reason to keep on wanting to live.  But the longer I live the more I see that I'm just really not wanted very much in this world.  And that's okay with me.  It's been 45 years of constant pain throughout my spine.  Hardly anyone I talk to understand what that is like.  You never know what single second when you were not in excruciating pain.  But that has been my life.  Never ending came the matter how I move the matter how I said no matter how I lied down or walk every single second at least 15 to 20 different types of pain.  Every movement every second.

It's not a big deal.  Like I said, I probably will live for a number of years.  Yet because I really am quite healthy.  With all of the physical damage my body have sustained the latest medical assessment that I have had done is that I am really in very strong health.  It's just my bones that are having a problem.

I never really thought that I was never really a mistake to this world.  At least not until now.

Thank you very much for listening.

(For support and source documentation, and further reading, please see my "See Also:" section below.)

See Also:

The mind is like a book. Opened and much is learned. Closed and nothing is learned. (N. Maschke – 1994)

"THEY CAME FIRST for the Communists,
and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist.

THEN THEY CAME for the Jews,
and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew.

THEN THEY CAME for the trade unionists,
and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist.

THEN THEY CAME for the Catholics,
and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant.

and by that time no one was left to speak up."

Pastor Martin Niemöller

      Child Poverty Statistics:

    • 25,000 children die each day from poverty
    • 1041 children die every hour due to poverty
    • 17 children die every minute from poverty
    • 750,000 children die every month from poverty
    • 9,000,000 children die every year from poverty

    Child mortality Statistics:

    • 9.2 million children die every year
    • 780,000 children die every month
    • 26,000 children die every day
    • 18 children die every minute

An estimated 9.2 million children under the age of five will die this year – nearly 26,000 per day or 18 every minute. This is greater than the annual number of deaths from 1. AIDS (2 million), malaria (900,000), and tuberculosis (1.5 million) combined. 2. Neonatal disorders, pneumonia and diarrhea are the major causes of under-five mortality.

Globally, 80 percent of all child deaths are due to only a handful of causes: neonatal causes, pneumonia, diarrhea, and malaria. 3. Pneumonia or sepsis, pre-term delivery, and asphyxia at birth are the leading causes of neonatal deaths. Malnutrition is responsible for over a third of child deaths.


And, according to recent United States statistics, there are approximately 43,000 suicides that take place, in the United States every single year. That would be one suicide taking place, by children as young as 12, or possibly younger, up to our oldest citizens. Approximately every 15 minutes.

Not one single penny that the pro-life movement spends on their so-called pro-life movement goes toward saving any of these “living” children’s lives. Not one single cent. Which means that not one single cent of the so-called pro-life movement is being used to save any of the amazing children and absolutely fantastic women, and men, who are being killed, or suffering horribly, every single minute. so naturally, it becomes impossible to conclude that the pro-life movement is pro-life at all, if they will not even save the lives of living children and men and women. But will always only be concerned with, and define life as the “fetus” only. And THAT’S NOT how their own God Jesus Christ defines life, in their own Bible.

Which means that the pro-life movement is not pro-life at all. Because their money is “not” going to save any living life on this planet. Their money is only going toward forcing women to bear children against their will. And that’s not how their own God, Jesus Christ defines pro-life.

If The Almighty will not allow the smallest sparrow to fall from the sky, why, should we, the creations of that same Almighty, do any less?

incidents that take place every year, are committed by approximately 78% of the population, meaning people who claim to be Christians. (US Religious Demographic Statistics ). And that is something that the Christian conservatives , and those who are Catholics, never seem to want to discuss, and in many, if not most, cases, will lie about. Unless they are forced to do so, and/or tell the truth, in a court of law.

And again, their own God, Jesus Christ says in their own Bible, not to judge anyone, and not to hurt anything that God makes. That’s anything. So, these statistics are really meant to illustrate about being responsible for one’s own choices and actions. That would be, in their own Bible, free-will choices and free-will actions.

For the record, I do not now, nor have I ever hated any human being on earth. I do not hate, regarding my spirituality, and spiritual beliefs, anything that God did make. Meaning that I do not hate the “humanity” that exists within any human being. However, God did not make the personal choices that humans make, regarding how they behave, and/or present themselves, to the world. So if a human being chooses, of their own free will to demonstrate their behavior with racism, bigotry, prejudice, and hatred for other humans, on the basis of their own free will choice as to how they define their spirituality within themselves, that is their own choice. So I do not hate any human being for being that which God did make. I hate only the choices and the manner in which humans have decided to demonstrate their behavior to one another. I do not hate religion. However, I will never give my support to “any” religion, that has ever caused harm to, or killed, a single human being, in any way, as a result of the religion demonstrating, or manifesting it’s presence in the world. If any religion has ever harmed or killed a single human being, I respect the right of all humans to believe what they want in life. I, personally, will under no circumstances give my support for any religion, or theological belief, that has ever harmed or killed even a single human being. This is what I have dedicated my life to as a spiritualist and a pacifist here on earth. So any attempt by anyone to portray me as hating anyone is a lie. Because that is not so. The foregoing clearly shows that I have no hatred for humankind or for any religion.



    My Pro-Life Statement

For the record, I am pro-life . I do not support violence against, or the killing of any human being under any circumstances! And the only way that I ever deviate from that stand is that I do not believe that God has ever given any human the right to dictate to any woman how she is to arbitrate her life with the Almighty, and/or God . Therefore, I believe that all women deserve the right to choose for themselves the fate of their own bodies, pursuant to their relationship with the Almighty, and/or God . My position regarding this statement is more fully explained in my article entitled: Second Gear.


    The mind is like a book. Opened and much is learned. Closed and nothing is learned. (N. Maschke – 1994)

Medical Further Reading:

Personal Further Reading:

My Significant Journal Entries:

  1. My Biographical Profile
  2. Public Declaration
  3. My Complete Medical Record Of My Caregiving For Aileen
  4. Finding Neverland
  5. How Do I love thee. The First Anniversary Of Aileen's Rosebush
  6. My Philosophy of Life
  7. Second Gear, My discussion of my Pro-Life, and Pro-Choice Position
  8. The Time I was hired to photograph and met President-elect Ronald Reagan
  9. My 250 Million Variable Characteristic Hieroglyphic Language
  10. My Global Warming Research
  11. Quantum Mechanics And Newtonian Metaphysics, Originally Dictated On Friday March 19, 2010 (two days before Aileen collapsed and was told she only had 2 months left to live
  12. Pressurized Moments
  13. Religion 101
  14. I Am An Iconoclastic Human Rights Advocate
  15. The Dark Lord
  16. Sand On The Floor
  17. A Human Comedy
  18. The Tortoise And The Hare
  19. Fear: One of Life's Great Motivators
  20. Give Me That Old Time Religion
  21. The Real Explanation of What’s Going On With Japan
  22. The Shadow People
  23. The Music Of The Spheres
  24. The Maschke Dynamic
  25. At Last
  26. Midnight Madness
  27. A Speck Of Dust On A Dirty Beach
  28. Choices of The Heart
  29. Oh There You Are
  30. Finding The Path
  31. Death Be Not Proud
  32. John Denver-The Box
  33. Relevancy
  34. The Environment Of My Mind
  35. The Dented Soul
  36. Talking To The Ghosts In My Heart
  37. A Rumpled And Misunderstood Life
  38. The Metaphysics of Hatred
  39. System Update: The Metaphysics Of Computing
  40. The Letter
  41. Human Rights
  42. Human Rights-An Analysis Part I
  43. Human Rights-An Analysis Part II
  44. Appearances Are Deceiving
  45. Unfinished Business
  46. The Velvet Hammer
  47. Reality Always Wins
  48. Midnight With The Iron Maiden
  49. The Difference Between Love And Hate
  50. System Update: Comprehensive
  51. Rummaging Through An Old Drawer
  52. Tidying Up
  53. Climbing The Mountain
  54. Clear Vision
  55. Dancing In The Backyard With My Weed Wacker
  56. Exercises In Multi-Directional Thinking
  57. Having Dinner At The Gates Of Hell
  58. Assured Distance
  59. The Dignity Of The Human Soul
  60. The Remarkable Thing
  61. Two … Three … One …
  62. Following The Footprints In The Sand
  63. Second Sight
  64. In The Midst Of Darkness A Single Spark Of Light Guides My Way
  65. Battling Demons In The Darkness
  66. Israel Hits Hamas Government Buildings
  67. Shadow Boxing
  68. Looking At Future's Past
  69. Circles Of Synchronicity
  70. Well That Was A Bad Idea

The mind is like a book. Opened and much is learned. Closed and nothing is learned. (N. Maschke – 1994)

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