Are We There Yet?

Are We There Yet?
This is the sign that is over the front door of Aileen's and my house, our home, going OUT. Meaning that when someone leaves our house they are going into the ACTUAL Mental Ward.

I've always felt that way. When it is considered how much ugliness and killing and hatred there is in the world today, it actually makes perfect sense that this sign is over the door going out of the house.

Because that's where the real mental ward is.

Friday, January 25, 2013

System Update: Browsers, Dragon NaturallySpeaking, Blogging




As I have repeatedly explained in this Journal.  My favorite browser has always been Firefox.  Because it is a great deal more streamlined and has a good bit more functionality for a lot of the kinds of work that I do.  Then of course with Dragon NaturallySpeaking at least version 11.5, there is a greater degree of compatibility between Dragon NaturallySpeaking 11.5 and Firefox and IE 9.  So consequently my choices for.  Browsers are limited somewhat to either using Firefox or Internet Explorer.  Meaning IE 9.

My only issue with Google Chrome or actually the main issue, has to do again, with Dragon NaturallySpeaking.  Because there is not very much compatibility regarding various types of programming calls that I can make with Dragon NaturallySpeaking that will actually function with Google Chrome.  But I'm specifically talking about Dragon NaturallySpeaking version 11.5 and earlier.  Because from what I have been given to understand Dragon NaturallySpeaking version 12 addresses those issues.

So initially, I'm not really in favor of Google Chrome only because of the limitations I have regarding my having to use Dragon NaturallySpeaking.  The only other question that comes to mind regarding Google Chrome is something that I'm going to talk about right now that has to do with web browsing in general.

The technical articles and papers that have been coming over the wire.  Meaning going over the net have all been talking about a new class of virus makers.  Meaning hackers.  Or hackers of one form or another.  But the new class of viruses that are beginning to take hold on the Internet are viruses that actually attacked peripheral programs, pursuant to web browsing, such as the Java code or the flash player.  Because these are vulnerabilities there is the real specific reason why I have gone back to IE 9.  And this is even though IE 9 is rather clunky and cumbersome and sort of an albatross.  But mostly IE 9 is just not very user friendly.  Because a lot of the controls inside IE 9 are not explained in user terms.  It's more of a technical explanation that you find inside how IE 9 functions like in the advanced tab or the generals tab.

But given the above.  I have gone back to IE 9.  Because the architecture of IE 9 actually incorporates the Java code and flash player in more of an integral manner to the actual browsing engine.  Where we as Firefox and Google Chrome the Java code and flash player are relegated for the most part, in terms of an ad on rather than being part of the actual engine, meaning the browsing engine.  And by not making it actually a part of the browsing engine.  This raises to a very slight degree the potentiality or the potential of any kind of virus attack having a better chance of getting in to the browser, even though that potential is slight.

Unfortunately the only way to have Google Chrome or Firefox include Java or the flash player as part of the browsing engine would not only be extremely complicated to do.  But actually might be protected by various copyrights that Microsoft holds.  So consequently, under most circumstances, Firefox and Google Chrome are actually fantastic web browsers.  They are really very excellent engines.  And if the type of virus attacking going on right now were not changing in the way that it is.  I would probably be going back to Firefox without any hesitation.

But because the nature of virus attacking going on the Internet right now.  All I can say is that I don't think anyone should completely panicked.  But I think that all people who are using the Internet to do two basic things.

The first thing is to be a great deal more aware of what site you are going to when you are doing your browsing.  Be a great deal more selective.  Use a lot more discretion.  Because these virus makers are becoming a great deal more cunning and inventive.  Which means that a lot of times when you are looking at a particular website.  It may be nothing like what you are thinking.  And along those lines of course it's absolutely vital that you have a tremendously comprehensive antivirus program one that blocks all of these new aspects of how viruses are being transmitted.  But part of the actual burden falls on all of us who are surfing the Internet.  We have to use a great deal more discretion about where we go and what we look at.

The other thing is that if you are heavily committed to using the browser you are currently using.  And it that browser is not Internet Explorer.  Meaning IE 9.  Then I would suggest that you investigate the various security add-ons for your browser and even consult some technical writeups.  Meaning technical articles.  And then choose the add-ons that you think will give you the greatest degree of protection.  That and your discretion should provide the degree of safety you are looking for.

Because my system is so.  Extremely complex, where it is handling not only my security system.  But my television and my web browsing it doesn't make a lot of sense for me to take any kind of risks.  So I actually have to go back to using Internet Explorer.  Also for that reason.  Because with my security system.  And it being monitored out-of-state like it is.  I really do need to have the safest browser possible given the fact that the virus makers are making the changes to how they are transmitting viruses over the Internet.

But that's basically what I'm doing.  And my recommendations are simply like what I said.  Read the technical papers that are available online.  Do the research.  Use a tremendous amount of discretion as to where you surf on the Internet.  And either switch back to IE 9 as what has been rated as the strongest and most secure browser.  Or using the browser you are currently using increased the security of the browser is much as possible without diminishing your browsing experience.  And by doing that you probably need to do a good bit of research to see which add-ons will give you the greatest degree of security.  But discretion is absolutely key to the entire issue.


Anyone who's been reading my Journal knows that I have been struggling for the last several weeks and even months.  Over the fact that I now understand without any hesitation and without any doubt that had MetroHealth medical Center properly treated my darling Aileen.  In 2006 that she would be alive and possibly healthy today.  Nothing is going to bring her back.  That is the fact of the matter.  But the more I think about this the more I realize that the matter has to be dealt with.  Because it's not like a Band-Aid was put on wrong.  The decisions that MetroHealth made actually caused someone to die.  And these measures were as a result of either carelessness or laziness or for some other reason.  And like I said, nothing will bring back my darling Aileen.  So this entire issue is not about me or about my beloved.

This issue is because I truly don't want to see anyone have to go through the kind of emotional pain and agony.  I have gone through.  Losing my darling Aileen if they don't have to.  Never in my life have I ever experienced this kind of deep emotional and spiritual pain.  Never in my life have I had to confront so many different aspects of my life and to have to do so very much alone.  I would be an idiot if I said I was not afraid.  But living with my spine all these years and having the limitations on my body that I have had for some reason when the situation is happening.  I just don't seem to register here.  At least in most of the situations I'm confronted with.  I mean, I am afraid of spiders and I'm afraid of snakes.  But that's because I've had rather life-threatening experiences with both in the past.

But the number of times I've had guns pulled on me.  Or put my head for when I was being beaten or other things.  I mean, I knew there was fear inside me.  But I just didn't seem to acknowledge it.  While the situation was happening.  It was always afterward when the emotions came to the surface.  So I know there is fear inside of about being in this house constantly alone having lost my wife.  Just like there is that constant sadness that never goes away.  But so what?

As I continually talk about.  Every 30 seconds in the United States and other woman is being either beaten raped or murdered.  With 78% of the United States being pro-life Christian.  That means 78% of the women being murdered in this country are being murdered by pro-life Christians of one form or another.  And it's not the issue as to who is doing the murdering.  Is it doesn't matter who is doing the murdering what matters is that these women are being murdered.  And what's even worse is that these people claiming to be Christians don't realize that their Lord and Savior Jesus Christ died protecting women.  So it is virtually impossible for them to call themselves good Christians that they are abusing women or miss treating women.  In any way.  At least if they actually believed in their Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

And it's also just absolutely tragic that no one at the national level wants to talk about this problem.

But given the circumstances not to mention that every 15 min. in the United States.  Another child or adult becomes so desperate that they take their own life.  Or every minute around the world eight children are starving to death.  And every minute.  Seven more children are being murdered or that in the space of the entire set of years for World War II, which was four years.  Adolf Hitler murdered approximately 6,000,000 people.  But hearing United States.  We are doing a lot better.  Because in one year we are murdering or beating to death 6 million women which means in the space of time that World War I to takes or took which was four years hearing United States.  We are murdering or bleeding to death or destroying the lives of 16 million women.  And that doesn't even come close to the number of women who are being beaten raped and murdered throughout the world.

So when I think about the fact that MetroHealth as a result of negligence or carelessness or disregard or for whatever reason about my darling Aileen to die without giving her the proper medical treatment.  I'm not upset because it happened to me.  I'm upset because it's happening to other people.  I know how badly I feel.  No one has to tell me.  I know how horrible it is to have nightmares every night to wake up every morning with the first thought on my mind is that she is still dead.  I know how I feel inside of myself when I bend down every morning and gently kiss her ashes.  I know how I feel inside as I can feel her kiss me back.

So I have decided to go forward with taking action or at least reporting this matter regarding MetroHealth medical Center and their negligence of my wife's care two different sources for the purposes of trying to do whatever I can in whatever small or insignificant way of trying to protect other people.  It could be someone's daughter or son or husband or wife or mother or father or friend.  It doesn't matter.  If they can do this to me they can do it to anyone.  And why should we allow that to happen?

I have no hopes regarding this entire matter.  I don't expect anyone to do anything.  I expect them to do exactly what happened with my mother when she died giving birth to me in 1950.  That it will be swept under the rug and no one will talk about it.  And no one will admit to it.  And no one will even investigate it.  I am the wrong religion.  And I'm the wrong color.  I'm not a Christian.  I'm just a Jew and our country is so racist and our country is so full of hatred.  I don't expect anyone to investigate what happened to my wife.  I expect they will do nothing but sweep it under the rug.  So I'm going to have to somehow or other summon the will to try and fight back.

I would have to continue this later.  I'm getting a bit too upset.  So I need to meditate.  I'm sorry.  I just need to meditate to give some ground.

Back in a while.



I've gotten some rest. And I thought a great deal about this entire matter. I telephoned WKYC TV in Cleveland this afternoon. I left a message therefore their health reporter. Additionally, I called the Department on aging and I left a message there as well. Both phone calls were recorded and recordings of those phone calls have been transmitted to a third-party for safekeeping.

Additionally, I have a recording of my phone call to MetroHealth medical Center to report this matter to the hospital. And that recording is also been filed with a copy going to a third-party.

So I have the proof that I actually tried to report this crime. Because it is a crime. It is a crime of a medical nature. As a result of medical negligence, my wife, Aileen Terra was basically murdered or at least not provided the medical care she needed to survive. She was not given the proper medical care she deserved as a result of the cancer patients. Because MetroHealth medical Center refused to even look and see the visible signs that she had liver cancer. And yet they charge her $940 for an emergency room visit where one of the tests clearly should have shown or could have shown the cancer. She had in her body as a result of the liver damage she had sustained was a direct result of her having hepatitis C.

And those documents are also ported by documents I have here in my files where I have every single piece of paper that was generated regarding her cancer care. And I had every single medical document regarding their medical care for the last 18 years.

So I do not expect WKYC TV to call me back. I do not expect the Department of aging to call me back. And as my call to MetroHealth clearly went the last thing that was sent to me by MetroHealth medical Center is that they were referring this matter to their risk management department which is their legal department. So in other words, what's going to happen now is that WKYC TV will turn their back on me and ignore me. And so will the Department of aging that is my prediction. And I very well may be wrong but I don't believe I am. I have a kind of gut instinct about these things.

And I believe that Metro will also sweep it under the rug. So as a result this weekend I'm going to generate physical communications to all the pertinent parties. And to a number of other medical agencies throughout the United States and with the federal government and I will provide the actual documentation of what I am saying. And I am not doing this on the account of what happened to my darling Aileen I'm doing it on the account that if they can do it to me. They can do it to anyone. And even more importantly they already have.

And what is truly sad is that it's not so much these and that's that are bothering me as much as it is that the United States, toaster all of these gymnastics in order to try and convince the world that the United States has the best medical care in the world. And that the United States is the land of the free and the home of the brave. When in reality that's not true. Neither of those things are true. America is not the land of the free. It may be the home of the brave. But it is not the land of the free. There are so many different levels of freedom in the United States. That is ridiculous.

So when you think about how the United States claims to be the land of the free will and that is absolutely not true. And you listen to the American medical community boast about how they are the best medical system in the entire world which is also not true. That's what sad. When you have so much potential for real good in the world either being treated with disregard or a lack of respect to the point where people are dying in many ways that is more tragic than the people who are in desperate countries with no medical care not getting any medical care. Because in those countries those countries don't boast about having great medical care they don't brag about being the land of the free. None of those countries say that. And yet there are millions of women who die every year and millions of brilliant men and women who die every year in those countries and that of course is terribly tragic.

But what is even more tragic in my own estimation is that when you have a country like the United States claiming to be the land of the free where that is definitely not true and you have the United States claiming to have the best medical system in the world, which is also not true. And then you have innocent people like my darling Aileen how many other thousands like her who have been mistreated by the system or given nothing but disregard and then they die when they didn't have to. That inconsistency that lack of will that lack of execution. With all the opportunity for good that the United States has when the chips are down. Just like they were with my wife. What does the United States do? They turn their back.

No problem. As I said, this is not about me. This is about every one of you. Whatever they did to my darling Aileen and whatever they do to me. Bet your bottom dollar they have the same ability to do to you and if you think they won't I believe that would be a mistake.

Now, after I have communicated in writing to all of the pertinent parties if the outcome results in nothing being done and no investigation going forward that will answer the most important question. I have had inside myself that I haven't really talked about much for a very long time. Because it was showing very clearly that the world really doesn't have much use for me anymore. And that's fine. Because then I will do exactly what needs to be done. I will make arrangements for everything in this home. That is mind or was at one time my darling Aileen's to go into storage. And all the proper arrangements will be made. And I will assign an attorney to handle the matter.

And then I will have my attorney handle the closing of this house. And then I will put on my knapsack and I will simply walk away. I will walk away from Cleveland, Ohio, I will walk away from anyone I ever knew. And I will go somewhere else. I know of at least four different areas in this country. I can go to wear either I can live fairly much in complete and total privacy or I can pretty much remove myself from most of the daily life here in this country. And that's exactly what I'll do. If no action is taken. If no investigation even those forward. If no one takes any action whatsoever. As a result of my requests for assistance that will truly be an admission on the part of this nation and the city of Cleveland that America is not free, and never was. And that America does not have the best medical system in the world and never did.

And all the recording is regarding this entire situation will be properly filed and copied to a third-party so that no matter what happens to me at one point or another. The truth will come out. Because I'm not flamboyant nor do I seek a lot of notoriety I see none actually. As a human rights advocate. It's not my job to worry about myself it's my job to always put myself last. That's my job whether I like it or not. Nothing anyone can do will ever bring Aileen back. That is the fact of the matter.

I don't live with any kind of delusions along those lines the actions I take. And then I will take as described above I'm not taking on behalf of my darling Aileen. In as much as they are taken on behalf of every other American in this country every other person in this country and every other person who I consider to be one of my world fellow citizens, meaning every other person in this world. When the country you are in is telling you that you have certain rights to be treated the same as anyone else. And that does not come true. But when they tell you that the medical system in your country will provide for you and they don't that goes way beyond being insulting. Because in many of those situations when those things happen but will die. Just like my darling Aileen. Regardless of what country it is happening in regardless of the circumstances. It will happen in the medical community and the country in which the medical community is in will rush forward with their lawyers and they will falsified documents and they will lie and they will cheat and they will do whatever is necessary. Unless it is advantageous not to. To make sure that they don't ever have to admit to what they have done. Like I said, unless it is advantageous not to.

And in my particular situation. There is no incentive whatsoever for any of the parties to get back in touch with me. That is my gut feeling and I don't think they will and that's fine. Nothing anyone can do. Like I said will ever bring Aileen back. Someone tonight. Asked me if I was offered money for this if I would accept any money and I immediately said absolutely not. I don't want money from MetroHealth medical Center I don't want money from anyone. It's not my motivation. I'm a human rights advocate if I see something is wrong in society it is my duty whether I like it or not to talk about what I see it is wrong and to do so. If I believe that talking about or discussing what I am seeing will in fact benefit my fellow humans in such a way where they may be able to correct that situation. That is my duty as an advocate and specifically as a human rights advocate.

So when I see something like this happening. And in this case being very personal. Because it was my darling Aileen. And then when I began to investigate the number of medical mistakes being made in the United States and around the world. And finally when I then see how I am being treated here in Cleveland Ohio. There are only a few reasons that are real visible why people would treat me that way. One obvious one is that I am a Jew. Another obvious one is that I have been dealing with mental illness since I was four years old. Another obvious one is that I'm transgendered. Meaning I live as a woman. Another obvious one is that I'm disabled and another obvious one is that my name is Maschke

So there's lots of really good obvious reasons or excuses why the city of Cleveland and MetroHealth medical Center and these agencies might just turn their back on me and those excuses are extremely well received throughout our nation and throughout the world. Because they are excuses that are used all over the world. Not just about me but about anyone that the world or any organization or any group or any person just doesn't want to be open to or even extend any friendship toward. You might be able to change the name because I'm using Maschke because it's me. But the same excuses exist from one country to another. And that's my point. Since those excuses do exist since those excuses are so customary since those excuses are so accepted without any shadow of any doubt that logically proves that they can happen to me. It can happen to anyone of you.

And that, ladies and gentlemen is exactly why I'm taking this action. As a human rights advocate. We advocates don't really get the chance. Often go out on the front line and actually extend our physical selves into the world. Were we didn't give something back. As human rights advocates we are pretty much stuck in the world of argument and debate. So we never really get out into the physical world much to be able to do any kind of hands-on helping other than through. Charities, or groups that we might support. But this particular situation is away I can actually reach right into the world physically however limited. I may be and however insignificant I am. Where I can reach back into the world and actually give something back. And of course the world isn't going to like what I'm giving back. Because I'm actually getting back the world something that is really wrong with the world, but that is really easy to fix but when discovered is extremely embarrassing if not, tragic.

That's not my problem. As a human rights advocate I'm not here to chat everyone on the back and tell everyone what a good job. They are doing. My job is to look at the things that we are doing wrong and ask why. The young person tonight or last night rather, asked me about getting involved with writing at first they said that they wanted to do what I do. I immediately told them absolutely not. No way. Do not ever want to do what I do. No way. Then they said they really wanted to be a writer. And that of course is different. Because I thought they were talking about wanting to be a human rights advocate.

And then they asked why I didn't want them to be a human rights advocate. And I explained to them that being a journalist is not really an extremely lonely profession because of the type of writing the journalist to. It is the kind of writing where they do need sort of periods of time where they can be by themselves to of course create the writing they do. But I explained to the shock person that is nothing like trying to be a writer. Meaning an author.

Because I explained that being a writer or an author was a great deal different. Because it required a tremendous amount of solitary time where you are pretty much alone. And off to yourself. Because the workers all done in your head. But I told them never to want to be a human rights advocate. I said. Because that is the loneliest and most unsought position that anyone could ever want to be in. It's the most unappreciated position that anyone would ever want to find themselves in. Because when you're human rights advocate you live a very solitary life. And you don't live a life that is easy and you don't stand close or at least to close to almost anyone. Because if you do you lose your perspective. You have to standoff at a distance in order to see things more clearly. So you have to really distance yourself from the mainstream of humanity. And that's how you live your life always at a distance, never feeling like part of the mainstream and in reality never being part of the mainstream.

Would you do it if that's what you decide to do because you realize that the basic law of being a human rights advocate is something that most people don't really understand. The basic law of being a human rights advocate is simply, you always come last. No matter what you always come last. Because the real axiom or the real axiomatic expression of that idiom is, only when you come last. We you ever come first.

That is what a human rights advocate does. That is what I do. And if you have to be really bombastic or if you have to be really in people's faces in order to get them to wake up to certain concepts or certain things that they are in denial of or don't even see that's what you do. And you also live by the understanding that no action that anyone might take is a reflection of their humanity but only of their choices. That's a very hard and fast rule. Everything you look at has to be as a result of choices and not the inherent humanity within humanity.

That's why there are a lot of human rights advocates in the world and most of them are unbelievably fantastic. They're very good human rights advocates and they are very effective in so many ways. The unfortunate thing about human rights is not so much with the advocacy but with the nature of human rights as humans define human rights. Most of the ways of resolving human rights issues in the world are given over to the very agencies and organizations that are actually causing the human rights violations to begin with, which is one of the reasons the major and terrible human rights issues. Very seldom ever go away. There are victories everything human rights. Unfortunately the world right now is doing what I've said before being tremendously preoccupied with the land in the air and the water and other animals. But not really very concerned about protecting humanity.

We are all very concerned about protecting ourselves and our families and perhaps even our towns and communities. But that's more territorial. What I'm talking about is conservation of humankind. And that's not what humanity is doing. When humanity believes it is a good idea for young adults or teenagers or perhaps younger to be watching on American television. Television shows like 1000 ways to die. Then the United States has no business wondering why our children are growing up psychotic. What the hell does America expect? If you show a child a show like 1000 ways to die repeatedly every day because it's on almost every other day. You show a child that much programming of that kind and I guarantee you, understanding the nature of information that child will have a certain degree of disturbance is going on emotionally and psychologically, whereby one of the byproducts will be various forms of violence and that's not the only way we are doing this to our children.

We are teaching them hatred. We are teaching them racism. The adults in this world are behaving in a very despicable manner. We are not giving our children good role models were not doing all a lot of things. That's the job of the human rights advocate. It's not pleasant. It's not glamorous and you don't make lots of money. And you usually aren't very well known or very well-liked. But that's okay.

Because that's your job. That's what you've chosen of their own free will to do with your life. So I would never suggest for any young person to be a human rights advocate unless they didn't mind being really lonely and always standing off at a distance. Because that's exactly what you have to do 24 hours a day for the rest of your life. Because the only way you'll ever get the perspective of what is going on in the human condition in order to be able to do your job as a human rights advocate more effectively and the more effective you are the more potential there is to save lives. That's the heart of the matter. Saving lives. Change people's thinking. Change people behavior change their understanding help people to leave all and to grow and to be less selfish and less self involved. All because doing so has the potential of saving lives. That's why people become human rights advocates. It's the other side of human rights advocacy the most people don't see. Most of the right wing extremists think that we in the human rights advocacy movement are in fact not pro-life. But the reality is that we would not be doing what we're doing if we were not pro-life.

In any event, that is what I'm going to do with regard to handling the matter of how medical negligence caused my wife my darling wife Aileen to die with all possibility long before she ever had to do that as a result of MetroHealth medical Center not doing the proper medical testing were taking notice of the physical characteristics that my wife had 2006 in the emergency room they failed to notice that she had liver cancer. And, according to everything I've seen in what I have read about the different forms of cancer and liver cancer and the documentation I have from MetroHealth medical Center regarding my wife's condition and every single piece of paper that was generated while she was dying. Inclusion is very simple. She would be alive today had they taken the time to notice 2006 that she had cancer.

That is the crime, ladies and gentlemen not against me. But against every single one of us. Whatever disregard they may have felt or whatever expediency they may have practiced just like with anyone. I try to report this matter to those excuses are standard throughout this world and that they can use those excuses on me. You can bet your bottom dollar they will use them on you.

That's the reason I'm taking this action.

Thank you very much for listening.