Are We There Yet?

Are We There Yet?
This is the sign that is over the front door of Aileen's and my house, our home, going OUT. Meaning that when someone leaves our house they are going into the ACTUAL Mental Ward.

I've always felt that way. When it is considered how much ugliness and killing and hatred there is in the world today, it actually makes perfect sense that this sign is over the door going out of the house.

Because that's where the real mental ward is.

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Small Steps Forward

Coming to terms with the fact that no one is really going to care or do anything about how my darling Aileen was victimized as a result of poor medical treatment and possibly medical negligence has been notably one of the hardest things I have had to try to deal with since she died.  I mean if Aileen would have been Catholic or Christian then without any doubt the news services would be all over the news story and people would be investigating why Aileen was subjected to medical negligence.  But because she was not a Christian or Catholic and because I am a Jew.  Nobody really gives a damn.  Because that is how America defines freedom.

As I've said before, there are many different levels of freedom in the United States.  If you are white and Christian.  You get all of freedom and all the civil liberties you want.  But if you are not white and Christian.  In the United States.  You basically get crap.  Which is exactly what happened to my darling Aileen.  MetroHealth medical Center lied to us and misrepresented the truth regarding the financial aspects of her hospice care.  And they did so on purpose so that they could cheat us and steal money from us without letting us know.  And when Aileen went to the hospital in September 2006.  Because she was not a white Christian.  She basically got substandard care from MetroHealth medical Center.  Because MetroHealth medical Center doesn't give a damn about anyone unless they are forced to do so.  And because the nation is 78% Christian MetroHealth medical Center would do everything possible to make sure Christians get all of the good medical care they want.  But if you are not white and Christian.  Then the United States basically doesn't give a damn what you want.  Because you have basically no rights at all.  You're not worth anything.  And America's attitude is if you are not white and Christian then you don't get any rights.  You don't get any good medical care.  You don't get any freedoms.  Because if you are a Jew like me the good Christians of America have only one thing.  They want to tell you.  If you are not a white Christian.  The good Christians in America want you can go to hell.  Because the white Christians of America hates everyone who's not white and Christian.

Which is exactly why my darling Aileen, who was at the time Wiccan, basically got crap medical care.  Where MetroHealth didn't do a damn thing to try and save her life.  Because again, he was not a white Christian.  Because United States is a Christian nation and proud of their Christianity United States wants everyone to know that Christianity in America means hatred.  Because that's what Christians do best.  They hate everyone they hate Jews.  They hate Muslims they hate black Americans they hate Mexican-Americans they hate Hispanic Americans they hate Japanese Americans they hate Native Americans they hate everyone in Europe they hate the French they hate Irish they hate the English because that's what Christians do.  They hate everyone and that's why Christians get all the medical care they want and all of freedom.  They want but you are and you like me.  You are basically told by the wonderful and loving Christians who support universal love and unconditional love their manner of showing unconditional love is that they will hate you.  And they will try to fire you and take your job.  They will ruin your life and they will tell you repeatedly that they wish you would die.  Because that's exactly what Christians have told me all my life.

No problem.  Now that I understand that the Christians in the United States basically hates my guts for being a Jew.  No problem.  Because now I will not have any illusions about how I am going to die.  The matter how long I live.  I will die alone.  And I will die without getting any really good medical care.  Because I am a Jew and, according to the Christians in the United States.  They hate Jews and the Christians United States want me as a Jew to die soon as possible, because they basically hate me because that is what they were taught by Jesus.  To hate everyone who is not white and Christian because that's what Jesus told them to do.  Just like Jesus is telling all good Christians to pick up a loaded firearm and I have that gun in their hand whenever they pray to Jesus.  Because that's exactly what Christians believe.  That the only way they can pray to Jesus Christ is with a loaded gun in her hand and money in the other hand, and hatred in their heart.  Because that is what they learned from Jesus Christ.  They learned how to hate Jews, hate everyone and they learned how to cheat people.  Just like the MetroHealth medical staff cheated me and cheated.  My wife and basically refused to even look at her legs because if they looked at her legs they would have been had to save her life and they didn't want to do that.  They wanted her dead.  And they got their way.

Of course if I'm wrong, then I would like someone else to explain why in September 2006 that the medical staff at MetroHealth medical Center did not even look at her legs.  Because if they did, they would have no that the sores on her legs were not as a result of borderline diabetes.  But in fact were as a result of liver dysfunction or liver disease or liver cancer.  So what was their excuse?  What was the reason for not looking at her legs?  The only reason that makes sense in a nation that is 78% Christian is that Aileen and I were not white Christians.  So we don't get the same level of medical care.  And we don't get the same level of freedom we get nothing.

And that's okay.  Because that's one of the reasons I pray for death every hour on the hour.  There is nothing left for me here in this world.  There's no reason for me to continue living.  I am not suicidal.  And I am not about to contemplate suicide under any circumstances, I will never do that.  But I will give it to God.  And I am begging God that he let me die as soon as possible, because the sooner I die.  The sooner I don't have to be part of this.  Ugly sickness the Christians call Christianity where they are saying that the only way they can practice Jesus is love for humanity is by hating everyone they can and by carrying a loaded weapon.  Because Jesus did not support hatred and he did not support guns.  But the Christians don't care about that.  Because as far as they are concerned.  Jesus will put up and shut up and do what he is told to do by the Christians.  Because the Christians want to carry guns and Christians want to hate everyone and it Jesus knows what's good for him, he will put up and shut up and do what he is told by the Christians.  Because the Christians are the ones who are running this world.  Not Jesus.  So Jesus will bow down to the Christians and submit to what the Christians want.  Because the Christians will never submit to what Jesus tells them to do.  Because the Christians actually follow what Jesus told them to do they would never owned a firearm.  And because they do on firearms.  They are saying with their ownership of firearms that they hate Jesus Christ and they will be L out of Jesus Christ it Jesus ever tells them to put down their guns.  So the Christians are telling Jesus to get on his knees and to worship them as Christians.  Because the Christians are God.  Not Jesus.  Because they will never follow God because of they follow God they would never owned a firearm and so they hate God and they want God to submit to them.  Because the Christians are God in the world the Christians will have the say over who dies and lives.  And if you are a Jew in America the message from Christians is that the Christians hate you.  If you are a Jew and they want you to die as soon as possible.

No problem.  I can do that.  So, since Christians hate God.  I hate Jesus Christ so very much that they are refusing to do what Jesus told them to do.  No problem.  I'm not going to follow the Christian bastard example.  I will not turn my back on God.  The way the Christians have.  I will not pick up a firearm.  Because I hate God the way the Christians do.  I am a pacifist and I am a Jew.  And so was Jesus.

So if someone hates me.  Then they are hating me for attempting to emulate the pacifism and the unconditional love of Jesus.  And if they don't mind making themselves out to be that ugly, then why should I care if they do that?  If Christians really want to become ugly and horrible and mean-spirited and hateful like they are full of violence in killing and death and demanding that God bow down to them.  So that they can carry their stupid guns.  If that's the best the Christians can do.  Then let me stand with God.  Because I will stand with God before I ever stand with the Christian hatred of the world.  I will always stand with God before I stand with the violent ugliness and the mass murdering that Christians are doing in this world.

Or are we forgetting that in a nation that is 78% Christian in the United States.  That also means that 78% of the 6 million women who are beaten raped or murdered every year are being beaten raped and murdered by Christians.  That is the fact of the matter and nothing that any lying Christian can say will change that.  They claim to be pro-life and yet Christians are responsible for 78% of all of the killing and him murdering and the violence in the hatred that takes place in the United States.  78% of all of the horrible ugliness that exist in the United States is coming from 78% of the population.  Which is Christian.

So that's how they want to worship God.  Let them do so.  I don't worship God that way.  I don't make God bow down to me and do what I tell God to do.  I do what God tells me to do.  I follow God.  I don't demand that God follow me the way the Christians are demanding that Jesus bow down to them and follow them.  Because they are refusing to do what Jesus told them to do.  They will never give up their guns.  They will never give up their money.  They will never stop teaching your children hatred they will never stop supporting racism and bigotry and ugliness.  Because the Christians believe they are above God.  And that they will rule the universe.  And that they are above Jesus Christ.  Because they will never give up their guns they will never give up their hatred.  And they will never give anyone adequate medical care in this country unless you are white and Christian.  Or, unless there is an incentive for them to do so.

And there was no incentive for MetroHealth medical Center to give my darling wife Aileen.  The medical care she needed in September 2006.  So the good Christians of MetroHealth medical Center decided it was in their best interest to follow the teachings of Jesus Christ and to deny my wife the proper medical care she needed.  Because Jesus Christ was telling those Christians to kill my wife.  Even though Jesus was a pacifist.  That's how the Christians interpreted what Jesus was teaching them.  Jesus stood for unconditional love.  But the Christians are saying Jesus was a filthy liar.  Because Jesus actually stood for mass murder and hatred and supporting guns and killing because that's what Christians do.  They hate everyone they support killing they love their guns and they will kill anyone who dares disagree with them.  Because they hate everyone and they will yell and scream that is what Jesus is teaching them even though there is no reference in their own Bible to Jesus ever supporting that kind of ugly behavior.  But that doesn't matter to the Christians.  Because they'll lie about Jesus.  Just like they lie about everything.  Just like Metro lie to me and my wife about hospice care.  Just like they lie to her about her being healthy.  When in fact she had liver cancer.

I get the message.

Now that I have finally fulfilled this very difficult promise I had made to my darling Aileen.  I will move on to the next promises that I made to her.  But as a result of fulfilling this promise.  You can bet your bottom dollar I will never trust the medical community, under any circumstances ever again.  And I will never trust the Christians of the United States under any circumstances ever again.  They have not hurt my feelings they have not crashed me.  All they've done is make me stand closer to God and farther away from them.  Since they don't want to stand near God.  Because they hate God.  So much because they love their guns more than God.  No problem.  I will stand with God.  And have any Christian doesn't like that.  I dare them to pick up a gun and come to my home and murder me.  I will even leave the door unlocked all they have to do is walk in with their gun and kill me anytime they want.  I dare any Christian to go ahead and do that.  And claim that Jesus is telling them to do that.  I dare them to go I had murder me and send me back to God.

But because the Christians are basically gutless cowards they will never come to my home and kill me because they don't want God to know how much they hate him so they will lie to God.  Because they think they can and they will continue owning their guns and spreading their hatred and racism and I is a Jew will continue praying to God that God allow me to die as soon as possible.  The sooner I die.  The sooner I will actually have any kind of freedom because I certainly don't have much freedom in this world.  And if this world wanted to convince me that my life was a mistake finding out that my wife was deprived adequate medical care in September of 2006 has certainly convinced me beyond any shadow of any doubt that this world has nothing but hatred for me.  Not a problem.

I expected my life to turn out this way.  It was only a matter of time.  All my life Christians you hated me because I am a Jew especially a Jew from a mixed religious family.  So the Christians think they are really doing something new with their hatred of me.  They obviously really don't understand.  I've known their hatred.  All my life.  And the one thing I have loved more than anything in my entire life was basically ignored and treated with medical negligence and as a result was basically told to die.  I get the message.  Christians will kill every Jew in the United States and they will do so once you at a time.  Just like they will kill every week and and every Muslim and every single person in this country who is not white and Christian.  And they will do so.  One person at a time.  And that way it won't look like mass murder.  At least until you look at the numbers and the Christians will probably hide those numbers and lying to people.  Because that's what they do best.  Just like they lie to my wife and lie to me.  No problem.  I see the kind of world to Christians want.  They don't want to follow Jesus.  They want Jesus to bow down to them.  They want Jesus to submit to them as they are slave because no one rules over the Christians not even God.  Because when it comes to choosing between God or their guns the Christian answer to God is that they want God to rot in hell.  Because they will never give up their guns because they love their guns more than they love their own religion.  Because they love those guns because Windows guns they can kill every Jew in this world.  Because that's what they want to do.  Because they hate Jews.  They hate Muslims they hate everyone.  In 62 years of my life the old wives tale still true.

The Jews, hate the Muslims.  The Muslims hate the Jews.  And the Catholics and Christians hate everyone.  Nothing has changed.  In 62 years of my life that has never changed.  Which is why every hour on the hour.  I am now taking God to please let me die.  I have never wanted and praying for death as hard as I am now because there is nothing left for me in this world nothing.  But as I said, I'm not suicidal because I know that's what the Christians want me to be.  They want me to be that way so that I will be locked away in some mental hospital.  But I'm not suicidal.  And I never will be.  I am deeply spiritual and I'm going inside of my own soul now and I am asking God with all my heart to let me die.  Let me find the die so that I can really have the freedom.  I never had in life.  Let me die so I can go home.  Let me die so that I can hold my darling Aileen.  In my arms began.  Let me die so that I am not part of this ugliness that Christians call Christianity, where they demonstrate their hatred for God and hatred for everything.  Because guns are much more important to them than loving their own religion.  Because they don't love their own religion.  Because they love of guns more than they love Jesus or God.  And yet they call themselves Christians.  If that's the kind of world they want.  I would rather not be part of the world.

Thank you very much for listening.

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