Are We There Yet?

Are We There Yet?
This is the sign that is over the front door of Aileen's and my house, our home, going OUT. Meaning that when someone leaves our house they are going into the ACTUAL Mental Ward.

I've always felt that way. When it is considered how much ugliness and killing and hatred there is in the world today, it actually makes perfect sense that this sign is over the door going out of the house.

Because that's where the real mental ward is.

Monday, January 7, 2013

Slow Breathing

I don't want anyone to think that I'm basically going off of my nut.  I have not.  I'm fine.  I'm just in a lot of pain.  In any event, as I have always said, is my Journal.  This is where I write down my feelings and my perceptions about my life and what I see taking place in my life and in the world around me.  So naturally, when I see people basically using religion as a means to express violence and hatred.  I'm actually going to take exception to that kind of behavior.  Just like I am going to take exception to the behavior of any political party that tries to the demise the poorest people in any country.  The United States included.  There's no excuse for any country, including the United States, to victimize the poorest people in that country.

And as I have said before, what people don't realize is that within three or four generations the type of young people that are going to be growing up as a result of the hatred and the violence that we, as humanity, have in fact been supporting and promoting, are going to be individuals who are going to be so will and mean that they will make what we are going through today look like nothing more than nursery school.  And if that is the kind of future that the people of the United States and the rest of the world want.  Then of course there are no choices to make.  Because that is the kind of world the the people in this world are in fact creating.

On the other hand, if we as a human population actually really want to have the best chances of survival.  Then what we are going to do is to do anything possible in order to make sure that we do not under any circumstances continue the kind of hatred and violence that we are in fact promoting and supporting and demonstrating at this time.  Because if we don't stop the violence, the violence will eventually stop us.  That is the reality.  Whether we like it or not.

I am not running out of time.  I am actually becoming more healthy.  I have been using blueberry and pomegranate and cranberry juice and as a result I have completely healed my bladder infection.  Additionally, I have been doing certain stretching exercises which is in fact beginning to make my double hernia reduce.  So when in actuality, I am becoming more healthy as a result of the life choices I have made and that I am currently making.

So it's not about me.  I know my chances of survival based on statistics.  Just like I know my chances of survival with all of the physical damage my body has.  And as I have always maintained, it will be no human who will kill me.  It will be God who takes me out.  Because God is the one that created me and God is the one that gave me my life back.  No human brought me back to life in 1968.  It was God who did that.  And nothing that anyone can say will ever change that.  No matter how much they would like you not to be so the fact of the matter is God is the one who brought me back to life.  So God is the one who will decide when it is time for me to leave.  God made me and God will break me.

I don't hate anyone.  But the behavior that we in this country are showing as a result of the recent gun violence and the various disasters that have faced the United States and the people in this country are recovering from is actually horrible.  And yet what is coming, environmentally speaking, is going to be a lot more difficult have a lot than what we are seeing right now.  But there is no reason for me to talk about those things.  Because even though I do understand exactly what is going to happen over the next 100 to 150 years.  There's no reason for me to talk about any of that because most of the people in this world right now are so hysterical regarding violence and lack of money and lack of food that there is no way in the world that anyone is really going to be able to have the presence of mine necessary to be able to deal with the coming environmental changes.  Let alone the anthropological or sociological changes that are taking place now which are going to become much more prominent and powerful and significant over the coming generations.

It's easy to show disrespect to someone like me.  I have been mentally ill all of my life.  I have been a transgendered female for over 40 years.  So why would anyone take me seriously?  I totally understand.  I don't expect anyone to really take me seriously.  I don't expect anyone to take my advice.  I don't expect anyone to have any kind of presence of mind to really understand what is going on in this world.  Because if we did we would be making different choices.  Right now.  And we are not taking those choices.

The Republican Party in reality started out as one of the most courageous and brilliant political movements in the history of the United States.  The Republican Party was actually responsible for trying to bring this nation back together after a very bloody and extremely deadly Civil War in the United States were thousands and hundreds of thousands of brave men and women throughout this country were murdered as a result of racial and economic hatred.  So I have a lot of respect for the Republican Party.  But then I also have a lot of respect for the political process.  Just like I respect spirituality.  I love all forms of spirituality what I can't stand is how we humans have bastardized spirituality to the point where we are actually trying to justify why it is okay to celebrate God with the use of a firearm.

I have been a pacifist.  There is no power in this world, no power on earth that will ever stop me from being a pacifist.  There is no power in the world that will force me to act out in violence in any way against my fellow human beings.  I love every single thing that God made in this world, but God did not make our behavior.

I have gone to extreme lengths to provide source documentation and reference material and further reading in the side panels of this Journal page.  If you, the reader, do not take advantage of the source information or the reference information or the further reading I am providing on this page, in the side panels, then you don't have anyone to blame except yourself.  That information is there.  All you have to do is to read.


Windows 7.

Microsoft has the ability to really be a very good company.  But Microsoft is having a huge problem.  Because Microsoft is currently being run by one of the most selfish and arrogant people I have ever seen run any kind of any software company.  Steve Ballmer doesn't give a damn about the customer.  And from everything I have heard in everything I have seen in the various technical information sources I have read.  Windows 8 is almost identical in so many different ways to Windows Vista, that it's ridiculous.  And when you look back at the nature of how Windows Vista was released, it becomes very clear that that is the reason why Bill Gates left Microsoft.  Bill Gates wanted nothing to do with Windows Vista because he knew it was not the kind of product he wanted to be associated with.  He felt the customers deserved better.  Steve Ballmer doesn't care about the customers and try to force Windows Vista, on the customers of the world.  And the customers of the world basically told Steve Ballmer and Microsoft.  They were not going to use Windows Vista, because it was crap.

Windows 8 is no different.  There is only a small percentage of computer screens right now in the world that are in fact capable of using touch.  And most of the computer users in the world are not interested in having a touchscreen.  Because most of the people who are using computers right now.  At least laptops and desktops are much more interested in being able to use their mouse and keyboard and they don't like having to go out and spend hundreds and thousands of dollars on new appointment just to accommodate selfish and greedy wishes of Steve Ballmer, who is attempting to force Windows 8 on the computer community.

And because I have perfected my use of the Internet to the point where I can either use my android phone or my current desktop computer.  I am not subject anymore to the belligerent attitude of Microsoft.  Because if Microsoft really tries to do whatever they can to force Windows 8 on me.  I will simply seal my computer and turned it into a TV.  Which is exactly what I use my computer for most of the time.  So in other words, if Steve Ballmer wants to force me to use Windows 8.  That would be a very bad mistake on his part.  Because I am not ever going to use Windows 8.  It doesn't make any sense for me to have to use a touchscreen or my home desktop when I am basically bedbound and I need a speech program just to be able to use my computer.  So for Steve Ballmer to be demanding that everyone use Windows 8.  When there are millions of people like me who are disabled is not only unfair but it shows very clearly that Microsoft really doesn't care about its customer base.

And we know that's true.  Because Microsoft did not even have the decency to show up to, the, CES or consumer electronics show, in Las Vegas.  Microsoft is basically turned their back on the electronic community.  They are turning their back on the computer community.  They are turning their back on the CES event.  Which is of course the consumer electronics show.  Microsoft is turning their back on everyone because basically Steve Ballmer doesn't like people.  He doesn't like customers.  He doesn't like anyone in this country.  Because he thinks he's better than everyone.  And he is demanding that the consumer community.  Throughout the world put up and shut up and take what we are given rather than getting what we want.

And that is the prevailing attitude that is existing in the United States anymore.  The tea party is taking the exact same attitude.  But as far as the tea parties concerned they will do whatever is necessary to force the people of the United States to do what we're told.  Instead of being allowed to have the freedom and liberty and the other civil liberties that we are entitled to under the Constitution.  And that's because the tea party doesn't care about the Constitution.  Because all they ever talk about is how they want.  Never pay anymore taxes.  And they are willing to do whatever is necessary to force people in this country to understand the tea party will never tolerate paying anymore taxes.  Even if they have to murder people in this country, the tea party will never stop demanding that they don't have to pay anymore taxes.

So it's important that everyone understands.  I am not written I'm finally fed up with all of this Bullshit that is going on with religion.  Where they are justifying various forms of violence and I'm fed up with all of the wealthy in this country of different political party.  Believing that they have the right to steamroll the poor people in this country.  Like I've said before, if you think I'm kidding.  All you have to do is wait three or four generations and what you were going to see you are going to see young people growing into adulthood where going to be so mean and cruel they're going to make what is happening today look like nothing.  And yet most of us here in this world are doing nothing to correct this problem and as a result gun violence is escalating.  And we have people.  Now more worried about money than civil liberties and that is very dangerous because it means that within a few generations there won't be any civil liberties and you won't have people like me around to try to tell you what you are doing wrong.

So it is your choice.  Not mine.  I don't have a problem going to God.  Because I haven't done have to crap that most of the people in this world have done.  You are the ones that are going to have to answer for what you have done in this world.  And that is why I am not talking environmentally about what is taking place because it's not appropriate.  The only time when it would be appropriate for any kind of discussion environmentally what is taking place in the world is if and when we as humanity will stop being so hysterical about money and about racism and bigotry that we are finally able to talk to each other, which we are not able to do.  And as a result, there is no sense in trying to talk to anyone about what is happening environmentally in the world.  Because right now we are at each other's throats.  We don't even see the danger anthropologically speaking or sociologically speaking, that are taking place.  The dangers that are forming the dangers that are turning our children and turning the entire human condition into more of an animalistic kind of species rather than sentient beings.

So it's your choice, ladies and gentlemen.  And understand that if I didn't love everyone in this world.  And if I didn't love everyone who is a Republican and everyone who was ever created by God.  I would never be writing these words.  I wouldn't take the time.  You murder the last you try to stand up and tell you something was wrong.  You cut his head off and put it on a plate.  So I know damn well that you probably want to do the same with me.  No problem.  Like I told you no one will kill me because no one brought me back to life.  It was God who brought me back to life.  So the only thing that could take me out will be God.  Not any human being.

So.  Just understand that when I am really passionate the way I'm right now it's only because I'm dealing with a lot of physical pain and a lot of aggravation.  Because I'm watching the behavior in this world to generate so badly were losing track of why we were even created in the first place.  You need to think about that.  If God created all life and all humanity out of a sense of love, then why is it so hard for us to demonstrate to each other the very same emotion that was used to create any of us?

As always, I will probably write later tonight.

For my heart to yours, thank you very much for listening.