Are We There Yet?

Are We There Yet?
This is the sign that is over the front door of Aileen's and my house, our home, going OUT. Meaning that when someone leaves our house they are going into the ACTUAL Mental Ward.

I've always felt that way. When it is considered how much ugliness and killing and hatred there is in the world today, it actually makes perfect sense that this sign is over the door going out of the house.

Because that's where the real mental ward is.

Monday, January 28, 2013

Public Disclosure

For the record, it's important that I state the following information.

1.  The Department of aging for Cleveland is an organization that actually helps people who were senior citizens in the city of Cleveland.  It's important that it be stated for the record, that when the Department of aging gave assistance to me and my wife a few years ago where they basically helped us to rebuild our front porch and our back fence.  That the Department of aging did so on the basis.  Because of their concern for my wife.  Because the Department of aging is basically a Christian organization.  And because Cleveland is listed as the third most racist city in the entire United States and because of other information I have learned.  It is very clear that the Department of aging never under any circumstances had any intention of giving any assistance to me had I not been married to Aileen.

With that in mind, I have made arrangements so that I will never speak to or ask assistance from or of the Department of aging for the city of Cleveland ever again.  I will never have any association with them directly, in any way.

2.  At this juncture, my complaint with the Ohio medical board regarding MetroHealth and their practices in the emergency room in September of 2006 have in fact been processed and are in the midst of being reviewed.  My interest is not in seeking any kind of compensation or anything of that nature.  From MetroHealth medical center.  But to simply alert the medical community in Ohio of possible shoddy work and medical mistakes and medical negligence that may in fact be taking place at MetroHealth medical Center as a result of MetroHealth medical Center in Cleveland Ohio.  Being much more interested in getting money from people then they are in fact in giving any kind of real meaningful healthcare.  Because if they really were concerned with giving meaningful healthcare, then they would not have committed the medical negligence in September 2006 pursuant to my wife's care.  Whereby my wife died as a result.

3.  I am working with two other agencies in the state of Ohio to secure my medical records from MetroHealth medical center so that those records are in fact transferred without any encumbrances to my new HMO facility at Lutheran hospital.  And this of course so that I can then in fact have access to mental health care.  Which is my legal right and my responsibility as a result of my disability.

By the end of this week.  There will be measures that will be taking to ensure that the records are transferred and that my care will in fact move forward.  Either I will get the medical care that I deserve.  And then I need.  As an American citizen or I will take whatever action the law allows at the city or state or federal level in order to secure my legal right and rights as an American citizen to have access to the mental health care that is not only deserved it is my legal right, but is also my legal duty.

4.  For anyone to really think they understand me is a mistake.  There is nothing that the city of Cleveland or anyone in the city of Cleveland will ever be able to do.  Nothing that anyone in the world will ever be able to do, that will in any way caused me to move in the direction of contemplating suicide.  That will not happen.  If push comes to shove, I will simply put all of my possessions here in this house in storage.  And then I will leave this house and leave Cleveland and never return.  As I said, I know of at least six different areas in this country where I could go on foot.  And once I arrive in those areas.  I could then secure the necessary medical help that I need and live out my life without any of the excess negative social baggage that has followed me around in this city for so many decades.

5.  Now that I have filed the necessary information regarding the medical negligence that took place in September 2006 regarding my wife's care.  Where, as a result, he died.  Where if that medical care had been given properly.  She would still be alive today.  Since I have completed that filing I have completed another promise I made to my darling Aileen.  So now I move onto the next promise that I made to her.  And of course with the coming of next week I will be filing the last mortgage payment.  Whereby as a result I will own this house.  The only thing that will be attached to this house is the Medicaid recovery debt of $40,000.  And of that $40,000.  There are charges for the hospice care that MetroHealth medical center explained to my wife and I at the time the figure was initiated the care would be free.

And since those charges are included in the Medicaid recovery act amount of $40,000.  That means that MetroHealth medical center and the hospice service connected with MetroHealth medical Center misrepresented themselves with the intention of defrauding me and my wife.  And that they did so willfully in order to steal money from me and my wife.  Because they did not under any circumstances explained to either of us at the care was chargeable.

So if the state of Ohio really wants my home that badly after I die.  No problem.  They can have the house.  They will not be entitled to have any of my possessions.  In point of fact, I am going to liquidate a lot of my possessions over the coming years.  So that none of the more important possessions here in my home will be in my home when I die.  And in that way, the state of Ohio and the city of Cleveland and MetroHealth medical center will get nothing except the house.  Because that is, under the Medicaid recovery act terms, is all they are entitled to.

I can't say it has been really enjoyable living in this world.  Because it really has not been.  I have had many experiences that were absolutely fantastically enjoyable.  But on the whole, living the life I have lived in this world has been anything but enjoyable.  And as I said before, I never thought that the medical community and most of the American government would actually end up agreeing with my mother when she said that the only thing that my birth mother did wrong.  When she died was that she did not take me with her.  Because I in her estimation am nothing but a failed abortion.

I never thought that they medical community of Cleveland and the city of Cleveland and most of the state and federal government would ever feel the same way that my mother felt.  But they do.  And that's fine.  If the entire world ends up hating me.  No problem.  Because I don't have to go in front of the entire world.  When I die.  I only have to go in front of God.  And I have never broken any of God's commandments.  I have never once broken any of God's commandments.  I have never once acted out in violence against anyone.  And I never will.  I am a pacifist.  And I will die a pacifist.  There is nothing that anyone can do that will have me act out in any way that could be considered violent or aggressive under any circumstances.  Because in 62 years I have never struck a single human being and I never will.  I will die before I ever lived my hands in anger.

So, for the foreseeable future, I believe I will be living here in this house.  And that one way or the other.  I will get to have the mental health, medical care, I need and deserve.  And that I am required to have pursuant to my disability.  That will happen.  The matter what.

There is nothing about my life in any way under any circumstances that should have any kind of significance to this world whatsoever.  I have never once compared what I have gone through in my life to what other people are going through.  I have never once considered been anything I have gone through in my life to have any significance or to be worse in any way then what millions and millions of amazing children and wonderful men and women are dealing with every single day.  In point of fact, I really do sort of agree with my mother.  Meaning my adoptive mother.  Then I probably should have died.  When my mother died.  Because everyone would have been a lot happier.  My parents would have been happier the Maschke family would have been happier the city of Cleveland would've been happier Aileen's brother Claude would most certainly have been a lot happier.  Because he basically hates me because he blames me for screwing up his relationship with Aileen and Evelyn.  Just by virtue of the fact that I fell in love with Aileen.

So I have no illusions about how people basically hate me.  I get the message.  And it doesn't bother me.  I knew when Aileen died that I would end up being alone.  I knew Aileen died.  I would end up being hated by just about every single Cleveland are in Cleveland.  Because Aileen was actually the buffer for that hatred.  When she's dead.  Which means I no longer have a buffer against the hatred that most of the people in Cleveland.  Not a problem.

But because of how things are going.  I don't really feel very comfortable ensuring much of my personal life and more.  So when in all actuality of the the news stories.  I am contemplating, at least at this time, not doing any more personal Journal entries.  I don't see the point.  I am the wrong religion.  And I in the wrong color.  These United States.  There's always an excuse the people have for disliking the poor hating me.  And I'm really tired of all of the the people playing and how many times in many different ways.  They used to excuse their hatred of me.

So if I remove myself altogether or at least diminish my involved with society.  Then I will subsequently diminish the opportunity or opportunities that other people have.  To demonstrate their hatred for me.  That is exactly what I plan on doing.

It's okay.  God knows my heart.  And God knows my soul.  So the explanation.  I am putting your my Journal is not for my darling Aileen Orford God.  They both know every aspect of fluid what I am.  The only reason I have written in this Journal right now is not for God and not for my darling Aileen.  But for you.  The reader.  You are the ones who may think you know me when in reality all you know is what I have shared in my writing.  But then I don't have to go before anyone here on Earth.  When I die.  Because when I die I will do exactly what every other human has done since the beginning of time.  I will go before that energy that is beyond this world that we all call by so many different names as God.  And there is no one here in this world who will be standing next to God and who will judge my soul.  Because there is no one on earth who has that kind of significance or importance.  We've got.  Because if they did, they would not be human.

So we have no illusions.

That is how it should be.

Like I said.  I believe I will be doing my Journal entries privately for a while.  I believe that there are prying eyes me people who are using my Journal to spy on me.  So if I don't write anything publicly.  Then they have nothing.

Therefore other than news stories.  I'm not sure how much I will write personally anymore.

Thank you very much for listening.