is there a really crummy day. I did not get a shower like I wanted. I didn't wash my face. But I was on the phone all morning arguing with Metro meaning Metro Hospital. And that basically got me nowhere. So I am in the midst of attempting to locate a new doctor at the HMO facility or hospital that is covered by United healthcare.
I guess I could say that in some ways I feel cheated. Because I don't have any real access to anyone in the mental health field be able to talk to to work through the problems I'm going through. I'm having trouble using my hands. And I don't really have any help available. My wife is dead. So I'm definitely not feeling very good. And the pain I'm having today is so significant that I am probably going to have to lean back and rest. Even some more. I really feel useless. But I am still trying to find good things to think about every day. Mostly I feel used up.
December is actually turning out to be very similar to what July, was for me. But I'm very tired. My hand is killing me. Meaning it hurts a lot. My back and my neck are also giving me a lot of problems. I probably should've taken that shower today. But I'm going to try again tomorrow to get it done. I did eat. So that's a good thing. But the feelings of wanting to not be here the feelings of wanting to die are really very strong right now. I am so grateful that Dragon NaturallySpeaking my speech program is able to pick up my voice the way it is right now and still operate correctly. That really means a lot. If I didn't have my speech program I would be able to use my computer.
The sadness right now is pretty much overwhelming. My heart is breaking.I miss my darling Aileen so badly right now. I can barely think straight. My right hand is under the electric blanket. That's basically where I am planted at this time. Everything. Well, I just don't really feel that good. I'm having so much meaning that I can't even figure out which one to concentrate on. That's a good day.
I am going to go back and rest. Maybe I'll get lucky this time and I will wake up. There's always hope.
Thank you very much for listening.
My Inner Self
- PROOF of How The Pro-Life Movement Murdered My Mother And Thousands of Other Women In 1950
- My Biographical Profile
- The Keepers Of God
- Villains of Darkness
- I Do Like Being Different
- Gettomg Back Up
- Sunbathing in the Snow
- The Trouble With Angels
- You Can't Take It With You
- Was Alfred Wright Murdered?
- System Update: Windows 7, Dragon NaturallySpeaking
- Senator Leahy: Stop allowing Republican senators to blackball pro-choice judges
- Doing My Underwater Breathing Exercises
- Popcorn At The Movies
- Strolling Through The Hallways
- Tell Apple to protect workers from dangerous chemicals
- I Am A Human Rights Advocate
- Stop Putting Pastors On Trial For Gay Weddings
- My Fair Lady - Revisited
- Changing Of The Guard
- A Bend In The River