Are We There Yet?

Are We There Yet?
This is the sign that is over the front door of Aileen's and my house, our home, going OUT. Meaning that when someone leaves our house they are going into the ACTUAL Mental Ward.

I've always felt that way. When it is considered how much ugliness and killing and hatred there is in the world today, it actually makes perfect sense that this sign is over the door going out of the house.

Because that's where the real mental ward is.

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Just Explain It: Why the Fiscal Cliff May Trigger a Recession | Peter Gorenstein - Yahoo! Finance


Just Explain It: Why the Fiscal Cliff May Trigger a Recession | Peter Gorenstein - Yahoo! Finance

You know, I belong to LinkedIn.  I have no idea why, but I do.  I'm very careful about who I associate with.  That's probably the reason why most of my fellow students at Southern Arizona school want nothing to do with me.  They all came from the wealthiest families in this country.  And they were disgusting.  I never saw so many people with so much money being so concerned with doing drugs.  Because that's what a lot of my fellow students did at Southern Arizona school.  Of every kind.

Once a week the school would drive us into Tucson for a weekly outing like a shopping trip.  And every week or at least most of the time I would spend my time not shopping.  But actually getting to know in working with the Native American community in Tucson.  I wasn't interested in spending lots of money, although I did hate my father's money.  Because I considered his money basically filthy gangster money.  So I really wanted nothing to do with it.

My rule on LinkedIn is the same for my rule everywhere.  If someone doesn't know how to behave as a human being with any kind of charity or kindness for the downtrodden then I want nothing to do with them.  I'm listed on LinkedIn.  As a retired financial analyst, which is of course true.  But most of the people I follow are independent businesswomen.  Because, generally speaking, if a woman is a mother and she is in business.  She will never allow that business to overshadow her responsibility to her children.  That is true generally most of the time.  There are exceptions to every rule.  So there are women who are just as ruthless and justice mean as most of the men in business are.  And of course there are exceptions.

The brilliant police officer who went in and bought a homeless man a pair of shoes that is how most of the police officers in my life have treated me.  So either I was lucky or there are really a lot of fantastically kind police officers.  And I believe that's true.  But it's not true in business.

Please note in this video, which I watched, that it's all about money.  There was very little talk about the jobs that would be lost.  It was more about money.  That's my problem.  Money.  All we care about anymore is money.  Show me a woman who can be as sensitive and this kind and his understanding to me is my darling Aileen and who doesn't give a damn about all this filthy money and I'll show you someone that I would not mind having in my life.  But that's not going to happen.  Let's be real.

The likelihood of me ever finding anyone ever again.  Like my darling Aileen is let's say virtually nonexistent.  I know it's never going to happen.  I know that God basically wants me to die alone.  I get the message.  Each pitched God.  And I talked the way we do to each other.  Because of how well.  I understand God.  And I understand God.  Regardless of what anyone might say.  Because I actually did die in 1968 I died for 5 min.  No matter how much or how hard people at work to try to hide that they can never take the experience of what happened during those 5 min. away from being the matter what they do they can't.  I stood in front of God.  Whether anyone wants to admit it or not.  And I'll tell you what when you get to that last call way where my darling Aileen was none of this filthy money means anything.  It doesn't mean a damn thing.  I'm not bitter about the fact that no one told me that I was going to be responsible for all of the Medicaid money that was spent to be able to try and save my darling Aileen's life.  But I will say this had Aileen known that they were going to charge me that money after she died she would have never ever accepted any care for cancer.  That's how much alike Aileen and I really were.  We were one mind.  We believe in the same things.

She always wanted me to publish my writing.  Not because she wanted us to have a lot of money but because he believed that if I didn't publish my writing we would have more money to do more good things in this world with.  That's why she wanted me to publish.  But I have never felt comfortable taking money from my writing.  I didn't mind taking money for some of the photographs I've taken.  But I did not under any circumstances want to take money for my writing.  I always believed and I still believe to this day that my writing comes from God.  That God gave me the ability to write.  The way I do.  So why would I ever take money for that?

Filthy money.  Ugly disgusting filthy money.  That's all this whole fiscal Cliff is all about.  Money.  Nobody's really talking about the jobs or the foreclosures or children going hungry.  Everybody's talking about money.  Like no one really understands.

As I said, what's the point?  I could write for the next 20 years and people are not going to change.  Nobody is going to change.  Nothing is going to change.  People are not going to stop chasing money because people are basically very selfish.  There are a wide of really unbelievably kind people in this world.  I mean there are huge numbers of people who are wonderful and extremely kind.  But compared to the amount of total people in the world and then compared to how many people in the world are really selfish.  The number of people who are really kind is a very small number relative to the others.

That's really easy to show statistically.  Very easy.  That's all it's about.  Money.  Because that's all we care about.  Money.  The pro-life movement, which is really nothing but a damn joke.  Is more concerned about money than they are with actually saving lives.  Because if they were concerned about saving lives than what they would do is they would spend some of their money on saving lives.  But they don't.  Their money goes toward lawsuits and lobbying and their protests.  None of their public money in any way goes toward saving lives.  They don't spend any of their money saving any of the 6 million women who are being murdered or beaten or raped every year.  They don't spend any of their money saving any living children's lives.  They don't spend any of their money on anything except trying to get what they want.  So that is not charity.  That is an example of being extremely ruthless and extremely selfish and that's all it is.

That's why I know in my heart I will never meet another person like Aileen.  Because the chances of me.  Meaning another woman who could ever except what I am.  Plus even relate to me like I said, that will probably never happen.  Ever again as long as I live.  Which is why God and I have an agreement.  God wants me to die alone.  And I have no problem doing so.  I came into this world alone.  My mother was dead.  And out of sheer luck.  I was adopted into a family of millionaires.  With my father basically being an alcoholic along with my mother.  And both of them were so racist that I could hardly stand being around them.

So I don't have any illusions about getting older.  In my mind, I will be dying alone.  I know that.  Which is why when I curl my hair and put my face on every day.  I'm not doing it for anyone else.  Because nobody ever comes to my door unless they need something.  That's the only time anyone comes over to see me.  Is it they need something.  They don't give a damn about coming over to say hello.  They don't give a damn about coming over just to visit.  They don't give a damn about coming over to check on me.  All they do is come over to my home when they need something.  Because they figure I'm a soft touch.

No problem.  I can be a soft touch.  And I don't mind doing that.  I have no problem giving any one whatever I have as long as I can still get through somehow.  That's basically what I do.

Money.  That's what we are teaching our children today.  Not to care about human beings not to be charitable not to be kind, not to actually reach out and help someone else but to care about money.  And like I said most of the people in the world really do care only about money.  And yet the numbers of people who actually care about other human beings is a huge huge number.  It's gigantic.  There are tons and tons of people millions of people all over the world who care nothing about money but care all about helping other people.  And yet, like I said, statistically speaking, when you analyze the amount of people who actually care about other human beings as compared to the amount of people who care about money, the amount of people who care about money more than people is actually a great deal larger than the amount of people who actually care about other human beings.

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